Abbot and Costello

Why don’t I feel like I’m in charge sometimes? Consider this morning. The dog woke me up from a sound sleep at 7-something. Of course I’m the one she wakes up. I’m the one who wakes up. I manage to get back to sleep only to be woken up an hour or so later. This time Lion is awake too. It appears we’re both awake for good. The dog won’t go out. I go crawl in bed again and ask Lion if he’s hungry. He says no and asks if I am. When I say no he says he’ll make the French toast in a little bit when we’re hungry. I specifically asked if Lion was hungry rather than asking if he was making the French toast or if I was because of our issue with pancakes for dinner. He said I didn’t want to make the pancakes because I asked which one of us should make it. I was perfectly happy to make the pancakes then and I would have made the French toast this morning.

Lion rolled back over, I assume, to go back to sleep. I’m awake. I decide to go downstairs to check email and maybe start my post. A few minutes later Lion is up making breakfast. Okay. Maybe I was wrong. He wasn’t going back to sleep. Then he’s snarkily asking if I’m coming upstairs to breakfast or if I’m staying downstairs all day. I was downstairs maybe a half hour.

When I tell him I thought he was going back to sleep he says he was but apparently it was time to get up. I often go downstairs while he sleeps. It’s never signaled anything before. He said he assumed I was going to the kitchen to make breakfast. Why would I have made breakfast if he was going back to sleep? Because apparently it was time to get up. I feel like we’re Abbott and Costello.

[Lion — That’s not exactly the way I remember it. When I noticed Mrs. Lion had gone downstairs and our dog had decided  I needed to be awake too, I got up and made breakfast. I wasn’t being snarky. I had said that I was cooking french toast today.]

For some reason we’ve been passive-aggressive toward each other lately. I feel like I need to walk on eggshells so I don’t incite anything. I’m not sure what’s going on. I’m not trying to aggravate him. I do snark back when I’m feeling particularly attacked. I suppose in a female led marriage with domestic discipline I should just grab a paddle and start swinging but I’m not inclined to do that if there’s something going on other than toddler behavior. If the butt-whomping a little over a week ago really had an effect, shouldn’t this type of behavior have stopped? Am I doing something that elicits his behavior? Obviously we can’t talk in the midst of our Abbott and Costello routine. We’ll have to find another time to talk.

Just Do It

We spent yesterday running errands. It wasn’t all running around. Mrs. Lion had time to write her post and play some games on her PC. I relaxed and watched some reruns of “Law and Order SVU”. It wasn’t productive but it was nice. My interest in sex has been pretty low. Maybe this is just one of my periodic slowdowns. They seem to be coming more frequently lately. I don’t think it is stress from work. That’s calmed down for the time being; and I do love my job.

I admit that the lack of play has been due to me. We have been snuggling. That’s more important than sex. I was allowed to be wild from Friday night to last night. Then, as announced, the cage was locked in place again.

Mrs. Lion was talking with me in the car last night. She mentioned that her friends at work talked about who was in charge at home. I don’t remember if she told them that she was. But she told me that sometimes she doesn’t feel like she is in charge. She didn’t elaborate so I’m not sure when that happens.

It’s not surprising. Transitioning from acceptance to leadership is a long and difficult process. We’ve celebrated (not sure that is exactly the right word, at least for me) two milestones: She spanked me for saying things that annoyed her. And, she admitted that she feels ownership of my penis. The second was brought on by my return to a chastity device. Both signal the budding of a new phase in our relationship.

The next step, in my opinion, is when she starts to feel those lapses in her authority, she will take immediate steps to restore her confidence. I imagine her paddle will be part of that process.

Living with me isn’t all that easy. I admit that I am headstrong and very used to my position as king of beasts. Taming me isn’t the easiest occupation Mrs. Lion could have.

I’ve worried that this shift of power could  hurt our relationship. At the very least, during the transition, there is discomfort on both sides. So far, we both agree that things seem to be moving in the right direction. But there is a risk that discomfort with the change could manifest itself in distance between us. To avoid this, we both have to be honest with our feelings. I think we have been so far.

