Apparently just the threat of Icy Hot was enough to rouse Mr. Weenie from his slumber. I think tonight I’ll use some rope or clothespins to get his attention even more. It’s always tricky when Lion is in one of his slumps. Do I let him work it out on his own or do I intercede? The whole exercise of enforced chastity and female led marriage with discipline is for Lion. If he’s not interested in play, why would I want to force him?

Of course, I’ll pounce when the opportunity presents itself. If he’s horny, it’s on! It may not be as “on” as he’d like it. He’d much rather have an orgasm every chance he gets, but that’s not quite how it works. I’ll edge him as much as he’d like – and sometimes more than he’d like – but he won’t necessarily get the brass ring.

And whether he’s ready for play or not, the rules are still in play. Last night he was almost punished. I came home with my arms full of groceries, kicked the front door closed, called the dog who then made all sorts of noise, got the dinner I’d bought all ready, and there was no sign of Lion. I even called the dog back into the kitchen when she’d gone into the bedroom. If Lion wasn’t coming to help me, I reasoned he should either be in the shower or dead. He was neither. His face was buried in a laptop.

I was annoyed. He said he didn’t hear me come in. Didn’t hear the door slam, didn’t hear the dog (it’s kind of impossible to miss her floor show when one of us comes home), didn’t hear me call her back to the kitchen. He apologized. I let it go. Why? I don’t know. I’m finding that things are bothering me more than usual. It’s partly work. We have new people who just don’t seem to be getting it. Then the people who have been here for a while start losing their ability to function too. It’s stressful, hence the sign on my desk.

So I didn’t punish Lion. He didn’t do anything on purpose. What can I do? If he says he didn’t hear me, he didn’t hear me. It’s not like I yelled for him. I just made enough noise to wake the dead. OK. Breathe.

Go Figure

Sex hasn’t been on my mind much lately. I’m not sure if there is a reason for this or if it’s just biological. We’ve both been snoozing more than usual. Much of the weekend was spent in bed either napping or watching TV. With both of us naked, you’d think other things would cross our minds. Mrs. Lion had written that we would go down to the dungeon and use the sling. That didn’t happen. She said she would do it if I wanted, but I didn’t really feel like it.

There’s nothing wrong with this beyond making my posts less exciting. Sooner or later one of us will be sufficiently motivated to start playing again. I suspect Mrs. Lion may take the lion by the uh, you know, and start something modest in the bedroom. She’s an expert in jump starting me. Essentially, it will hurt until I like it. That approach is tried and true.

It probably depends on her energy level. She’s been sleeping a little better lately and judging by this weekend, she’s paid back a lot of her sleep deficit. Typically,  she emerges from her evening shower with a tub of “Boy Butter” in one hand and a butt plug in the other. That’s my signal to roll over. An hour or two with the plug in place is followed by some manual attention in front. This technique doesn’t always work the first time, but after a few days of this, my motor is running smoothly again.

I wonder at the success she has with this process. Of all the BDSM activities we do, anal penetration is my least favorite. Intellectually, I believe that I should be able to accept pegging with a large dildo. So far, I haven’t. Bondage and spanking (the play variety) are my favorites. Apparently, my preferences don’t govern how my penis will react. If that were the case, anal penetration would stop my motor cold. It doesn’t.

The concept of “liking” a BDSM activity appears to have nothing to do with enjoying it. Most are painful, or at the least, uncomfortable. I don’t get off from pain. But I do get turned on by accepting it. I suppose that’s why it’s called kink. There are no straight lines in sight.

Weenie Van Winkle

We didn’t play yesterday either. I started the laundry, went into the bedroom where Lion was watching TV and played a bit on my iPad. Lion snoozed off and on. He asked if I wanted the heat turned on downstairs so we could play and then went back to snoozing. I was tired and cold so I climbed under the covers too. A long while later, Lion said he turned the heater off since I was sleeping. I only took a nap because he’d been snoozing. He said he hadn’t been sleeping. I guess it was the dog doing a ventriloquism act using Lion as her dummy. She was very convincing!

After I made dinner, washed the dishes, finished the laundry and took a shower, Lion said he was available for snuggling whenever I was. When I moved over to snuggle and started to play with my weenie, he said he wasn’t horny and apologized. It’s not a big deal. Snuggling is nice without anything else.

Just before bed, Lion said we’d wasted the whole weekend. He didn’t get to have any fun. First, it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part. I attempted to resuscitate the weenie a few times without success. Second, did he think my making breakfast, feeding the animals, doing the laundry, making dinner and cleaning up after it was fun for me? Third, weekends are usually for catching up on all sorts of things that don’t get done during the week. He can have fun tonight or tomorrow night or whenever Mr. Weenie wakes up.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe Mr. Weenie is reacting to fall by going into a modified hibernation. Weenie Van Winkle. I hope he doesn’t sleep for that long. Perhaps I can jump start him by bringing out the Icy Hot. The threat of a small dot of Icy Hot on the tip of his penis might be enough to arouse him. Maybe a stripe down the bottom of the shaft. Putting it on his balls wouldn’t be fair. It’s not their fault he isn’t responding.

Don’t Try This At Home

Several days ago I wrote about cock and ball spanking. One of the blogs in our “Blogs We Read” list wrote about penis spanking. Wouldn’t you know, s(he) extolled the joys of spanking the shaft. S(he) claimed reading about this practice in a “domme” magazine. The word “domme” was invented after a contest to come of with a female noun for dominant (which happens to be an adjective) on the old alt.spanking newsgroup. I dislike it intensely.

Anyway, this post suggested beating the erect penis with a ruler. A hard penis is a little less easy to damage with spanking. But, the tissue that allows the penis to get hard can be seriously injured by beating it. The blogger then extolled the value of a strong liniment applied to the shaft. Somehow, applying this hot stuff caused tears and moans but the penis stayed hard.

I can’t comment on this sort of torture. Mrs. Lion restricts her application of hot stuff to my balls and below. When she feels merciful, she’ll play with my penis while my balls are burning. The arousal reduces my suffering. The more aroused I am, the more pain I can take. It’s a survival strategy. Once mating has started, nature wants us to complete the activity so we can reproduce. When Mrs. Lion stops playing with me, the pain becomes nearly unbearable. Hot stuff is a favorite activity when I’m strapped into my sling.

All real-life BDSM organizations offer extensive play safety training for their members. Generally, experienced sex educators offer workshops on topics like bondage, spanking, CBT, anal play, and lots more. Sadly, there isn’t an Internet equivalent. YouTube is pretty prudish about such videos. In any case, YouTube lets anyone put up a video, so you wouldn’t know if the so-called safety lesson is correct.

Irresponsible bloggers frequently offer vivid descriptions of dangerous play without any “don’t try this at home” warnings. I was safety director and dungeon master for a very large BDSM organization. We offered extensive hands-on training in play techniques. I’m very sensitive about safe play. I’m particularly put off by people who present fantasy as fact, particularly when what they write about is dangerous.

For the record, I’ve removed the offending blog from our list. Play hard AND play safe!