There are times I wish I had a sex drive. Generally I don’t care. But I’d like to have something to compare to Lion’s sex drive. Maybe I’d just like to be in his brain for a while to understand why he needs sex so badly. I know there’s a difference between men and women in terms of sex drives. Even at my horniest times, I didn’t often masturbate.

Here’s my problem: We decided to do Unlocktober and agreed to orgasms every other day. That, in itself, is not the problem. The problem is that I have the monumental task of unpacking still ongoing. We’ve thrown in some electrical wiring and putting things together and mounting a towel rack, etc. that seem to take far longer than they need to. I’m finding this whole process to be exhausting. I’m achy and nearing the end of my rope. However, we agreed to Unlocktober and orgasms every other day and Lion is a very sexual animal and I feel like I’m letting him down if I beg off giving him orgasms. On the other hand, I feel like I’m letting him down by not unpacking as fast as I think I should be unpacking.

What I do know is that I’m constantly tired, I’ve had an on-again-off-again headache for about a week and a half, and I get snippy when Lion reminds me off things that still need to be done. As I was giving him his hand job last night, I wondered how long it would be before he reminds me he needs to be waxed. He does, but that’s not on the urgent end of my list. Actually, my list goes something like this: get the house unpacked enough to be livable, a day off for me, sex for Lion, and then a lot of chores including waxing Lion.

I’ve been lusting after a day off for me for about a month. I mean a true day off. No chores. No decisions. Put me in a bubble and do not disturb until 24 hours have elapsed. Me time. Of course it doesn’t have to be that strict. I just want a day that I don’t have to do anything pressing. No unpacking. No rewiring the bathroom. I just want to vegetate for the better part of a day. Maybe it will be a Sunday watching every football game available.

It’s quite possible that my day off could somehow equate to Lion’s sex drive. Am I horny for one?

[Lion — She’s right. Mrs. Lion has been feeling enormous amounts of pressure brought on by the overwhelming amount of work that needs to be done. It hasn’t been all work, however. Mrs. Lion takes frequent breaks that I hope helps her recharge. However, I think that each time she sits down and plays on her iPad, she feels guilty that she’s not doing something more “useful”. Yesterday, we got quite a bit done. I thought that it went well. However, Mrs. Lion wanted to do a few other things that she didn’t get to. I don’t see any problem with that. We need to make steady progress, but we have no deadline to get each item completed.

Unlocktober is an invention of mine and we don’t have to actually follow my rules. It may be that this isn’t the year for it. I’m okay if we don’t try to play that game. Yes I’m a sexual creature. I love the attention I’m getting. I also understand that my sweet lioness needs time to herself.]

You can always tell how interested I am in sex by what I write. I’m sure I will not shock you if I tell you that I’ve been thinking about sex. Even though we are celebrating Unlocktober, we haven’t quite kept up with our every-other-day pace of orgasms. Saturday night, we started late and while Mrs. Lion worked valiantly pumping my penis with her hand, I got very hard but I just couldn’t get past that plateau. She’s resolved to keep trying.

Meanwhile, my thoughts have been drifting rearward. My antasies are remembrances of my own anal experiences. For a while, Mrs. Lion was working to expand, so to speak, my anal horizon. She was using a combination of fingers, butt plugs, and ever-increasing-in-diameter dildos.

For me, anal penetration creates an interesting set of sensations. First, the cold, gentle caress of lube being applied around the rim of my asshole. Then, a few seconds later, the gentle-yet- firm press of my lioness’ finger as she parts my puckered hole. That first intrusion is a little painful. I have to breathe and try to relax as she penetrates me. Mrs. Lion prefers using her bare fingers. If I ask, she will wear a glove. I know she prefers skin-to-skin contact.

