Here are my somewhat immediate problems. And these are only problems in that I know as a top they shouldn’t be problems. But for me it is a constant wrestling match in my mind about how I should act (i.e. what is expected of me as a top) and what I actually want.
I don’t mind when Lion suggests things. I don’t feel pressure to do those things. I used to. But now when he says he’s horny or this is what he’d like, I consider them and decide what to do. I am more likely now to laugh at him or tease him more if he says he’s horny. Poor baby!
My sex drive is still not where Lion wants it. On the one hand, who cares? It’s not what he wants that counts. On the other hand, he thinks he’s letting me down by not pleasing me. Not true. He is being more attentive. This pleases me.
I like to give Lion orgasms. Again, this is only a problem from the point of view of me as a top. Last night as I was teasing him, I said I was thinking about making him come every night. He said he would be thrilled with that. I know male chastity involves making him wait to come but damn it I like giving him orgasms. Then I said I might see how many times I can make him orgasm in a given day. Again he perked up. We discussed giving him a time limit and if he doesn’t have an orgasm in that time frame then he doesn’t get to have one at all. I’ll probably do all of that at some point in time.
So all of this leaves me with doubts as to whether I am making progress or not. Sometimes I feel like I am and other times not so much. I know I have an inner bitch but she is usually reserved for that idiot driver in front of me who can’t seem to do the speed limit. Lion wishes I would harness some of that road rage and put it to use on him. That’s not how I’m wired.
I just think we have to find our own way. Somehow we’ll figure it out. There is no one size fits all approach.