April 2014 (Page 10)

I know that for me forced chastity is more than just caging my penis. It also involves at the least, loss of sexual control. Giving up control, or more correctly, losing control to my keyholder has always been a big part of my chastity fantasies. I think it is part of most forced chastity male fantasies. It is this part of the fantasy that is probably the most difficult for a new keyholder. How many partners want the extra emotional and physical effort to “train” or “condition” the chaste male? This aspect is the most difficult for my lioness. She doesn’t seem to like the role of top.

The top role involves reward and punishment. More correctly, it is reward and correction. To a new top, there is a lot of mystery and anxiety about being put in the position of administering correction. Providing rewards is no problem for most. Can a caged male feel controlled with rewards alone? I am sure it won’t work for me. Only by feeling the presence of my top’s control of me can I experience my desired sense of her ownership of my cock. Optimally, if I am to realize my fantasy, my keyholder will condition my behavior to her liking.

This is where real life gets difficult. My lioness has never been trained in the art of male control. I can’t think of anyone who has prior to a male asking for it. So, as a new keyholder your only input is probably your caged male partner. Clearly we caged males are not the best source of help. We have had years of fantasy to move further and further away from reality. We need reigning in.

Assuming you want to consider male control, the biggest problem is where to start and how to enforce your wishes. My suggestion is to start with things that are easy to see and have little-to-no emotional loading for you or him. Things like, fetching you treats, pampering you, or even some simple behavioral changes are a good place to start. If you are uncomfortable asking for things for yourself, consider the behavioral route. For example, you can require that your male always stand with his hands behind his back if he isn’t holding or carrying anything. In this case, you are just providing a harmless behavioral change.

When you want to make a behavioral change, there are two things you should do to make the change unconscious: reward success and provide correction when the behavior doesn’t happen. The reward is as simple as a “Good boy!” when you observe him doing what you asked. The correction is a bit more difficult. Optimally, corrections should be immediate. They can be as simple as a “Where are your hands?”, or something physical. Stay tuned for some ideas for immediate correction ideas.

One technique almost guaranteed to make a new keyholder wince is electro stimulation. This is the use of a device that gives a very brief and safe shock to your male when he needs correction. I know that I won’t like being corrected this way, but I know from my reading in behavioral psychology it is effective and humane. One relatively cheap (less than $100) way to do this is with a dog’s anti-bark collar — the kind with a remote control. This can be strapped under your male’s balls with the contact on his scrotum. These collars have many levels of correction available. The weakest ones will barely be felt. These devices offer the significant advantage of limiting the keyholder’s action to simply pressing a button. The caged male will feel it and if he chooses to ignore it, you can escalate easily. It isn’t visible under almost any clothing, it’s waterproof, and it will truly work if you are consistent with its use. I hate to say I “want” this, but I am sure it will be effective and give me the feeling of being controlled that I crave.

It isn’t really fair that we caged males have such complex wishes. Forced chastity is more than a caged penis. As a keyholder, you probably never knew this was so involved. We caged males should be aware of how much we want and our keyholders understand that we don’t expect perfection. This lifestyle takes lots of time to take root and flourish.

I have been caged over two months. Mrs. Lion has been very good about teasing and denial, ruined orgasms, and the general maintenance a caged male requires. But it is still very clear that she is caging me because I want it. I am sure that if I ask her to take my cage off because I don’t want to wear it, that she would unlock me and give me the cage. While that is very loving, it is exactly what I don’t want. I want her to own the cage and to keep me in it as long as she wants. I also want her to own what is inside the cage as well.

This can be very difficult for her. She has made it clear that having my cock locked up does not turn her on. She isn’t excited by the power she has. She has told me that while it doesn’t turn her on, she will do it because “I like it.” Well I do like it, but not because it is a thrill to have my dick in a cage, but because I am surrendering sexual control to my lioness. I understand the truth in the old saying “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” There is nothing I can do to make Mrs. Lion get aroused by exercising sexual control over me. I accept that. But if that is the case, does it mean that I can never surrender sexual control to her?

