A Subtle Difference Between Keyholder And Caged Male

Until very recently I hadn’t given a great deal of thought to how a keyholder might perceive her role and how it affects her. I think that we caged males expect our keyholders to get aroused by the various aspects of our being locked up. I did at first.  It is an unreasonable expectation. For example, why would a woman be turned on by her male having his penis in a cage? If anything, it would make sex more difficult for her. We males are turned on because it represents the surrender of control. Should we believe that having control is arousing to our keyholder?

In the more than two decades I was a top, I don’t think that I found the things I did as a top to be sexually arousing. Being male, I liked to see my naked submissive partner. I like to see naked women. She didn’t find being naked for me to be arousing. She found being spanked incredibly arousing. As the top, spanking her was big fun, but not in itself a sexual turn on. The power over her was a turn on, but not the act. I loved all the things I did to her. It was fun and I enjoyed her reactions. But I wasn’t hard while I was topping. I was working hard and having a good time.

Sound familiar? I think we’ve seen keyholders here say that spanking us, tying us up, pegging us, and any number of other activities that get us really hot, didn’t really turn them on. They said they like doing it and it pleases them that it turns us on. I am guilty of expecting more; wanting them to be aroused. In my case, I should have known better. I’ve been on the other side of the paddle so long, I should have known better.

When I think about why I was blind to this obvious difference between bottom and top, I realize that a good bit of this is guilt. I understand that I am asking my keyholder to do a lot of things to support my forced chastity. I want her to get benefits from my captivity too. Is this a form of topping from the bottom? Am I trying to control her emotional investment in my chastity? It could be. In my mind it is difficult to believe that she can keep this up for long unless she is getting something out of it too. I have to trust that she is getting enough for herself to keep it up. Trust is a key virtue for a bottom.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity
One comment on “A Subtle Difference Between Keyholder And Caged Male
  1. Fairschlossen says:

    Ich tragen einen Neo-Steet mit vernieteten Hüftstahl , seid Oktober . Seid 3 Monaten trage ich 30mm Urinal-Kondome das unter Aufsicht ich alle 48 Stunden entferne , alles reinige und mit neuen Urinal welches durch das Frontschild ragt verschließen .Ein kurzer Schlauch am Urinal und jede Position kann zur Erleichterung eingenommen werden . Urinbeutel trage ich bei langen Fahrten . Im Urinal fühle ich mich sauber und es ist eine Erleichterung . Es gibt auch Dauer Urinale aus Silikon mit 5 cm Innendurchmesser .
    Gruß

    I used Google Translate and this is what I got:
    I wear a Neo-Steet with riveted Hüftstahl, be in October. Silk 3 months I wear 30mm Urinal condoms under supervision do I remove every 48 hours, everything clean and new urinal which protrudes through the front shield lock. A short hose at the urinal and each position can be taken for relief. Urine bag I carry on long journeys. In the urinal I feel clean and it’s a relief. There are also time urinals of silicone of 5 cm internal diameter.

What do you think?