I hope that Mrs. Lion will continue to stay on top of how I affect her. She worries too much about being fair. I don’t expect fairness. I expect her to use her position as disciplining wife to punish me if she feels anything is bothering her about us. Extra punishments for me are actually good for both of us. It’s the same sort of conditioning we both have about rule breaking. There is no longer any hesitation about punishing me for breaking a rule. A spill on my shirt always means a red butt.

The same sort of reflexive discipline is what I think we need when Mrs. Lion has even a twinge of feeling she is not in charge. It doesn’t matter what the cause may be. It only matters that she needs to reinforce her authority. The only way she can do that is by punishing me. I know that she will think there are better ways that involve her “just changing”. I believe that internalizing is the last thing that will help.

Even though I don’t appear to deserve it, I’m suggesting that the paddle comes out when she feels that loss of authority. This isn’t a matter of fairness. It’s a training exercise is letting feelings out. My bottom can handle it.

Fits and Starts

Lion’s allergies have been acting up again. I need to vacuum more extensively to get rid of dust again. I also found out on Thursday that my son will be in the area starting tomorrow. He’ll be working so I won’t be able to see him until next weekend but, given that I haven’t seen him in over six years, I can wait another few days. But I need to clean the spare bedroom so he can stay with us for at least one night. Lots to do.

Because of his allergies, Lion hasn’t been as horny as he normally is. Yesterday he said he was horny and looking forward to last night’s ball tying adventure. He was hard. His balls were bouncing. But we didn’t get much further than that. Lion apologizes. I tell him he doesn’t need to apologize. Rinse and repeat. I just want to make him happy. If there’s something more I can do I just need him to tell me. I know he wanted me to just edge him last night with no possibility of an orgasm. I was willing to do that. I can restrain myself. Honest.

We’ll take another run at it tonight, maybe minus the ball tying. I left him wild. Why? I don’t know. I just wanted to. He’s going to clean the cage today. When we’re done with whatever we do tonight, even if it’s nothing, I’ll lock him back up. There will be no pressure to perform. I don’t think he’s any less of a man because, as he says, he’s “broken” any more than he thinks I’m less of a woman because my libido is gone. We’re just us and we do whatever we can to make each other happy. So far I’d say it’s working out just fine.

Girl Scout Fun

Mrs. Lion’s ropecraft.

(Friday afternoon) It’s been cold with a little snow here. We rarely experience either. Our winters are consistently between 40 and 50 degrees. It snows a bit every couple of years. This past week the temperature has dipped into the twenties at night. It’s been a bit chilly here at home. Our heat isn’t able to handle really cold weather.

When we’re home, we’ve been spending a lot of time under the covers. It’s nice to hold hands while getting warm. Yesterday, Mrs. Lion brought an electric heater into the bedroom. Tonight is Box O’Fun night and it should be warm enough to play. If I don’t feel like playing or edging, for that matter, Mrs. Lion is willing to call the activities off. I did that on Thursday night. I  just didn’t have the energy to do anything. Tonight I expect to be ready and willing.

She mentioned in an earlier post that instead of the Box O’Fun she might just do ball bondage tonight. I think she likes her ropecraft. She also likes my balls. Tying them up is a chance to do two things she likes at the same time.

I like it too. When they are tightly tied, when she masturbates me, they bounce up and down. It feels good when they land against my perineum. If she’s going to let me ejaculate, she usually unties them first. Sometimes all that ball bouncing is too distracting and I just can’t reach the promised land.

Friday is only the fourth day since my last orgasm. I know that Mrs. Lion wants to give me a treat for doing laundry, but I would prefer to wait a bit more. Lately, I’ve been less than interested until I reach the fourth or fifth day. Mrs. Lion has been tempted to give me an orgasm when she can finally get me that aroused. I miss the edging sessions.

I’m sure Mrs. Lion will let you know later today what happens tonight.

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