Once she gets her finger fully inside me, she often leaves that there for a bit to allow me to get used to it. Then she will move her finger in and out. That motion is a combination of uncomfortable and exciting. I know my next anal visitor won’t be as easy to accept. Next, she will fill a little syringe with lube and insert it in my ass, releasing the lube inside. She may repeat this. When she’s satisfied that I’m slippery enough, she will lube the tip and body of a medium-sized butt plug. Then, with no further delay, I feel it pressing against me, sliding inside and stretching me. Initially, it’s not too bad. Before long though it starts to hurt.

Often, that means the lube had rubbed off and I was hitting a dry spot. Mrs. Lion will partially remove the plug, add a little bit more lube and continue pressing. Eventually, she reaches the shoulders of the plug where the diameter becomes much smaller. At that point I feel a sharp pain and then breathe a sigh of relief that the plug is firmly inside.

Often, this is where things end. She’ll leave the plug parked in my ass for a couple of hours, and then remove it and wipe away the lube. Other times, she will leave it in for a little bit and then remove it. She will then use one of my dildos and replace the butt plug with the silicone penis. This is followed by a slow in and out as she lets me get used to the feeling of being fucked.

This is always uncomfortable. If she leaves the dildos fully inserted it will begin to feel comfortable after a minute or two. Moving it in and out doesn’t really feel good to me. It isn’t so bad that I want her to stop. I just wish it would feel better. She picks up speed. It’s very intense for me. Sometimes she pulls the dildos all the way out and then immediately pushes it back in. At first, I really hate that sensationn. After she persists I start to get used to it. She picks up more speed pounding harder and pulling the dildos completely out after almost every stroke. I grunt and work hard to stay open and accepting. Sometimes I can’t and I ask her to slow down or stop. She usually listens to me.

In a way this is a problem. She reasons that she is doing this for me. So if I don’t like it and ask her to stop, she should do it. The reason that is something I would like to see changed is that I want to learn to be able to take it. There have to be times when I really want that discomfort to end. I know that if it does, I’m not going to learn. It would be easier for me if I didn’t have to avoid asking to stop. If my protests were ignored as a way of helping me grow, I think it would be a better experience for me.

We used to work on training me to take Mrs. Lion’s entire hand. We stopped. I would like to try that again. I read that some people use butt plugs a little differently. Instead of inserting them and leaving them in place, they use them in a similar way to how Mrs. Lion uses the dildos: they move it in and out forcing the anus to expand and contract with every stroke. This has to feel horrible at first, but I can see the value in this exercise. Forcing the expansion and contraction over and over is a very good way to train me to be able to relax more. If I can learn to just stay open, the in-and-out motion could become enjoyable. More importantly, learning to relax the anal sphincter muscles will make it much easier for me to accept Mrs. Lion’s hand.

I had a friend back east who was seriously into fisting men. No, she never had a chance to try fisting me. We talked about it once in a while and she told me that it normally takes about 45 minutes with a beginner. She didn’t use any tools. She just worked with her fingers. She claimed that by patiently and persistently working in one finger at a time, she could always get her entire hand up any man’s ass. I can see how it could take at least 45 minutes. My limited experience is that it takes patience to give me the time to relax at each step.

I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those guys who can get off while being pegged or fisted. I doubt I’ll even be able to get hard while that’s going on. But there’s something emotionally satisfying about having to learn to accept whatever Mrs. Lion chooses to insert. Even though I know I will be uncomfortable, I always feel closer to her after each session.

The fantasies are really simple and easy to understand. They boil down to me (the male) obeying a woman (the female – Mrs. Lion). She tells me what to do (generally sexual orders which I like) and I obey.

There are lots of details that need to be filled in, of course. In enforced male chastity, the big detail, at least initially, is locking the male’s penis in the chastity device and refusing to let him ejaculate for some time. Again, there are lots of sexy details the fantasizer can fill in.

To make this fantasy plausible, details are added that are believed to make this transaction more attractive to a female. The most common one is that the male takes his frustration and uses it to supply his keyholder with endless altruistic orgasms. He learns to get his sexual pleasure by pleasing her.

Yeah, it’s a good fantasy. The reality can’t be anything like it. For one thing, even before being locked into a chastity device, he should have been willing to give his perspective keyholder all the sex she wants. There aren’t many women who want to believe that they have to coerce their partners into pleasing them.

