Over time I keep learning new things about wearing a male chastity device. I’ve written a lot about the obvious stuff: orgasm control, masturbation prevention, etc. There is a lot more to the story. I admit that I get aroused thinking about wearing a male chastity device. Even now, after years of wearing one, it’s still an exciting concept. Let’s face it, this is probably the motivation any male has when he asks to be locked.
I’ve discovered a more subtle value. When I’m wild (What Mrs. Lion calls it when I’m not locked in a chastity device), I often have some difficulty getting erect when Mrs. Lion starts massaging my penis. I’ve noticed that when she unlocks me, I begin getting hard even before she touches me. In the past, I figured that this was due to the fact I was horny and couldn’t wait to be edged.
Since she started locking me up again only recently, I’ve had several opportunities to experience getting aroused after a week or two of teasing. When I’m wild, it takes a while for Mrs. Lion to get my motor running. This is true even after two weeks of teasing. Since she locked me into my male chastity device, I’m erect almost instantly. Her first touches on the underside of my penis are amazing. I don’t experience anything like this when I’ve been wild.
I think it’s because my male chastity device prevents any touching. My penis is protected from my fingers, towels, even clothing when I’m allowed to wear them. It seems that this isolation increases my sensitivity. The male chastity device I wear is very comfortable. It’s made of light, medical-grade nylon. Most of the time, I’m not aware I’m wearing it. That means my penis isn’t aware something is covering it.
If the male chastity device didn’t fit perfectly, there could be sore spots or even slightly irritated spots on the sensitive skin of my penis. I’ve experienced this with some of the off-the-shelf devices I’ve tried. The one I’m wearing now feels like it’s not even there. But it is. And when Mrs. Lion unlocks me, she has an untouched canvas to stimulate.
I don’t think I would’ve noticed this phenomenon earlier in my experience. As I think back, this is been going on since the very start of my male chastity. I just thought my increased sensitivity was due to the fact that I was very horny after being locked up. It never occurred to me to test this theory. Only after spending considerable time without wearing a male chastity device, did I recognize the very different pattern of my responsiveness when I wear a male chastity device.
Mrs. Lion takes me out of my device almost every night. This arousal effect happens every single time she does. It doesn’t seem to have much to do with how long I’ve been in the cage. It appears to be the result of sensory deprivation for my penis.
This makes sense. The penis has a lot of nerve endings connected to the sexual arousal center of the brain. Contact between these sensors and fingers, clothing, etc. must desensitize many of these nerve endings. If they weren’t less sensitive, we would end up being aroused any time there was physical contact with the penis, sexual or otherwise.
When the sensitive areas of the penis are shielded from this sort of contact, they seem to regain sensitivity. I think that’s why Mrs. Lion’s first touches under the head of my penis are so amazingly exciting. I’m circumcised and I think that has a lot to do with this. An uncircumcised male has protective skin covering the frenum (that sensitive spot). The foreskin protects it from casual contact. When the circumcised male gets erect, the foreskin retracts and the frenum is available for stimulation.
Perhaps my male chastity device functions as a locking foreskin. It protects the sensitive area from nonsexual contact. Of course, I’m only guessing. I don’t have a foreskin and I have no real idea of how it works. I do know that at least for now, my male chastity device makes me much more sexually sensitive to Mrs. Lion.
I thought I had the perfect idea for playing last night. We haven’t used the Magic Wand in a long time. I wondered how Lion would react since he’s very horny. It may have been a perfect idea, but a better idea would have been to make sure it was charged.
On the fly, I decided to swat Lion’s balls. He hates that but conceded that it was better than my other idea of Icy Hot. He definitely would have hated that even more. However, I think he might have been more excited. That’s not exactly true though. My weenie was very hard when I started sucking him. He just lost some of his oomph along the way. I knew Lion was enjoying himself and would have gotten to the edge eventually, but I was sweating and tired. I had to stop. He said he liked it a lot when I was giving him a handjob while I was swatting him. Maybe the Magic Wand will live up to its name later.
While I was working on Lion last night, I was debating whether he should have an orgasm or not. I can see the arguments for and against. I guess it will all depend on how things are going when I get him to the edge. I had high hopes for last night when he was so hard. I’d like to test the theory that he’ll get horny more quickly if I lock him right back up after orgasm. But is that enough of a reason to give him one?
I know there’s no absolute rule to consult. We’re just making this stuff up on the fly. Lion probably both wants and doesn’t want to come depending on how excited he is at the moment. Closer to the edge I’d assume he wants to be put out of his misery. Of course, that might make me less inclined to allow it. Or not. I love giving him orgasms.
It’s been a while since I’ve answered reader questions. Here are some from our Contact Us mailbag.
Pregnancy and maintaining a FLR
“I have a question for the both of you, what is your take on the Female led marriage regarding pregnancy? My wife is about to give birth to our first child and I don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on her. Should we pause it for now? or discuss some “guidelines”?
