It’s been over a week since my last orgasm. I am very horny. I’ve been very horny for the last week. No surprise there. Until very recently, the answer to my question about what I want sexually, I would have immediately said, “I want to come!” I’m not so sure that’s my answer now. I want sex, oh boy do I want sex! The thing is, sex doesn’t have to include an orgasm to make me happy. I want to be unlocked and feel Mrs. Lion stimulating me. But I’ve learned not to expect to ejaculate. For a long time my need to ejaculate frustrated me terribly.
In the past, I’ve noted that my most horny day is my fifth day and then on the sixth I was what Mrs. Lion called “grumbly.” It’s true. I would be in a foul mood on the sixth day. I think it was the frustration after my horniest day. Things are different now. The fifth day is the beginning of my extremely horny period. Since I have been edged at least every other day, and more recently every day, I continue being extremely interested in sex. So, why aren’t I in that foul mood anymore? I think it’s because I have learned that sex for me doesn’t normally include ejaculation. Yes, while Mrs. Lion is edging me, all I can think about is finally ejaculating. But when she is done, I don’t feel that rush of disappointment that I was going to be left hanging. What I feel is frustrated, but happy that I got so aroused.
It’s logical that sex has a different face nowadays. As I’ve mentioned before, I am edged over 25 times for each orgasm I am allowed. Normal for me is arousal without satisfaction. I’ve learned that sex ends with me being hornier and more frustrated. On the other hand, sex consists of a long period of intense arousal and good feelings. I find I really like that. I like it enough to look forward to each teasing session. It doesn’t mean that I no longer want to come. Oh no! I really want to come! But I have a very good time with edging as well.
The change isn’t that I no longer want or value orgasm, its my expectation. I have been conditioned to associate sex with stimulation and edging, not orgasm. This is a profound change. Men are conditioned from the first day they play with their little weenies, to experience an orgasm at the end. It’s often referred to as a “happy ending”. The implication is that sex to a man is not complete or satisfying without ejaculation. That’s all we know. As teenagers, many boys experienced “cock teases”, girls who would get them hot without getting them off. Being a cock tease has very negative connotation. Both sexes have been conditioned to always end male stimulation with ejaculation. It may even be instinctive since ejaculation is needed for procreation.
After over a year of the unnatural routine of constant edging and only occasional ejaculation, that instinct, while not dead, has been pushed far enough into the background for me to expect arousal without ejaculation. On the rare occasion when Mrs. Lion lets me give her an orgasm, I don’t expect reciprocation. Each time I have given her one, I remained locked in my cage and had no stimulation either before or after she came. Getting her off arouses me and I do try to get hard in the device. But when she is done, I don’t mind at all that I am unsatisfied. I am happy that I could give her pleasure and I love the arousal I get by touching and tasting her.
Even without our FLM and enforced chastity, I like these changes. I love separating Mrs. Lion’s orgasms from mine. I know that many people seek the holy grail of simultaneous orgasm, but I think that is very overrated. I prefer to focus on giving her the best time I can. I don’t want the distraction of trying to ejaculate.
Maybe this change in my sexuality is what some people call the magical change that enforced chastity makes in a guy. He becomes more focused on his keyholder’s pleasure rather than his own. More correctly, I think, he learns that ejaculation is not necessarily part of sex for him. He learns to place a high value on arousal. That arousal can be from direct stimulation from his keyholder or it can be from the pleasure of providing her with orgasms of her own.
I think that once you remove ejaculation as the male sexual goal, the door opens for much richer experiences for both his keyholder and him. It’s true I feel frustrated when I don’t ejaculate after being aroused. I, like any male, want very badly to come. But unlike many males, I don’t expect to come. With that expectation changed, I can enjoy the attention I am receiving or, if I am lucky, giving. I like this change. It makes me a better male.
