I am still not feeling well. This will drag out for a long time but sometimes I feel worse than others. Last night was one of those times. This morning I was remembering many years ago when I worked at a medical insurance company. Some of the diagnoses that came across my desk became favorites of mine. “No room at the inn”, for example, was a well person accompanying a sick person. I’d like to say it was one of the weirder ones but it’s not. My most favorite diagnosis was “malaise and fatigue”. Every time someone says “flu-like symptoms” or “it tastes like chicken” that diagnosis jumps into my mind. It feels like a catch-all phrase. Unfortunately, it describes exactly how I’ve been feeling. Also this morning, I realized that my malaise and fatigue could be exacerbated by stress at work. By the time I get home, I’m done but there’s still so much more to do.

The first thing I did last night was spank Lion with a crop he’s had for years. He said it felt lighter than the light wooden spoon I’d used the night before. I’ll have to hunt down other implements that will do the trick. I know we have others. It’s just a matter of finding them.

I made one of our Hello Fresh dinners. They’re pretty easy and when I don’t feel well it’s nice to make something I don’t really have to think about. I just follow along step by step and we have a good meal.

I forgot to change the bed over the weekend. Then I forgot till bedtime on Monday. Even though I didn’t feel at all like changing the bed, I know Lion’s allergies would continue to make him feel uncomfortable so I bit the bullet.

A while after my shower, Lion asked if I wanted to play. I told him I’d felt yucky all day. He said he’d asked how I was feeling and I said I was okay. That’s probably true. I was okay. I wasn’t great. I wasn’t bad. I was just in between. I thought I’d told him during the day that I wasn’t feeling well but maybe I didn’t. At a certain point in my long, drawn-out “flu-like symptoms” I just have to consider it business as usual and plow through. It gets old telling people you don’t feel well. It’s like the boy who cried wolf.

Before I leave work I’ll take some Tylenol so I feel a little better when I get home. I don’t think I’ll practice Lion crack swats until I find a better paddle. But I am determined to play with him, even if it’s only for a little while. I know he’s a horny boy and I want to encourage that as much as possible.

(click to view larger)

I seem to have gotten my sexual mojo back. My last orgasm was on Saturday night and on Monday I was hard and ready for Mrs. Lion’s oral attention. It felt amazing! She’s speculated that maybe my heightened libido is somehow linked to the punishment spanking I received earlier Monday evening. It’s true that thinking about being spanked turns me on. It’s also true that Monday night’s crack spanking wasn’t as painful as my usual disciplinary spanking.

most tender spanking spots
These two (circled areas) are my spanking “tenders”. They are soft, sensitive spots that react strongly to being spanked.

Monday night she focused on two areas of my derrière: what I call my “lion tenders” and my crack. These are areas that are almost always overlooked when Mrs. Lion spanks me. The tenders are soft skin at the very bottom of my ass. See the picture to the right. She pulls one side back and then spanks the other. She then pulls the freshly spanked side and pays attention to the one she was holding before. This doesn’t feel the same as swats on the rest of my bottom or my thighs.

Then she pulls my crack apart a little higher and spanks the inside as she holds one side away. This also presents me with a new and unpleasant sensation. It wasn’t too bad on Monday night. Mrs. Lion had selected a lightweight wooden spoon. I don’t know which end she used, but the most it could do was sting a little. I also thought she probably was taking it easy because she was working in new areas. She didn’t get close to my anus because her implement wasn’t narrow enough.

I think she may require me to hold my cheeks apart so that she can get better access and more swinging room. I’m pretty sure that when she finds the implement she likes for this particular portion of a spanking it will be very difficult for me to keep spreading my cheeks for her.

She brought up an interesting point. She said that she didn’t think I should enjoy any sort of spanking whether it was punishment, maintenance, or just practice. I’m not sure why she decided to say that at this particular point in time, but I believe it was prompted by the fact that I was so sexually aroused a couple of hours later.

In the past, Mrs. Lion has said that her objective during the spanking is to get my buns nice and red. I think she’s beginning to realize that this is too easy for me. I agree. I also agree that I shouldn’t enjoy maintenance or practice spankings. If the concept of corporal punishment as a form of education is to work, I have to really dislike being spanked. Period.

I wonder if she is suggesting that if I am easily sexually aroused an hour later then she has to assume the punishment was too mild. I don’t know. Perhaps. I suspect that she will adopt a different standard. I think she knows me well enough to be able to gauge how I feel after a spanking. Aside from the color of my buns, perhaps she observes how easily I go back to enjoying my evening. If I seem to just roll over with little reaction, I would think she might want to consider telling me to get back on my tummy and continue her spanking until my reaction is more appropriate.

We’ve never talked about this. Mrs. Lion never commented about the degree of this pleasure I feel after punishment. I think she’s got a point. Maybe she needs to also put me on the punishment stool as well.

