Since we are focusing on our move, sex and discipline have been largely absent. Well, absent from actions not from my mind. We seem to be bedroom-rooted when it comes to both. Mrs. Lion reserves time after dinner for discipline. It’s been a very long time since she’s spanked me before we’ve eaten our dinner. Similarly, sex has been reserved for after 10 PM. Occasionally, we will snuggle and she will edge me or even let me ejaculate before that hour. This is true even on weekends.

I’m sure this isn’t unusual. Logically, it makes some sense to wait until the day has wound down and we are relaxing. I’m not sure that this is the best idea. We’ve integrated enforced male chastity and our disciplinary activities into our marriage. Neither of us consider these things external to our basic relationship. When we’ve had to suspend any of them, we both miss it. At the same time it appears that we’ve compartmentalized these activities into a small, end-of-day block of time.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with that. From the very beginning this is how things have gone. On the rare occasion I’ve been spanked or masturbated during the day or early evening, it’s felt exotic and a little bit naughty. We are alone in our house and we have no external reason why we can’t do everything and anything whenever we want. It just seems that the current comfort zone lives in the evening.

I would like to change that. It may not be possible because both of us are basically creatures of habit. However, spontaneity is something that I think we should cultivate. Our BDSM play activities are also very limited. There is a good reason for this. Mrs. Lion comes home tired from work and wants to unwind. On the weekends, she also likes to get other things done first. I get that. Months ago, Mrs. Lion set up her Box O’ Fun. As you may recall, this is a small wooden box filled with slips of paper on which Mrs. Lion has written various BDSM activities. She used to take it out and have me pick a slip of paper. She would then do what was written on that slip. The activities ranged from clothespins on my balls to spanking, penetration, etc. It was a way to overcome our sexual inertia.

It was a very good idea. Sadly, that went into disuse as well during the time I had to deal with medical issues. We haven’t resumed. We both are at fault here the very reason we initiated this was to try to overcome our desire to just not move. A lot of the responsibility goes to me because of the medical problems we had to cope with. I’m now much better. However, we are in the middle of moving. We can’t really spare the time to do much of anything. Mrs. Lion is exhausted because she has to do the packing. By the time she gets home from work, makes dinner, and does some packing she isn’t in any shape to do anything with me.

We need to think about the future. Once we move into our new house there are even more reasons not to do anything. We will be occupied with unpacking. This is a challenge most couples face. The easiest way to resolve it is to turn off all the intimate activities. It’s very easy to prioritize “essential” non-sexual activities. It’s also completely understandable. But I’m convinced that this sort of inertia can be destructive.

I think we have to get practical and prioritize sex and our power exchanges high enough so that we can reserve time to pursue them even if other, more pressing vanilla needs are getting in the way. The problem isn’t just time. It would be pretty easy for us, given our penchant for routine to schedule 30 minutes each day for these activities. The hard part is finding the energy to actually do things. I have no easy answer for that. I just know that we need to do something.

I think that the fact we have relegated these activities to hours after we eat dinner, sets us up to skip them. I think we need to consider being more flexible about timing. On weeknights, it’s impractical to expect Mrs. Lion to come home from work, get out of her work clothes, and commence these activities. She needs time to wind down. My suggestion would be to consider doing this after she takes her shower. She usually showers about half an hour after dinner. In the past, pre-medical days, this was when she would spank me if I had a spanking coming. A short time after that, she would initiate any play or other sexual activity for the evening.

I would like to get back to this. I’m not saying we have to start tonight. That would be incredibly unreasonable of me. I do think we need to sit down and do some play. we need an agreement; one that we will not break easily. When we first started enforced male chastity, we had an agreement that I would be teased at least once every other day. Mrs. Lion honored that religiously. We should do something like that now. Perhaps agree that if I have punishment coming, it gets delivered at least every other day. Hopefully, if I have a series of spankings coming it would get executed daily. However, it’s unreasonable to expect that all the time. Maybe we could agree to dig out the Box O’Fun two or three times a week. Of course, if Mrs. Lion is in the mood she could bring it out or just decide for herself what she wants to do to me at any time.

A lot of people wonder why things like contracts and other agreements are necessary for something as organic as sex. We like to think about things as intimate as sex and play as spontaneous activities. Thanks to our male chastity agreements, sex is very much alive and well with us.  Also, because of these agreements as well as our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), our sexual communications channel is wide open and our sex life is alive and well. Of course, we have bumps like now. We also have tools to get over them. I’m very grateful for that.

It was bound to happen. The stress of moving and things changing finally got to us. We were yelling at each other last night. I’m still pissed. Yes, I harbor resentment at times. It takes a while for me to calm down, especially when we’ve discussed things, made certain decisions, I’ve been told I’m wrong and we supposedly have a plan in place.

I realized, when Lion ate before I did at breakfast, that I don’t care about the rules right now. Spill stuff, don’t spill stuff. Eat first, don’t eat first. Piss me off, don’t piss me off. I won’t say anything. Except for the pissing me off part. That, you can be sure, will get more than just a look. I’m tired of expressing an idea, having it crapped on, and then we wind up going with that idea because Lion thought of it.

I feel like a pinball game being banged on and rocked. It’s time I said, “Tilt!” So I am, once again, suspending the rules until after the move. They can resume once the movers have left the premises. I know there will be conflicts during unpacking. Lion will still say he’s doing everything. I’ll still be running with the clean up crew. But I think those things will be manageable because we’re no longer under the gun to get things from point A to point B. This deadline is killing us.