The answer is that I can, but it means that she needs to take one more step to make this possible. If I can control whether or not I am caged in the long or short term, then I am in control. However, if Mrs. Lion consciously takes ownership of my cage and lets me know that if I want out, I’m not getting it, then I will begin to feel her control. If she also teases and denies, gives ruined orgasms, and if possible, lets me know what I can do to please her, I will feel that she has taken sexual control of me. Ideally, this power will turn her on, but even if it doesn’t, it will work for me if she does these things.

You have to ask where her WIIFM is (pronounced WiffIM, it’s What’s In It For Me)? That’s the hard part. Are there things I can do for her that will make her feel more wanted? Can I do things around the house to make her life easier? There are, and I am trying to do them. But I wonder if she even notices. I don’t need praise for everything, but acknowledgement would be really great.

I suspect that we aren’t unique. Forced male chastity has put a burden on her that she didn’t request. I wish I could find a way to make her have fun owning my sexuality. I don’t think it will “just happen” if we keep it up. I think it is a decision Mrs. Lion must make and I must support. In forced chastity, communications is key, just like the rest of having a successful relationship.

Virtually everything you read on line about forced male chastity is about sex. Even here in our very own blog, so much is about both male and female sex and orgasms. If you read the “Lion’s Adventures” list on the right, you can see that I am not exactly sex starved. Yet, I wear an effective chastity cage 24/7. What’s going on?

Ironically, forced male chastity is about sex; well, more accurately about male sexual control. Some people use the chastity device to prevent male orgasm for a long time. Others, like me, get regular exercise at the keyholder’s discretion. That’s the key. My keyholder can grant or withhold sex without warning or negotiation. She can keep me safely locked away and I have nothing I can do about it. That’s why it’s called forced male chastity.

The fact she can do this, doesn’t mean she must. It means she can. Locking me up also prevents me from any do-it-yourself sexual expression. Unsupervised masturbation is obviously out. In fact, unsupervised arousal is out. The keyword is “supervise”. Before being locked up, my sexuality was shared at my discretion. Mrs. Lion could certainly pay attention to my cock, but when she wasn’t, I had full ability to get hard, masturbate, and ejaculate. I could also control if and when Mrs. Lion had access as well.

So what’s different now? Mostly it’s that my keyholder must be involved if my cock is able to get hard. She has to take some action for me to even be able to fully wash it. Otherwise I have to use the shower sprayer to do the best I can while it is still in its cage. Aside from the physical control, the cage creates a powerful mental change as well. I am now completely dependent on her for any sexual pleasure. That fact changes both of us. I realize that I  need to try to put her in an unlocking mood. She realizes that I am sexually dependent on her and because of that, she thinks more about my sexual needs.

Now, if this were “true” chastity, all that would be needed would be to lock me up indefinitely. She would have to occasionally free me for cleaning and inspection, but certainly no sex. In that case, I would almost surely lose interest in sex as the dry period continued. After a couple of weeks my interest would start to wane. Since that isn’t the purpose of forced chastity, our keyholders want us to keep wanting sex more and more, making every day harder to take. This provides a strong element of control. The more desperate for release I get, the more cooperative I will be. It doesn’t take long to learn that orgasm has to be earned. Mrs. Lion can decide what I have to do to earn it. Conversely, any displeasure I cause can extend the orgasm-free time. She can still unlock me and tease me to the edge. She is very good at that. This keeps my desire honed. Of course, all through this time, she can have me please her any way she wants without me being allowed to come.

One area of training that many keyholders work on is the ability of the caged male to provide intercourse for her without coming himself. Some women want several-times-a-day intercourse with the male never getting a chance to ejaculate. Face it guys, that’s our lot in life now. It’s exciting in concept, pretty hard to avoid coming, and frustrating as hell. Keyholders seem to love this.