When Mrs. Lion was experimenting, her term for practicing severe spankings, she didn’t worry about how I felt about my beating. As a matter of fact, those experiments were the most severe spankings she’s ever given me. If she remembers what she did, maybe that will help her take the fun out of getting my bottom swatted. Poor lion.

Two days after his orgasm and Lion was horny. I was surprised. It’s been taking him a while lately to get back into the mood. Two days is more like it was some months ago. Maybe we’re heading in the right direction. On the other hand, maybe he was horny because I swatted his buns as soon as I got home.

Yesterday he asked if I could do the punishment early. He didn’t know I’d already decided to do it super early. I wasn’t going to wait until after dinner. I wanted to do it before I got all snuggled in and comfortable. Some evenings I’m cold so I crawl into bed to get warm before I crawl back out to make dinner. None of that when I owe him a punishment. I want to get it out of the way early so I don’t forget and so I don’t have to worry about Lion snoozing.

new crop on lion's butt
This is my new crop on Lion’s butt. When he spreads wide, I can reach everything.(See image below, left)

When I grabbed the lightweight wooden spoon my hands were freezing. I warmed them a little bit on Lion’s buns before I started. I figured it was a good way to survey the area before I started whacking it. The wooden spoon might be the correct size to get into his crack but it is not heavy enough to do much damage. I’m not saying he didn’t feel it. I got him pretty rosy both inside and out. He’s asked if I want to try a different implement tonight. That’s a sure sign I didn’t do much damage last night.

Lion's tender little anus
Lion spreading himself wide for my crop. His tender anus will feel its sting.

I know Lion wants to give me practice. I also know he likes to be spanked. It may seem like he’s sacrificing his butt for my “craft” but, don’t you worry, he’s getting something out of it too. The trick is to make it less enjoyable for him. He shouldn’t ever equate maintenance or practice swats with pleasure.

Tonight I’ll give a crop a try. It can be eviler than a paddle. I think the head is small enough to get into Lion’s nooks and crannies. Plus it does a good job across his whole butt. Poor Lion.

Because he expressed interest in a good time last night, I gave him some oral attention. He was in heaven. I don’t know how close I got him but he was very unhappy when I stopped. And then he was in heaven when I started again. I started to say I gave him the better part of a blow job, but it’s the end that’s the better part. I guess it depends on your perspective. Lion loves the lead-up. I assume he likes the happy ending best but I may be wrong.

I just like to play with my food. I like the little noises he makes. I like it when he moves around and bucks trying to get me to move in a certain way. I like doing something that’s getting his motor running and then abruptly stopping so he feels just the slightest bit let down before I go back to it again. Yup. Playing with my food.

I am learning to hate a word I used to like. That word is “again”. It used to mean I could go on that amusement park ride one more time, or get another orgasm, or something else I like. It has a new meaning now. When Mrs. Lion says, “again” she is generally referring to the fact that I’ve repeated an offense.

For example, in her post the other day, she reported that I forgot to tell her that Saturday was punishment day again. We have a long-standing agreement that the best way to determine if my punishment is severe enough is whether I “learn” not to repeat the offense too soon. Most women who are disciplining wives recognize that we men tend to “forget” what we should do after a while. Exactly how long that “while” depends on the wife.

The reason this is important is that if I repeat an offense too soon, my punishment will be much more severe. The reasoning behind this is reasonable. Obviously, the initial punishment was not strong enough to teach me to avoid repeating the offense. Even though I realize this is going to hurt me quite a bit, I have to admit that I still manage to forget Saturday punishment days. I’ve been spanked for this at least four times in the last couple of months.

Okay, in the scheme of life that’s no big deal. But in terms of our relationship, it really is. It shouldn’t be very difficult for me to remember to remind Mrs. Lion. The fact that I don’t isn’t an act of defiance; I just forget. Mrs. Lion and I both agree I need to remember things I’m supposed to do. Obviously, her standard five-minute spanking hasn’t improved my memory sufficiently.

This is an odd post for me to be writing. It’s more reasonable for Mrs. Lion to be saying this. (For all I know she will write about this too.) Because I have more experience in the area of BDSM and administering spankings, I supply input to Mrs. Lion to help her learn what I know. In this case, at the safe distance of several hours away from my spanking, I have to admit that as a repeat offender I clearly need a much stronger message to help improve my memory. I know I will be very sorry I made this suggestion. It’s the right thing to do.

We are establishing habits that make sense inside our disciplinary relationship. Lioness 3.0 is perfectly capable of administering blistering spankings to me. However, 3.0 doesn’t always display the judicial judgment to increase punishment when needed. That may be one of the key attributes of 4.0.

I’ve read posts by other men who are in domestic discipline relationships as the recipients of the discipline. There is general agreement that because we asked to be put in this position we also owe our disciplining partners assistance in being as effective as possible. Some men have to be careful to self-report offenses that take place away from their wives. Some also have to help their wives develop the punishment skills needed to be effective at behavior correction.