Pregnancy can be an all-consuming process for a woman. Her body and mind are undergoing changes. She probably has pregnancy-related mood swings as well. If your FLR is well established and she feels comfortable in her role, then there is no reason to stop. On the other hand, if you are pushing her to be/stay in charge, then it makes sense to leave her alone and let her decide what she wants to do.
Very often when a guy mentions “guidelines” it’s a way of trying to get her to do something he wants. I asked Mrs. Lion to become my disciplinary wife. We had/have lots of discussions about what that means. She decides what she wants to do. Right now your wife has to focus on the upcoming birth of your baby. She really doesn’t need you to add another child — you — to the mix. You may have to wait quite a while after the baby is born to discuss those guidelines.
spank me at least once a week
“My partner and I are just starting our FLR with DD. She hesitates to discipline me even though I need at least a weekly spanking. Any suggestions?”
How do you know you need at least a weekly spanking? It sounds to me like you want BDSM spanking play more than an FLR. The purpose of punishment in domestic discipline is to correct behavioral problems, not meet a sexually-motivated need for spanking. It’s important to understand this before going forward.
Mrs. Lion learned to spank me for BDSM play. It took her a long time to get to the point that the spanking was effective. We started our FLRD quite a while after she was comfortable swatting my bottom. Even so it took her quite a while to punish me effectively.
Talk with her. Separate your need for spanking from the DD. If she is comfortable spanking you for play, she will have less trouble punishing you. We made the transition with simple rules that Mrs. Lion created. They were concrete with no underlying emotional content. I was punished for spilling food on my shirt and for eating before Mrs. Lion started. These infractions are easy to spot and punishing them has no emotional value. It worked for us. Your results may vary.
split-base-ring male chastity devices
“My lady and I are shopping…and I am trying to find the right combination of features, etc. for my first cock cage. Your 1″ Bird Cage looks perfect…but I want to make sure that I get a hinged base ring. It seems for really short cages they are all solid. What company has a decent selection based on features like length, size, and ring style/size?”
Hinged rings are disappearing fast. Even the cheapest Chinese male chastity devices are featuring solid base rings. There’s a good reason for this: hinged rings hurt. That little space needed to allow the hinge to work will irritate your scrotum. That’s why cages that have split base rings usually come with a short piece of latex tubing. The idea is to use it to cover the hinge and help prevent irritation. It doesn’t work.
A properly-sized, solid base ring is very comfortable to wear. I would guess that you want a very tight base ring. There is no reason to get a super tight fit. Your base ring should fit comfortably. It shouldn’t need lube to make it comfortable to wear. In terms of recommending a company to sell you a device, do a search on this site for “review”. It will point you to the reviews we have written.
Several days ago I started taking Prevagen to see if I could improve my brain function. Ironically, that’s about the time I started having headaches and a foggier brain. Headache is one of the side effects so I didn’t take it this morning. I’m hoping the headache and fog wear off today. I certainly don’t need any help having trouble thinking.
Yesterday, Lion told me I need to stand my ground. If I want him to have an orgasm, he should have an orgasm. He doesn’t want to influence me. I think that ship has sailed. How can he not influence me? Everything from what’s for breakfast (he wanted English muffins and I wanted bagels) to when he should have an orgasm (he thinks he should wait). But the hardest part right now is the brain fog and headache. I just don’t care what we have for breakfast or when he has an orgasm. Concepts more involved than where I parked the car are not something I want to deal with right now. Should he be spanked for asking for the cage to be put on? Fog. Do I want fries with that? Fog. We didn’t play last night because of my head. I’m determined to play tonight regardless of what it feels like.
Lion was complaining (not annoyingly) that he was itchy near the cage. I’ll have to unlock him before he takes a shower so he can make sure to clean under it. And then I’ll leave it off till we play. Yes, I trust him. I’m sure he can make it a few hours without the cage. If I have to put it back on after the shower, it will stay on until tomorrow. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.
We haven’t been using the Box O’Fun. When we play, we’ve been coming up with our own ideas of what to do. This is fine. This is great, actually. As long as we keep going with it, we don’t need the box. It’s just there to make sure we don’t stall out. Sometimes doing the same things over and over can get boring. Yes, I said I get bored sometimes. That’s what I meant all those years ago when I said things could get boring. Tie up the balls, clothespins, tie up the balls, butt plug, tie up the balls, clothespins. Boring. When we leave it to chance, there’s an element of danger. Oh no, will he get Icy Hot this time? Come on butt plug!! Damn! Tiny clothespins. Also, by asking Lion if he has a preference, I’m allowing him to avoid something he’s really not in the mood for. Is he ever in the mood for Icy Hot? Maybe not, but I’m sure there are times he’s more open to it.
The key to all of this is to have fun. If we don’t change it up from time to time, it can get to be less fun. Dare I say, boring? Lion’s already said he’s bored with handjobs. That was a blanket statement. I’m sure if I threw one in every once in a while he’d be fine with it. Soon he may tire of blow jobs. I try to keep them interesting. A little extra pressure there. Maybe a little more suction. Slower strokes. I like to try to perfect my technique. I’m sure Lion appreciates it. [Lion — I do!!!]