Progress

Work in progress sign

Dreams and fantasies happen all at once.
Real progress takes time and very hard work.

I have been locked up for a while now. Each week I find that wearing the cage becomes more and more a natural part of my life. I am generally unaware that it is there between my legs. Other things are happening as well. I’ve stopped asking for sexual attention. Yes, I still get incredibly horny and I silently ask Mrs. Lion to relieve that itch, but I don’t ask out loud. I work hard to avoid asking for anything sexual for me or for her. It’s no longer something I should do. I find myself looking for ways I can help her. Most importantly, I am making a conscious effort not to argue or offer my opinion unless asked.

That might sound like my personality is dissolving into a bland, passive mush. I don’t think so. My nature is not passive in the least. I’m not fooling myself. I still contribute actively to pretty much everything except decisions regarding sex. That’s definitely off limits for me. Over time I am hoping that I will continue to become more and more attentive. I want to focus more attention on pleasing my lioness. It makes me smile to type those words. One of the premises of forced male chastity is always that the male becomes attentive and more and more interested in the keyholder’s pleasure. I admit it. I just never saw that as a natural process. I figured that it could happen, but probably needed the keyholder to provide the incentives needed to modify the caged male’s behavior.

Apparently those incentives aren’t necessary. It just seems to happen on its own. I’m sure that I have a very long way to go. On the other hand, I had a mental image of how my lioness would take charge and provide the control and discipline that I wanted. Now I realize that sort of expectation is as unrealistic as expecting me to become a fawning sycophant. While locking up my penis is a single act, the changes a male chastity lifestyle requires takes substantial time and cultivation.

Mrs. Lion is making wonderful progress. She is thinking (and writing) about sexual activities to heighten our enjoyment of this lifestyle. Even more significantly, she is growing more independent in her actions when we are together. Today is a case in point. We were out running errands. I asked if she wanted to get lunch; I was feeling hungry. She asked where I would like to go. So far, this is our normal conversation when it comes to deciding if we want to get a meal and if we do, where to go. I said that I didn’t care. Normally, she would throw out some ideas for me to consider. Not today. Instead, she drove purposefully to a local fast food restaurant without saying another word. That may sound like small stuff, but it isn’t. She took control and acted. She didn’t consult me; she just went where she decided to go. I, for my small part, kept my mouth shut and went along for the ride.

She made significant progress with that move. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her to do that. What’s interesting is that this step had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with forced chastity. The little cage that follows me everywhere stimulated a change in a completely unrelated part of our lives. That change felt completely right to me.

If you had asked me how I would gauge our progress, I would have talked about tease-and-deny, ruined orgasms, spankings, milkings, extra time in the cage, and the other chastity-related sexual activities. By the way, there is progress sexually too. But today’s subtle change is a much more profound signal to me. It shows us changing some of our basic behaviors as a couple. When she reads this, Mrs. Lion may shake her head and say that there was no change, she asked me and since I didn’t say where I wanted to go, she simply went where she liked. That is an accurate description of what happened. But, Mrs. Lion, that has never happened before in the more-than-a-decade we have been together. Progress!

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Advice to caged males, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex