Back Home With Lion

I’m home! Yay! I’m tired and I’d rather not be at work, but I’m happy to be back with Lion. I wish I could say I slept better in my own bed but I never usually sleep that well anyway. The most important thing is that we’re together again.

When I came out of the shower last night I cut the lock off Lion’s cage. I had no plans to play with him but I felt it was important to let him loose. We snuggled for a long time but I never made any attempt to touch my weenie. I didn’t want to start something I couldn’t finish. We’ll probably play tonight.

Despite it being such a long flight I wish I could visit more often. I half-jokingly said I’d be back in four years for my daughter’s college graduation. I think it’s been six years since I went to the east coast for something other than meeting Lion when he’s on a business trip so I’m probably not far off in my estimate.

I know Lion has been talking about what might be in store for him once I got back. I haven’t really thought about it. Since I’m tired I don’t think I’m in any position to decide his future. I’m just looking forward to getting back to playing and we’ll go from there. Besides, I tend to make these big sweeping statement about how things will be and then I let them fall apart. I’m trying not to get Lion’s hopes up without being able to back it up.

Don’t Make It Too Real

Enforced male chastity isn’t a social or political cause for me. I also don’t believe in the biological superiority of women. I don’t believe men have that advantage either. A lot of people agree with this. They usually reason that since neither sex is superior, then both are equal. The feminism movement is the political expression of this belief.

Our readers tend to believe that female dominance is the natural order of things. Controlling us unruly males is the key to happiness. I’m sure it isn’t. I believe that enforced equality (feminism) is as artificial as female superiority or, for that matter, male superiority. They are artifacts of intellectual concepts. As such, there are millions of words written justifying each. I don’t believe in these artificial constructs

Trying to make reality fit into these boxes ruins many wonderful relationships. You may wonder why I, a guy locked in a chastity device who gets punished for breaking rules, can talk about this. It’s true that in our house, Mrs. Lion makes and enforces the rules. I’m supposed to be obedient. Sounds like femdom, doesn’t it?

If we were to extend Mrs. Lion’s authority to its logical end, then I suppose that’s what it would be. But we don’t. In her role as disciplining wife, she makes and enforces rules. That doesn’t mean our marriage is 100% femdom. It isn’t. In situations that aren’t about my behavior, we are partners. On one level, she’s still in charge. She has the final say on where we go to dinner, for example. But I pay the bills and we jointly make major financial decisions.

I’m pretty sure this is true of most successful Female Led Relationships with Discipline (FLRD). Thy are actually, like ours, modified partnerships. This isn’t a contradiction at all. There is nothing fake about Mrs. Lion’s authority or my unhappiness when I’m punished. It’s just that we are very aware that there are sensible limits to her authority.

She can extend her domination if she wishes. I am fine with that. But it will never be “everything”. It can’t be. Only fantasies and femdom scenes support total female rule. It isn’t because guys don’t really want it. It has more to do with the physical and emotional cost of being a despot. My experience with a woman who expected me to be a full-time master made it clear to me that it just won’t work.

That doesn’t mean all is lost for those of us who want to feel feminine control. We have to understand that we can’t release our fantasy image of a FLRD relationship. Instead, we have to work together with our partners to figure out what will make us feel sufficiently submissive while still allowing room for the relationship to grow and flourish.

Luckily, Mrs. Lion and I are finding that balance. We have a way to go. Mrs. Lion accepts her authority cautiously. Lioness 2.0 is a giant leap from 1.0. We both agree there is another step ( 3.0?). There’s no rush. The next phase doesn’t necessarily mean Mrs. Lion will start paying the bills or take over any other role I fill now. It will be a much higher stakes game in the areas she chooses to control. I’ll be on a much shorter leash. Consequences for misbehaving will be harsher and absolutely inevitable.

Even though I will be under stricter control, our underlying partnership won’t change a bit. It will just become harder for me to sit down when I am naughty.

Heading Home

I wish I could say I’m home with Lion as I write this. I’m still on the east coast. My flight leaves Sunday afternoon, almost evening. It stinks that traveling west takes more time than traveling east. Stupid jet stream! Don’t you know I want to get home faster!

