We had another wind storm, although it was far less gusty than the last one. Lion said we might lose power. Luckily, being the procrastinator I am, I never put stuff away from the last power failure so we would have been in good shape. The second I put stuff away is when we’ll lose power again.
Last night was Lion’s turn to beg off from sex. His stomach was bothering him. I made a big meal including a salad so we were both stuffed. Instead, we held hands and watched TV.
The other day, Lion wrote about the importance of punishment spanking and how each of us views it. I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong when he points things like that out. I know he’s not saying I’m wrong. I just feel it. It’s like I’m letting him down. Why can’t I just feel X like he wants me to? I guess the simple answer is that we’re wired differently. If, hypothetically, we couldn’t be together anymore and were forced (by whom, I don’t know, it’s hypothetical) to choose other partners, I would be fine with a vanilla partner. Assuming I had any sex drive, that is. I don’t think Lion would do well in a vanilla relationship. We’ve tried it a few times when he assured me he’d be fine without kinky stuff. He was climbing the walls in no time.
However, I do agree with his idea that our different views of punishment are the reason there haven’t been many (any) new rules. I see it as a game, I guess. For that reason, the trivial rules work for me. Yes, it’s nice not to have to set up the coffee pot every morning. Yes, it’s nice not to have to backtrack to grab Lion’s pills from the closet. But is it really a problem? No. I still can’t wrap my head around punishing him for annoying me. There are always extenuating circumstances. I also have a hard time punishing him for interrupting me. Again, there are degrees of interrupting.
I guess I would lump annoying me and interrupting me together. There are times he interrupts and I can just raise my voice to tell him I was going to say that as he interrupted me. If he’s been interrupting me or annoying me and it’s the last straw, I might punish him. I guess it’s really like a kid. You can only take so much before you snap. For me, raising my voice is a big step. I never used to let Lion know he was annoying me. I’m not sure what the next step is. Maybe it’s letting him know he’s on the brink of punishment. Maybe it’s actually punishing him. Maybe it’s both, at different times.
I’m still trying to get to the point that I think punishment is good for our marriage. Will I ever get there? I have no idea. I guess, if it makes Lion happy, it’s good for our marriage. I know he’s good for me.
As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she finally gave me the spanking I was owed. She did an excellent job reporting it. I didn’t end up with any bruises. It was painful and unpleasant. I know, I know, that’s the idea. I got the message loud and clear. Mrs. Lion got a comment to an earlier post from Lisa Stone,
“Everything revolves around Lion’s ass in one way or another.“
That sounds odd at first glance, but it’s essentially true. Our activities used to center around my penis. It was all about orgasm denial, male chastity hardware, and CBT. Over time the focus seems to have moved to my ass. It is the principal conduit for Mrs. Lion to express her displeasure. BDSM activities involve anal training. I suppose that in terms of time spent on my body, the penis still wins out. In terms of intensity, my ass is clearly the winner.
Without planning it, we have a sort of heads-you-win-tails-you-lose process. It’s fun and games when I am on my back and discomfort and retribution when my ass is in the air. I don’t think we ever considered this before; at least I haven’t. It’s actually very sensible. There’s one inconsistency: Mrs. Lion will sexually stimulate me on nights that I am spanked. I get both the ass pain and the penis fun on the same nights. As Mrs. Lion wrote, I have a bit of trouble processing the punishment and getting ready for sex. She’s right. I think it might be better to restrict activities to one side of me or the other, at least when punishment is involved.
Speaking of punishment, I know many people don’t understand why either of us would want domestic discipline. Even though I wanted it, and we did it, I hesitated using that label. I called it Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). It was a way of avoiding the harsher sounding label of domestic discipline. I finally realized that it was silly to avoid it.
Mrs. Lion still struggles with punishing me for more than a few minimal rules she set up for me a long time ago. I’m not saying I don’t deserve to be punished if I forget a chore. I do. There are almost certainly other, more serious offenses that go unpunished. She hesitates to include them.
