So much conversation on the Web by people actually involved in chastity is centered around sex. It seems ironic to me that men wearing cages spend so much time talking about getting sexual satisfaction. Some of the few keyholders who contribute also talk almost exclusively about sexual activity with their caged males. I have to admit that the non-sexual stuff relating to my chastity is mostly about keeping from smelling like pee, avoiding pinching when sitting in certain chairs, and dealing with peeing sitting down. None of those topics are very interesting, even to me.
A recent post has generated some rare insights into some keyholder feelings that I, for one, didn’t really understand. Being caged sets up some very specific expectations of our keyholders. They are expected to keep us locked up, tease us, give us orgasms from time to time, and demand the sexual pleasure they want. The first three represent things they do to or for us, the last something we do for them. But there’s a problem. Our keyholders are expected to take their pleasure from us. We are not giving it to them. Being “forced” to please our keyholders is really an extension of our chastity fantasy. We have surrendered control and our keyholders have taken it.
It didn’t occur to me that having to “take” pleasure from me wouldn’t be as wonderful for my Lioness as it would be for me. As it turns out, she really doesn’t want to do that at all. She doesn’t even want to tell me to please her. I knew some of this. We had talked about this topic a few times. I didn’t realize that her unwillingness to demand pleasure extended so much further. She really wants a very vanilla approach to lovemaking. She needs me to initiate cuddling and other pleasant romantic activities and then ease into pleasing her. There is nothing about my chastity that would prevent this. There are a few issues I have that cause me a problem.
One reason, I suspect, that forced chastity is so appealing to me is that it should relieve me of the need to initiate sex. Most of the stuff I read online (from real couples, not solo male fantasies) has the female partner being assertive about her sexual needs. The male, if he knows what’s good for him, makes sure she gets what she wants. As the initial comment to my previous post pointed out, that isn’t the case with her, and it isn’t the case with Mrs. Lion.
I can’t find any working models that fit this other case. The thing is, Mrs. Lion is right. She is locking me up because it is what I want. She is providing the teasing and orgasm control I want and need. What she isn’t doing is changing her basic sexual needs. As a result, she gives up sex for herself while continuing to please me. I can’t speak for anyone else, but this is not acceptable to me. What I imagined to be a way that we both could get what we need and have a lot of fun has turned out to be a selfish exercise for my pleasure alone. To try to fix it, I proposed scheduling Lioness pleasing. That way, I thought, she wouldn’t have to initiate or demand anything and I could feel the control the schedule imposes. Not true.
Mrs. Lion doesn’t want scheduled sex. She wants a vanilla man/woman interaction that includes me initiating affection that will escalate to full on sex. I should be able to do that without any problem, but I can’t. My Lioness has been willing to do so much to make me happy and I am saying I can’t do what she needs. That has to end. I have to change and change now.
What started as a sexually exciting adventure into forced male chastity is becoming a deeper, emotional journey for us both. I had started to wonder what I would write here. The idea of generating real-life porn by relating each sexual adventure just doesn’t fit me well. Now I am finding that living in a cage has opened some new doors. I think you may be reading more about my efforts, successful and unsuccessful to please my Lioness. I suspect that she and I are not alone in this. If this fits your life, please add your voice. If it doesn’t, don’t worry, there are lots of sexy adventures ahead if I know my Lioness.