While I have been active in the leather community for decades, it was generally as a top. My forays into bottoming were two or three hour play sessions. Non of that prepared me for my current situation. Now that I have been caged, I find myself as a full-time bottom. I’ve written about this before, but not so personally. In my fantasies my keyholder made rules for me to follow, spanked me if I didn’t do as I should, and generally acted as my erotic goddess. I knew full well that if I asked to embark on forced male chastity that it would never be like that.
The reality has been much more difficult than I imagined. First of all, Mrs. Lion had no real idea what forced chastity was about. You could argue that I had no idea either when we started. I had worn devices for a few days at a time, so I at least understood the mechanics. I had my fantasies and I had my years of experience as a top. So, I was ahead of the game in that sense. I did know how it should be played.
There is a lot of difference between knowing and doing. The hardest lesson for me so far is for me to stop telling Mrs. Lion what I want. This is commonly called topping from the bottom. It can range from the obvious, “I like it better when you spank me this way.” to subtle requests for attention. I was saying, “I’m horny.” way more often than I should. After realizing that I may be topping from the bottom, I figured the best move was to stop asking at all. That way, at least, I wouldn’t be topping.
This phase lasted a week or so. I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that I was avoiding signalling that I was horny. Her response surprised me. She said, “Why?”
I told her that I thought it was a form of topping. She pointed out that just because I said I wanted sex didn’t mean she would give it to me. She left me with the impression that as long as I didn’t make a pest of myself, she liked hearing if my sexual temperature was rising. Lesson learned. Don’t assume you are a good boy just because you shut up.
If you’ve been reading here, you know that I have some practical knowledge about effective physical topping. At the same time I stopped giving my sexual weather report, I also stopped making suggestions. Again, I was reminded that just because I have a bright idea doesn’t mean that Mrs. Lion will adopt it. Some of my ideas are getting adopted. One of them: a remote controlled doggy shock collar was really intriguing.
I talked about it with Mrs.Lion. We discussed what she could do with it. Then the subject dropped. On Sunday she said that she had been thinking. She hates when I interrupt her. She thought that the shocks would be a good way to train me not to do it. I agreed and ordered a shock collar for us. The collar arrives today. Since I ordered it Sunday, I’ve had some time to consider the folly of my suggestions. This training tool has the potential to actually change my behavior. It won’t be pleasant for me and it will require me to change as my keyholder wishes.
That is a sobering thought. It’s what brought me to write on this topic. It’s one thing to be a good boy and get a nice spanking when naughty. The spanking takes preparation and work on the part of my keyholder. The shock collar just requires a press of a button to correct me. No erotic undressing, no assuming the position, no lengthy discipline ritual; just Zap no matter where I am and what I am wearing. Discipline is instant and unpleasant. As I think about it, that is exactly what discipline should be. That doesn’t mean that I am looking forward to this new form of lion control. Well, maybe I am. It is exciting to contemplate. I have a feeling that my next post on this subject might have a different tone. It may turn into one of those things I hate while they happen, but get hard thinking about it afterward.