For my part, I’ve come to see her willingness to discipline me as a sign of her love. Maybe our reader put her finger on a more profound truth than she imagined. Maybe my ass is a very significant conduit for feeling Mrs. Lion’s love.
Once I was all wet in the shower, I realized I hadn’t spanked Lion. Damn! Oh well. When I got out, I got the spanking pillow and selected a paddle. I purposely didn’t let him see the paddle. He kept trying to sneak a peek, but I had it behind my legs.
I didn’t start out hitting hard. I thought I was gradually increasing how hard I was hitting, but Lion was howling. Has his hide been softened because I haven’t been spanking him much? I told him I wasn’t hitting very hard and he disagreed. So then I told him I could hit harder for comparison. He did not like the comparison swats. Poor thing. I kept going at the harder level, with him yowling and then there were a few blood spots on his right cheek, and maybe a bruise forming on the left. But I wasn’t done.
Sometimes I hit him harder in sets of five swats on each cheek to end the festivities. Sometimes I do very hard swats one at a time to alternating cheeks. Last night was a very hard swat one at a time kind of night. (By the way, I told him he looked like he was getting a bruise about halfway through. And we did talk about how hard the swats were. So if he says I was silent, you have my permission to call him out.) I don’t think he was a very happy boy when I was done.
I know with a painful spanking, it sometimes takes him a few minutes to process things before he’s ready to talk. When this first happened, I thought he was mad at me for hitting him so hard even though he told me I should hit him harder. I needed him to tell me we were okay. Once he explained what was happening, I felt better. I don’t always remember at the time, though. Maybe that’s another reason it would be best for me to spank him before I shower. Not only would the pain subside, but he’d have some time alone to process it.
I’m sorry to say, it seemed like Lion was well on his way to an orgasm, or the edge at the very least, but my neck was hurting. He was not really across the bed, so I had to turn my head while I was sucking him. It was an awkward angle. If he’s across the bed, it’s easier for me. But then his head isn’t supported very well. We’ll need to figure this out or one of us will always be uncomfortable. Maybe the spanking pillow can do double duty as a wedge under Lion’s pillow. It’s worth a try.
We had a quiet Sunday. I did more writing. I’m working on my second book in the Les Peters series. Click here for a free preview of the first one, Fan Mail. If you’ve read it, please leave a review on Amazon. Anyway, Mrs. Lion didn’t spank me. I know it’s coming when she gets around to it. I know why I’m getting it. Believe me. I’ve been very careful to get the coffeepot set up before morning. In a way, the threat of a spanking made me more careful. However, if Mrs. Lion doesn’t eventually punish me, I could lose some fear of retribution.
In all of the time we have had a disciplinary relationship, I haven’t purposely broken a rule to get spanked. That’s cheating as far as I’m concerned. Within the last few months, I haven’t earned more than a handful of spankings. That’s good news in the sense that Mrs. Lion is satisfied with my behavior. It’s bad news because a certain amount of spanking is sexually good for me. It’s probably good for me in other ways as well.
I think it’s interesting that Mrs. Lion and I write very differently about discipline. You would expect us to have different perspectives. We agree that it is necessary and that spanking is the preferred method of administering it. Beyond that, we seem to be on different planets. If we had our own blog and didn’t reveal our connection, I doubt you would realize that we are together.
I see punishment as a necessary part of our marriage. It’s a physical connection that empowers Mrs. Lion and helps me improve. I also find it sexually arousing to think about being spanked. Mrs. Lion writes about spanking as something she does because I want it. I don’t remember her saying that it has value beyond being something I want.
She is reluctant to discuss this subject in any depth. She shares descriptions of what she does and what I did to earn it. Likely, it isn’t particularly important to her. It doesn’t have to be. It is important to me. It could be that punishing me isn’t of great value to her, and that’s why we have no new rules. There’s nothing I can do about that. Based on our experience, more disciplinary activity would be good for us both.