If trading sex for chastity isn’t a good motive for a keyholder to do it, the fantasy is left with only one other reasonable possibility: he does it because it’s fun for her to watch him suffer. There are certainly women who would agree for this reason. I don’t think there are that many, but they do exist. As a male I’m not sure I want a partner who has too much fun making me suffer. Life could get pretty unpleasant.

As I discovered, the reality is a good deal more complicated than the fantasy. What a surprise! I’m very lucky that my wife and keyholder is agreeable enough to give things I want to do a try.

Our beginning was very simple. I had purchased some inexpensive, Chinese chastity devices. I tested each one briefly (only an hour or two) and found one that seemed reasonably comfortable. I went to Mrs. Lion and explained my fantasy. She agreed to lock me up and Chinese cage went on again, this time with her having the keys.

After that, there was a lot of trial and error. Initially, Mrs. Lion decided that if she controlled if and when I could ejaculate, she would make me ejaculate every day. This variation on the chastity theme never occurred to me before she said that. We tried it and I found myself exhausted after only a few days.

We talked about the subject again and this time she agreed to make me wait until I was thoroughly frustrated. He also agreed to unlock me for teasing (edging) at least every other day. Most often, I got some daily exercise. That was it. It was no exchanging sex for her or me doing additional housework. Enforced male chastity for us consisted solely of sexual control of me. Now, six years later, that is still the case.

Is the hardware needed?
The fantasy dwells on secure hardware needed to prevent escape. The idea is that if the male can extricate himself, he can masturbate to orgasm. In a way this makes complete sense. The chastity device is a form of bondage. Bondage is designed to restrain the person wearing it and removing any possibility of them escaping.

I admit it; I like bondage. It’s exciting to be restrained. The idea that I’m wearing a device around my penis that I can’t take off, and prevents me from getting erect or ejaculating, is a big turn on. It’s far less exciting to think about being wild (no chastity device on my penis) and restraining myself out of obedience.

In the beginning (the first three years), I lived in a chastity device. I was wild only under supervision of Mrs. Lion. I really liked this. I had to become wild for a while due to some major surgery and the long recovery afterward.

The three years of wearing a chastity device successfully trained me to not masturbate. Let me explain: I never compulsively jerked off. But I did masturbate a couple of times a week before we began enforced male chastity. Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex some years before that. She did get me off every month or so. I filled in with my hand in between.

She made one very important rule at the time I was first locked up: I was never to jerk off. It turned out that she had no idea I masturbated. Chastity or no chastity, she detests the idea of me getting myself off. He believes that she is the sole person who can make me ejaculate.

I never imagined she would feel this way. Over the first few months of being locked in a chastity device, I explored this issue with her. In her mind, jerking off is just a little bit less serious and having sex with another woman. She believes that as my wife he and only she can get me off. Anything else is cheating.

I’m not sure that I would have been 100% faithful to that if I wasn’t locked in a chastity device. I’ve always considered jerking off be a harmless way to relieve tension. I never even thought about it in the context of it being sex.

I think Mrs. Lion was right. Fidelity should extend to any means that brings me to ejaculate. She never masturbated while we were married, why should I?

When I was wild for months on end during my recovery, it never occurred to me to jerk off. Of course, I was really uncomfortable in the beginning. As the drugs wore off and the pain disappeared, I got some erections and felt the need to get off. My hand strayed between my legs and helped my erection along. I never kept at it enough to even get to the edge of orgasm. I didn’t think about it; I just didn’t do it.

Those three years of wearing a chastity device condition me. I only associate ejaculation with Mrs. Lion providing stimulation. Yes, I can generally get myself hard if I want, but I’ve never even been tempted to go any further.

