Lion is Gone
It’s hard to believe someone can go from well to gone in so short a time. He was feeling okay on Saturday morning. He even seemed okay after his first two falls. He was unsteady, but that was sort of his normal. Once he got to the hospital, he was joking around with the nurses. He went from being in and out of it all day Sunday and most of Monday. Toward the afternoon on Monday, he was having more trouble. They started dialysis and he seemed to do better. Monday into Tuesday, they needed to intubate him. He seemed to be stable most of the day Tuesday. Then things went downhill fast. Dialysis wasn’t working anymore. He was maxed out on his medications. He was technically alive, but he wasn’t the Lion I knew and loved. I asked them to stop the machines and he slowly stopped breathing. I was assured he wasn’t in any pain. He was not grimacing. He just wasn’t there anymore.
I know he wanted this page to continue on, but I never bothered to learn how to do that. Come back, Lion, and I promise I’ll pay attention to whatever you want me to learn. The site will continue until I can no longer pay for it or it crashes. I want to thank everyone for their support over the years. I know Lion appreciated it as well.
In the Blink of an Eye
Again, I’m sorry for not posting in a while. The news is not good. On Saturday, Lion was weak and fell three times. I’m assuming the first fall caused a huge bruise. He complained of his back hurting, but we got him back to bed. A few hours later, he fell going into the bathroom. We got him up and onto the toilet. Unfortunately, he fell again. This time he broke his foot and bumped his head. He was too weak to make it back to bed, so I called 911.
The original plan was for the medics to get him into bed. However, it became apparent that wasn’t going to happen. His blood pressure was 40/25. I’m not sure how he was still alive and as coherent as he was. We thought he was dehydrated. In the ambulance he was given fluid and seemed to perk up. By the time I met him in the ER, he was himself again. He was admitted so they could continue to work on his blood pressure.
Sunday, his blood pressure was up and down. They kept adding new drugs and he was responding, but his pressure was still up and down. At about 3 am Monday, I received a call that they wanted to do a blood transfusion, which Lion originally agreed to, but then rescinded. I told them to do it and headed to the hospital. He was coherent enough when I got there to ask why I approved the transfusion. His blood was getting too acidic, and they postulated that his bruise was still bleeding. He understood why I did what I did. By afternoon Monday, they were starting dialysis. He hadn’t eaten anything since dinner Saturday and drinking anything, even water, made him vomit. His kidneys were not getting rid of the toxins.
With the dialysis going and several different drugs pumping into him, he was still in and out of it. Even when he was out of it, he seemed to know I was there for him. He was sleeping when I left this afternoon to let the dog out. Around 11 pm, the doctor called and said they needed to intubate him. He’d stop breathing and not start right up. He’s not on a mechanical ventilator and I’ve been assured they’ll wake him up from time to time to see if he’s able to be de-intubated.
Today was rough. Between his being out of it more often and the need for transfusions and dialysis, I was right on the edge of losing it myself. I was operating on only a few hours sleep and hoped to get more tonight. After the intubation phone call, all thoughts of sleep went out the window. I’m very scared for him. The past few days, I’ve been telling him to hang on and get better. Now I’m afraid he’s in more pain than ever. I don’t want him to suffer. When I see him in the morning, I think I’ll have to have the letting go talk.
This is not to say I want him to go. I just don’t want him in pain. I also don’t want him to keep getting worse and worse. If he can’t battle back, I want him to let go.
It’s horrible how fast life can change for the worst. I wish he was in his own bed like he wants and yelling at the stupid people on Wheel of Fortune who can’t figure out the obvious puzzle.
Please keep him in your thoughts.
Back At Last
It has been a while since I have posted to our blog. As Mrs. Lion wrote, I had some serious trouble with my one good eye. I suffer from glaucoma and the pressure in my right eye was getting to the point that it would be dangerous. The ophthalmologist wanted to install a tube in the eye that would relieve the pressure. The tube is supposed to have a valve in it that only lets the pressure go down to a point. The surgery to insert the valve was perfect. Later that day I could see normally from that eye. The trouble started the next morning.
When I woke up, I was completely blind. My right eye didn’t work at all, and of course, my left eye was already not functioning. Needless to say, I panicked. We had appointment with the ophthalmologist for the one-day follow-up from the surgery and reported the problem to him. He tested the pressure in the eye. The eye is supposed to have a pressure between 5 and 15. Below that number the eye can’t retain its shape and above that number glaucoma can take vision away by killing the optic nerve. My pressure was two. The ophthalmologist sent me to another doctor who specialized in retina and back of the eye problems. This doctor had a hard time seeing anything because of debris to the lens of my eye. She guessed that that was part of the problem.The original surgeon brought me back into the OR and reinflated my eye using a gel. The pressure was 10. Good! Unfortunately, the next day the pressure was back down to two. He repeated the procedure but also put sutures across the tube shutting off its ability to drain eye. The device that he inserted is defective. The valve that is supposed to control pressure doesn’t work. I’m reporting this prompt to the FDA and I plan to sue the manufacturer. Anyway, the retina doctor performed a surgery on Thursday and cleaned the gunk off lens. The pressure was holding since the tube had been sealed off.
When the bandage was removed the next morning, I could see! Unfortunately, everything is very blurry. I’m told that will take about a month from my eye to recover. It turns out that the eye is like a balloon. The fluid pressure inside keeps it inflated. When the pressure dropped because the defective device let the fluid out the back of my eye deflated like a balloon. And that’s what caused the trouble.Anyway, it was a very scary time for me. Being blind is amazingly difficult. Mrs. Lion was great and helped me deal with tasks of daily living. I have a good memory of the layout of our bedroom, bathroom, and some of the other rooms in the house. That helped me navigate by touch. Right now, I can see enough to find my way from room to room. I can’t read the screen and I’m using a voice device that’s built into Windows to take dictation so I can write this post. Mrs. Lion will edit it and get rid of the junk and the grammar that comes from this sort of writing.We are going to try some sex this weekend. I’m excited about that. It’s been several weeks. Sex was not high on my priorities when I was blind.One thing bothered me: Capitalize nobody commented when Mrs. Lion talked about my problem. I had hoped that some of my fellow bloggers would offer well wishes, but no one did. I know a lot of people read this blog. I also can tell from our statistics that many people read here. I’ll never understand what that means. Anyway, I’m sort of back and life for us is slowly returning to normal. Mrs. Lion won’t be able to spank me until my eye heals up to allow me to lie down on my stomach and accept the paddle. That’s probably a month away. I am very grateful that I can see.
How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?
He can see! It’s very blurry, but yesterday’s surgery was a success. We’re hoping things will get less blurry as time goes on. Apparently, the industrial strength medicine they use to dilate your eye for surgery keeping working for about a week after. That’s partially the cause of the blurriness.
I was trying to help him set his computer up to read things for him. It doesn’t help when the instructions say, “Click the start button.” If I can’t see well, how do I know where the start button is? Oh well. He can figure it out as he sees better.