I had a very eventful visit. I saw my oldest son and met his girlfriend. I saw my younger son for the first time in a long time. I saw my “baby” graduate high school. I saw my “baby’s” college and got to share some of the excitement with her. I’ll miss moving her in but she’ll be just fine. Of course I’m only a phone call away.

The biggest thing on this trip is that I had a remote control Lion. He was caged but I asked for pictures and even gave him some wild time. All from across the country. I thought it was fun. I think Lion did too.

I didn’t tell Lion this but whenever I was eating with someone I was surprisingly shocked when they ate before I did. A few times I almost said something but caught myself just in time. Funny. They had no idea how close they came to getting Lion in trouble! Good thing he only has to pay for his own mistakes.

I am sooooo glad to be heading home to Lion. Let the snuggling begin!

My Backstory

A little personal history is in order, I think. Before meeting Mrs. Lion, I was in a Master/slave relationship. It was the first explicitly BDSM relationship I ever had. It was “arranged”. Some of my friends wanted me to meet and then “own” a woman who was a service slave. She had been living in that role for years. She was in her mid-thirties, very pretty, and utterly committed to being owned.

I knew full well how badly things seem to go in relationships formed around a power exchange. I was overwhelmed by the chance to have a 24/7 slave who was dedicated to my happiness. She was 35 years old, a former runway model. She had, in fact starred in some spanking porn (Red Board films, I think). She was the real deal.

The reason I was asked to take her is that I have a reputation as an ethical top. I always respect the women I beat and played with. They loved it. It was good exercise for me. So, the slave moved in to my house. She cleaned and cooked and gave me any sex I wanted. She wanted a distant, demanding master who would treat her like furniture. You know, the fairytale slavegirl fantasies. It didn’t take long before we developed real feelings for one another. Neither of us knew how to integrate love into a strict master/slave relationship. We did our best.

We lasted ten years. That’s a record in the BDSM community. Over the latter years she became more and more unhappy. I wasn’t the demanding, inspect-every-surface-for-dust master she imagined. Micro managing a slave pretty well kills a guys life. I was unwilling to do it. She got angry and resentful. Her neurosis leaked out more and more. We weren’t happy.

At the end, we drifted apart and the house was a mess. In the end, she met a Mexican waiter at some feely touchy weekend who said the right things to her. She asked me to release her. Oh boy! I was happy to do it.

There were lots of very good things about us as a couple. We did represent opposite ends of the D/S spectrum. She worshiped me and I adored her as my most prized possession. With all that, there was a single word missing that ultimately ended it for us. She could never say “we”. Everything was Mine or Yours. She couldn’t work joint ownership. I hated that.

During the last few weeks of her residence with me, I met Mrs. Lion. I wished for a woman who would bring love and tranquility. I wanted a smooth, loving relationship. I had enough living in a tornado. The Goddess heard me and sent Mrs. Lion. On the first date she talked about things that were ours and the word “we” was ever present in her vocabulary. She was and is perfect for me.

You may be wondering how a 24/7 master morphs into a guy in a Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). That’s got to be the polar opposite of my former life. Surprisingly, it isn’t. For one thing, I’m not submissive. I’m trained (conditioned). I still growl and very often make the decisions for us. My obedience and submission is in a very narrow sexual area. It’s what we’re comfortable with right now.

I fully expect that Mrs. Lion, no 2.0,  will raise the ante. She’s already done it with play. She now uses painful clothespins on my balls and she picks the spots she knows really hurt me. Oddly, I love she is doing that. I love when she plays for real.

Unlike my master slave relationship, ours isn’t obsessed with consuming every bit of our energy. It’s been slowly integrating into our very happy marriage. We don’t move at lightning speed. But we do move alone. I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up on the punishment stool and picking cards out of the “Box’O Fun.

We’re celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary this summer and our 15th year together. We are stuck with one another and we love it. Whatever we’re doing works! YaaaY

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