Crime And Punishment: A New Keyholder’s Guide

Many caged males and their keyholders perceive the power exchange the cage represents as far more than just locking up his penis and leaving it in its cage. All of the fantasies and many real life couples practice some form of keyholder control, at least of sexual matters. Many of us caged males crave rules and discipline. We want to feel our keyholder’s control beyond our little cages.

For a new keyholder, these interests in rules and discipline can come as a surprise. Without prior experience in topping, the new keyholder can feel lost and inadequate. Fear not! You can do this. Actually, the first step: caging your male’s penis was the hardest. It introduced what you might have considered an alien experience. You agreed to lock him up. Now there’s more? Yup, there is.

Like any kid with a new toy, your caged male will be enthusiastic and anxious to experience everything he dreamed about all at once. That can create a giant anxiety attack for a new keyholder. This is the first opportunity for you to use your new power. I know, you never asked for power; you just locked him up because he asked you to do it. For better or worse, you did do it and now you discover there could be a lot more. Read on, help is here.

First thing, because you have the key, you are in charge. Use this authority to firmly remind him that you will decide what happens next. You can thank him for his input, but in the future don’t volunteer advice. Of course, he will ignore your request. If he persists in his demands and questions, you need to be a bit firmer. My suggestion is that you tell him to stop. Tell him that all he needs to know is that you have locked him up and that you will tell him anything else he should know. Questions and requests are not welcome.

Here’s the hard part. He persists. Now you are at a crucial crossroad, dealing with a naughty boy. While you didn’t sign on for it, discipline generally is part of the keyholder’s job. Depending how you feel about it, you have some fairly simple choices:

Behavior that has to stop now
Persistent questions and requests get annoying. If you want that to stop and stay stopped, your discipline needs to be real. You need to do something that will act as a true deterrent. Spanking is probably not a good choice. Many males really want that. For behavior you want to quickly modify, you need to be more drastic. If there is something he likes to do such as play video games, watch sports on TV, go out with his friends, etc., tell him that he is banned from that favorite thing for a week and that if he doesn’t stop now, it will be two weeks. He may object saying that he won’t do it. The response is simple: get your key and tell him that he either accepts your punishment or the cage comes off forever. It’s his choice. Either way you win. By the way, that’s critical. He must see discipline as a no-win for him. He either does what you say or he ends his chastity fantasy. It’s that simple. This won’t be easy for you to do, but believe me, if you don’t set these boundaries early, he will end up topping you and you will be his chastity slave.

Corrections and conditioning
Since we know that caged males crave rules and regimen, it would be very fulfilling for him if you find some rules he can follow that don’t take up too much of your emotional and physical time. Then, there are behaviors you want to modify it because you just want to. You can make this fun.

  • Sexual behavior This covers sexual conditioning for your caged male. There are two main categories: orgasm control and the cost of coming.
    Orgasm control is important if you want to assure your male only comes when you want but you still want to make some use of his penis. The objective is to get him to avoid orgasm without permission. If you want to play with his penis and you don’t want any accidents, inform him of this and tell him to warn you if he is close. Similarly, if you want penetration and you do this with or without desensitizing cream, he must warn you and give you a chance to stop the penetration before the accident. Infractions can be punished in any number of ways. One of my favorites is spanking. I like to be spanked, up to a point. Since this is not a recreational spanking, it should be done with a paddle that really stings and at full force until you feel he has learned. It’s probably a good idea to restrain him for this. Instead, or in addition, add time to his “sentence”. Make him wait another week or more before his next scheduled release. The objective is to condition him to ejaculate only when you give him permission. Over time, this is amazingly effective.Paying for release

    is a fun concept. In practice, every time he is allowed to ejaculate he must do something to “pay” for it. Some keyholders enjoy post-orgasm penis torture. Most men become painfully sensitive to touching the tip of their penises shortly before or after ejaculation. Vigorously rubbing the head after ejaculation will turn into something he will love to hate. Another very appropriate payment is requiring him to consume (eat) his semen each time he comes. Most men will hate this too and will probably learn to love hating it. After all, it’s only fair he clean up after himself.

  • Rules Many caged males crave some rules that their keyholders will enforce. The big problem to the keyholder is that making rules means monitoring compliance and enforcement. This can become a tiresome time and energy drain. It’s also not easy to come up with rules you can live with, much less him. My lioness came up with a very clever rule: she requires me to wear a diaper from Friday evening until I dress for work on Monday. This rule requires no real effort to monitor and enforcement is a spanking. Also, if there is any reason I need to be out of diaper during the weekend, I must make up the time during the week. This may not appeal to you as a keyholder. I am not fond of it at all as a caged lion. But, it is effective and it conditions me to obedience. If you come up with any rules that you like, please add them as a comment to this post.

No matter how you slice it, forced male chastity is a form of sexual submission. It’s rarely the only submissive thing that a chastity couple do. The key for a new keyholder is to understand this and to realize that her caged male probably has a conscious or unconscious need for this. Most important is for you to do this your way and in your own time. You own the chastity relationship, he doesn’t.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Femdom, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Sex

What do you think?