Whatever punishment Lion is due, which I think is three or four more days [Lion — Actually, it’s seven days.], will be administered after the rules go back into effect. He will not accumulate any more punishment before then. This does not mean he has free range to annoy me. I will be yelling. It’s something I rarely do. I normally push my feelings down but now I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of annoyance.

If Lion is correct, our stress level should go down now that he’s hiring the movers I suggested weeks ago that he just found this morning. Maybe then I’ll calm down a little.

See, Wayne? Nothing at all about making Lion bleed. Now I’m just yelling. Isn’t that a much healthier approach?

[Lion — I was hoping to complete the move more cheaply. The cost of hiring a mover roughly doubles our cost. It just means that we have to take more money out of savings. Given the fact that this project is causing us so much upset, I think it’s a good use of the money. Mrs. Lion, you were right from the beginning.]

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Mrs. Lion and I are thoroughly tired of dealing with this move. She’s been exhausted every day with aching joints and frustration with the progress we need to make. On Sunday he mentioned that I’ve been doing some things that annoy her. She didn’t even want to mention what they were at the time nor did she want to discuss them on Sunday. This goes beyond our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD. It means that something I’m doing is contributing to her stress.

In my mind, at least, the whole point of our disciplinary activity is to provide her with a satisfying way of resolving problems I create. Now we are in a very stressful situation where, at least to me, it would be crucial to be able to express those feelings. I’m not claiming that Mrs. Lion should muster the energy to spank me, though I think the activity might serve as a safety valve for her. It’s important to mention it even if there is no physical follow-through.

Couples who begin the kind of disciplinary relationship we have, do it because there is an issue that needs resolution and seems to the couple to lend itself to domestic discipline. Our reason aside from my interest in spanking, is rooted in the need to open up a clean channel of communication regarding things I do that disturb Mrs. Lion. I think we’ve made good progress. I guess we haven’t made enough. While this may not be the ideal time to get out the old paddle, lessons learned from what we’ve been doing should make it easier for Mrs. Lion to growl or snarl as needed.

I understand that our implementation of her ability to express herself more freely includes physically punishing me. She’s never been very interested in the verbal side. Many disciplining wives include scolding as part of their punishments. We’ve never done that. Perhaps the fact that we have been physical and non-verbal failed to build the growling habit for my lioness. It’s not necessarily a bad thing that we didn’t. At times like this verbal scolding skills would come in handy.

I can’t in good conscience suggest Mrs. Lion include spanking on a day that her knees and shoulders ache and all she wants to do is get into bed and hopefully sleep. I think this situation does expose a flaw in our disciplinary plan. Everything I’ve read about domestic discipline always includes the need to make it very clear to the guy being spanked why he is in this position now. Mrs. Lion generally tells me why am about to be spanked or asked me to tell her what I did wrong. I guess it might be helpful if you would express that in much stronger terms. I don’t think it’s necessary as part of the banking process, but now I’m starting to realize that it may be a good habit to build. It will serve her well at times when the actual physical punishment has to either be canceled or postponed.

I don’t think that either of us considered our current situation in terms of how to sustain our disciplinary relationship. We both ignored situations when Mrs. Lion was too tired to punish me. We also learned that building up a “bank account” of owed spankings didn’t work out for us. As a result, Mrs. Lion will just suspend rules when she knows that for some reason we can’t have our spankings.

Right now, I do have a backlog of seven spankings. Mrs. Lion will take care of that little issue when she recharges her batteries. I think it might be a good idea to encourage more gravels in addition to the inevitable spankings. I’m very proud of Mrs. Lion. She does a wonderful job in her role as my disciplining wife. She’s doing amazingly well managing our move.

Yesterday we had to go on a box run. Despite the fact that we’ve been throwing out tons of stuff, we still have a lot to pack. It’s not like we have our house jammed with stuff. There’s plenty of wasted space. Don’t envision an episode of “Hoarders”. I don’t know how many boxes we have already packed. At some point I have to consolidate so we have room to pack other things.

My friend came over to help yesterday. She dismantled our pantry (which was a mishmash of food, cleaning supplies, paper products and assorted other crap) in two hours. It would have taken me a week to do it. She also ran through the rest of the kitchen and left us with just enough to navigate the next few days. Of course, there’s still plenty to pack.

We took my friend to dinner as a thank-you for helping. By the time we got home I was exhausted. My legs were killing me and it was difficult to keep my eyes open. We took showers and settled in to watch our football team lose. I was asleep by 10:30. Around 11:30 we finally turned the TV off. I thought I slept well, but I’m still tired today. Just another week or so of this nonsense and we’ll get back to normal.

In the meantime, Lion doesn’t understand why I’d let things slide. If he annoys me, I should punish him. I agree. But that takes energy and I haven’t had much lately. It even takes energy to tell him he’s annoying me. Most of what he’s doing is just not considering my feelings. I suggest something and rather than discuss it, he says we’ll do it his way. Or he’ll discount my idea altogether. Considering I’m doing all of the heavy lifting, my thoughts should count for something.

Maybe I’ll feel better tonight since I got some sleep last night. Lion better watch his butt. I’ll make sure I save some energy for punishment.

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