I am committed to both. I feel it is my duty to help Mrs. Lion become the most effective disciplinarian she can be. I recognize that at the stage where we are now, this results in much unhappiness for me. I firmly believe that doesn’t matter at all. I am sure that if the level of discipline is strong enough, I will remember to avoid the offense. Even though the idea of being spanked is sexually arousing to me, my motive in encouraging more severe spankings comes from my strong desire to change.

I’m not sure who this is harder on. My lioness gets no pleasure out of beating me. In a way that’s too bad. If it turned her on a little, it would be much easier for her to escalate as required.

I think you can see that none of what we are doing is arbitrary. If the rule is trivial, it should be trivial to follow. If a rule is serious, it may be harder to follow but isn’t different in any significant way from the simpler ones. Let me explain.

The first time I do something wrong if you will, I get the “standard” five-minute spanking for it. If that is sufficient to educate me, I don’t repeat the offense and don’t earn another punishment. If I forget after a reasonable period of time, say a month, maybe I get another five-minute reminder. It doesn’t really matter whether the rule is a big one or small one. It just matters that I am punished in an effort to correct me.

The more difficult part is what happens if I repeat the offense in less time then Mrs. Lion considers a reasonable period. Up until now, that’s resulted in another five-minute spanking. I’m not trying to minimize those five-minute beatings. They are vicious. However, clearly they aren’t enough if I repeat an offense. Mrs. Lion and I agree with this concept. She has had some difficulty implementing it.

Actually, repeat offenses need two things to happen in my view: First, I need to be reminded verbally that this is a repeat and that I will be receiving a more severe punishment in an effort to help me learn. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t say this, there is a decent chance that I won’t make the association during the spanking. I’ll just think I’m more sensitive. The second point is that the spanking itself has to be significantly more severe than the normal one I receive.

After she announces that I’m being punished for a repeat offense, the ensuing spanking has to be longer and harder. The idea here is that Mrs. Lion is making it much more expensive for me to repeat breaking that particular rule. In a very real sense, the much more severe spanking moves it higher on my internal priority list. It really is an attitude adjustment.

I think that people who come from a corporal punishment background know this instinctively. They recognize that there has to be a certain minimum level of unhappiness and pain for any punishment, but there also has to be significant enhancements when repeatedf disobedience requires it.

This principle makes it easier for Mrs. Lion. She’s often commented about the inherent unfairness of severely spanking me for something I didn’t realize was a rule. She thought the first offense should be a warning. I’ve always disagreed. I think the first offense earns the standard spanking. She knows I can manage this and that it makes enough of an impression on me that I will generally work to change my behavior.

All bets are off if I make a repeat appearance. That first five-minute spanking was a very graphic warning. Clearly, it wasn’t enough to get my full attention. That’s why I say it doesn’t really matter which rule is broken repeatedly. Obviously, some of them will upset her more than others. But in terms of my learning to be obedient, repeat offenses are defiance. Even if I think I “forgot”, we both know that I am supposed to tell her on Saturday that it is punishment day. The fact that I do it more than once — at least four times in the last two months — means I clearly need to be reminded that it is completely unacceptable behavior.

Mrs. Lion and I both spent a lot of time agonizing over the relative degree of different offenses. For example, how can we think that me spilling some salsa on my shirt equates to me interrupting her? After all, I can spill something on my shirt without intending to. Spilling doesn’t really hurt Mrs. Lion’s feelings. Interrupting her upsets her and seems to be a much more serious issue.

In the scheme of life it is. But in terms of a disciplinary relationship I’m starting to believe that the two offenses are very similar. I can generally avoid getting food on my clothes if I eat carefully. Once in a while I’ll slip up. If that “once in a while” isn’t that frequent, then I will earn the standard five-minute reminder to watch myself. If I do it too often, that I need a much stronger reminder. That isn’t because getting food on my shirt is a big deal. It’s because I’m not taking a rule seriously enough.

The same is true if I interrupt Mrs. Lion if I do it only occasionally, she might consider a five-minute reminder sufficient. If it happens more often, or if I take an attitude about it, then clearly I’m asking for a much more meaningful expression of her displeasure.

I’m starting to realize that it doesn’t really matter what the regulation I’m breaking is about. Anything I do that causes her displeasure deserves a warning. In our world, a warning is not a growl, it’s a five-minute spanking. I think this is completely fair. It guarantees I will pay close attention to “mistakes” I make. It also assures that I am focused on Mrs. Lion and how she is feeling.

I know this will result in a much freer applications of her paddle. I think that will be good for both of us. I’m hoping she will also begin using it at different times of day. If it’s possible to use it immediately after I do something that requires warning or correction, I hope she will take advantage of the opportunity.

If she uses the word “again”, I know I’m in trouble. Or I should say, I will know I’m in trouble. Punishment is a funny thing. It isn’t truly effective until it’s demonstrated. Unfortunately for me, it’s probably going to be demonstrated later today (I’m writing this on Monday late morning). As you know from her post the other day, I forgot “again”. I expect I will learn to avoid requiring her to use that word very often in the future.