I think the chastity device is necessary when beginning enforced male chastity. The male needs to be conditioned away from the idea that he can get himself off. If I had read this when we first started, I consider it nonsense. I believed that I would always have the ability and the desire jerk off. I’ve been doing it since I was 11 years old. I imagined that I would do it for the rest of my life. I also believed that the only way to be completely sure I wouldn’t revert, was to keep my penis safely locked away.

Pleasuring myself wasn’t an easy habit to break. It required a 100% consistent approach that made getting myself off nearly impossible. The chastity device did that. During that time I wore a Mature Metal Jail Bird. This custom device, when properly fitted, absolutely does the job.

We both learned something important during those first three years: Consistency, absolute consistency, is required to extinguish such a deeply embedded behavior like masturbation. The combination of chastity device and Mrs. Lion’s determination extinguished my ability to masturbate.

We didn’t intend this as a social experiment. It was simply Mrs. Lion expressing an important requirement and then absolutely enforcing it until it became part of me.

Since that time, we’ve begun a much more comprehensive power exchange. Mrs. Lion uses the knowledge she gained training me to never masturbate to train me in other areas. These other areas oranges simple to control. But the principal needed to train me is the same: To train me she must consistently observe and correct any behavior she wants me to change.

He costs there is no physical way to prevent me from disobeying, she uses punishment as her primary corrective tool. If I disobey or misbehave, I received a series of painful spankings. The number of spankings I get for a given offense depends on how serious Mrs. Lion feels my misbehavior was. It also depends on whether this is a repeat offense or not.

For example, if I spill food on my shirt (I can be a sloppy eater), the penalty is three spankings, delivered one each day for three days. If I repeat that offense within a reasonable amount of time — how much time is completely up to Mrs. Lion — the punishment will be more than three days of spankings. It might be four or five. The idea is that I clearly didn’t learn with only three days of spanking. Therefore I need more time being paddled to correct my behavior.

This method of training me evolved over the last three years of our expanded power exchange. Because I get turned on by being spanked, there was always the risk that a spanking for making a rule would be more fun for me than a punishment. Also, there was no good way to differentiate between minor offenses and more serious ones.

Mrs. Lion tried varying the intensity of spankings based on the seriousness of my offense. That didn’t work. Less severe spankings turn into being more fun for me than punishment. I suggested that all spankings be equally severe and that Mrs. Lion sentence me to a series of spankings, the number of which varied based on the severity and recidivism of my offense.

This works very well. There is no chance I will be having fun for very long if I have to endure the minimum of three spankings for any offense. The first one, even if very painful, could still be interpreted as more BDSM than real punishment. The second and third, administered to an already-sore bottom, would certainly not be exciting on any level. I find myself actively dreading those additional spankings.

I’m not claiming that starting out with enforced male chastity will invariably lead couples to extended power exchanges. For most the chastity device and male frustration are a form of sexual play. There’s nothing wrong with that. Some women are very comfortable with their partners jerking off. They may even allow their male partner to masturbate after being locked up.

What we do is what works for us. I don’t advocate others imitating our methods. If anything you read resonates with you, by all means use our experience to help you perfect your power exchange.

Lion had a doctor appointment yesterday afternoon. On the way home we picked up a belated birthday cake and then decided to have dinner at a nearby casino. We had coupons for a free buffet dinner. We like the casino because of the flashing lights and musical machines. We also like to people watch. The outfits alone are entertaining.

Needless to say we didn’t get home in time for Lion fun. At least Lion sex fun. He has a different kind of fun at the casino. We had to shower to get the cigarette smoke and casino perfume out of our hair. And then we watched some TV. Oh yeah. We are party animals!

Today we’re putting in a new thermostat, connecting Lion’s computer to all of his peripherals, installing a towel rack, and maybe unpacking more stuff. Boring. I know. But I’ll make sure we save some energy for Unlocktober. Lion’s probably very horny again. It’s been a few days, after all.

Right now we’re off to Home Depot to find a tool that Lion doesn’t already have. That amazes me. I was pretty sure he had every tool ever invented. And then we’re back for more fun getting the house set up. I know you’re jealous. Who wouldn’t want to have this much fun?