Lion was interested in sex last night. I wasn’t sure at first because my weenie was sort of hard but not getting any harder. That could go either way. When I asked, he said he was definitely interested. Good. I sucked him for a while. I know he was enjoying himself. I don’t think he got anywhere near the edge, but all that matters is that he had fun. I didn’t expect him to have an orgasm. When I noticed it had been six days since his orgasm, he said that it wasn’t long at all. He certainly wasn’t jump-out-of-his-skin horny.
Tonight we’re heading for Costco. The dog needs her drug, and Lion has a prescription at the grocery store. I don’t know when we’ll get home, so I can’t predict any play. I do know he’s still flirting with a “just because” spanking. He almost earned himself a real spanking. As I was making dinner, I noticed that the carafe for the coffee maker was still in the dish drainer. How did he manage to put a filter and water in and forget the carafe? I asked if he was distracted. I wasn’t going to punish him for halfway doing it, although it would have made a huge mess if it started its automatic cycle without the carafe in there. He said he spilled water and was trying to wipe it up before it got all over the place. That’s definitely a valid reason for being distracted.
It doesn’t really matter what he gets spanked for. A “just because” spanking is pretty much the same as a punishment spanking in severity. I guess the only real difference is his knowledge that he did something to deserve the punishment. Oh, and he has a better idea of when it’s coming. The “just because” spanking is hanging over his head at the moment. Could it be tonight? Maybe. It could just as easily be tomorrow. Or not. I wonder if that’s worse.
In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion discussed a subject that has confused me for years. She pointed out that I get sexual about being spanked. It is a turn-on to think about a spanking. She said,
“I wondered if punishing him is more for him than me. He keeps saying I should assert my power. Am I really, though? I mean, he likes (the idea of) spanking. I’m not saying he deliberately does things to get punished. I’m just wondering if I’m not rewarding him for being bad…He likes being spanked even if he knows (or maybe because he knows) he won’t be able to sit for a day or two.”
I can understand why she might feel this way. Based on my reading, men who are in disciplinary relationships are sexually attracted to being spanked. I certainly am. Mrs. Lion posited that maybe she should do things I truly hate, like ignoring me or withholding sex. Well, I don’t get enough sex to provide her with many incentives. Instead of waiting for ten days, will I have to wait for twenty? That could be effective but severely limits opportunities to punish me. I’m not saying she shouldn’t do this, but it has obvious limitations.
I wonder if other wives also feel that spanking a naughty husband is more of a reward than a punishment. I think that it can be. That’s why a punishment spanking has to be painful and unpleasant. The reason I asked Mrs. Lion to punish me as needed came from sexual curiosity. The inherent attraction to spanking makes me docilely present my butt for punishment.
We both know that sexual interest helps suppress any defiance I might feel. After all, I want to be spanked since the idea really turns me on. So far, it sounds like Mrs. Lion is right. If Mrs. Lion spanked me for a short time or didn’t try to hurt me, it could be a sexual experience. However, she doesn’t do that. After she warms me up, she makes sure that she is hurting me. I hate it. Yet, the stupid lion that I am, a day later, the memory is a sort of a turn-on.
The question is whether the spanking causes me to change my behavior? To my surprise, it does. One of my first rules was that I have to wait for Mrs. Lion to start eating or give me permission before I begin. In the beginning, I got at least one or two spankings a week when I forgot. I seldom eat first. I think I have been punished once for this in the last three years. Spanking works. It isn’t a permanent solution. Another rule is that I have to set up the coffee pot, ready for Mrs. Lion in the morning. I still forget to do that. When I do, I get punished. The spanking serves as a strong reminder to remember. I need that reminder on a fairly regular basis.
The point is that even though I am sexually attracted to spanking, it still works as an effective punishment. In a sense, a punishment spanking is too much of a good thing. When we first started using spanking to punish me, I suggested that Mrs. Lion could get a guide on how severely to spank me based on how well I changed my behavior. At the time, Mrs. Lion didn’t take that advice. More recently, she’s been very willing to make my spankings more severe. At this point, she follows the DWC guide and spanks me for ten minutes if I break one rule. If there are additional offenses, she adds five more minutes for each one.
Even though I know that a spanking will leave me with a bruised, painful bottom, I still have that sexual connection. The connection is not strong enough to make me actively seek out punishment. However, if I go more than a couple of weeks without a spanking, my interest in sex seems to fall off a bit. Mrs. Lion changes too. If she doesn’t spank me regularly, she seems to forget to notice any rules I might break.
I’m sure that if Mrs. Lion starts punishing me for interrupting her, she will develop the disciplinary habit that will train me to avoid that irritating behavior. I think the reason that spanking works is that it underlines the offense. I remember how unhappy I was because I forgot to set up the coffee pot. So, setting up the coffee pot stays in the front of my mind. If I start to push it back and forget to do it, I get a fresh reminder.
It works. Yes, being spanked provides me with sexual fuel. It also makes me remember to do or not do whatever it was that earned me all that pain. Go figure!
Lion was awake after my shower. We snuggled, and I played with my weenie. He made purring noises when it felt good, but my weenie never fully woke up. Lion has been tired lately. It makes sense that sex may not be at the forefront of his mind. He might not have been feeling well either. Maybe he needs a swift kick in the ass (a spanking) to get him moving.
I know he loves the idea of a spanking, and I promise he’ll get one soon. I’m just not going to tell him when. Of course, the longer I wait, the greater the chance that he’ll earn a punishment spanking. He’s not a saint. He’ll screw up sooner or later. Actually, I have enough to punish him for right now. He’s been interrupting me quite a bit lately. I’ve just been raising my voice to be heard over him. [Lion — I thought I would be punished for interrupting. I don’t really notice when you raise your voice.]
As I typed that, I wondered if punishing him is more for him than me. He keeps saying I should assert my power. Am I really, though? I mean, he likes (the idea of) spanking. I’m not saying he deliberately does things to get punished. I’m just wondering if I’m not rewarding him for being bad. I guess maybe I just figured out the “why.” What drives him to want me to be in charge? Why would he present his butt when I tell him to? Duh. He likes being spanked even if he knows (or maybe because he knows) he won’t be able to sit for a day or two. [Lion — I mentioned that in my post this morning. The odd but true fact is that being consistently punished does change my behavior. When was the last time I ate first? Spilled on my shirt? Forgot coffee? ]
With that in mind, wouldn’t a better punishment be withdrawal of sexual contact or even the dreaded silent treatment? He would hate both. Or is that too vindictive? If I were really a tyrant, I certainly wouldn’t give him what he wants as punishment. Then again, if I were really a tyrant, he probably wouldn’t be with me to begin with, and he definitely wouldn’t want me to have power over him.
Lion is very lucky I’m not a tyrant. I’ve got just enough mean to be able to spank him and more than nice enough to be able to stop before I seriously hurt him. Even if he doesn’t break a rule in the next few days, I see a spanking in his future.
Have you noticed that I write more about sex when the time since my last orgasm starts getting long? The same is true with spanking. I write more posts about being spanked as time since my last spanking gets longer. Is this a way to indirectly ask to ejaculate or get a sore bottom? Perhaps. At the least, it shows that my thoughts are moving in those directions.
There’s a strong connection between writing about being spanked and about ejaculating. Both are sexual. One of the more embarrassing ironies in the way I’m wired is that I get aroused thinking about being spanked. I’m very aware that when Mrs. Lion spanks me, it’s a long, painful, bruising experience. I hate it when she spanks me. Nevertheless, I get turned on thinking about it. If thinking about it didn’t turn me on, it would be more difficult to convince me to get in position and take it.
OK, that’s not entirely true. Once I form the disciplinary habit, I get into position and accept the spanking without any sexual component. Those of us in a disciplinary marriage have learned that we must accept domestic discipline as our wives require. It’s conditioning. It’s well established that the disciplined male initiates domestic discipline. In my case, the sexual excitement of thinking about being spanked drove me to ask Mrs. Lion to spank me. This same sexual energy causes me to encourage her to become stricter, even now.
All this sexual interest doesn’t cause me to disobey my disciplining wife consciously. I work hard to avoid punishment. We both know that I need regular “just because” punishment spankings if I don’t earn any through specific offenses. Mrs. Lion decides when one is needed.
I get very aroused when I think about Mrs. Lion teasing me and not letting me ejaculate. When she gets me to the edge, all I can think about is coming. I want it more than anything. She stops, and I’m left hanging. She does it again and again. When she finally stops, I don’t try to finish myself. I lie there panting. It makes no more sense than getting aroused thinking about being spanked.
We’ve been doing this for years. It’s natural and expected in our marriage. It works for both of us. It may not make sense to other people. It doesn’t have to. We both recognize the ironies. We are happily different.