Month: April 2014 (Page 2)

cock head in chastity cage
You can see that my urethra instead of nicely centered for a spray-free pee, is trying to bit the bar on the left. This guarantees a messy spray. (We generally use black-and-white images here, but my urethra is invisible without color. I hope this image won’t offend anyone.)

I’m still working out the mechanics of wearing my JB (Jail Bird) and peeing. On the surface, that seems simple. The JB has a square opening on the front of the cage. One (me) would assume that since my penis generally sits at the end of the cage, the urethra would line up nicely with that square. As you can see, it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s above the square, other times it’s in the square but to the right or left biting the bars. This makes standing up to pee a risky venture. When I first started wearing the cage, I tried to line things up and use the urinal at work. About two out of ten tries, I soaked my pants, sprayed the floor, and otherwise made a mess. Twice I had to go home because my pants were soaked. Things can be made worse if it is cold. Then my balls tighten up and make a tight package with my cage. I’m like that in the picture.

I think that all caged males have this challenge.  Different cages offer different challenges. Some have trouble draining and by day’s end the caged male can have a nasty pee scent going under his shorts. One reason I wanted the Jail Bird is the open design that allows air in and pee out. After my messy experiences, I finally gave in and began peeing sitting down. My keyholder accused me of doing this as a further demonstration of my submission. It isn’t. I just didn’t want to have to keep leaving work early because I can’t control my spray.

You’d think that was the end of my problems. It wasn’t. It turns out that if the urethra is positioned like the photo, I still spray and manage to cover my balls with pee. So, I have to stand up and do a quick pee-pee wipe dance in the stall to keep from dripping into my pants and from smelling like a urinal the rest of the day.  I’ve learned to do some early adjustments. I stand up, pull my cage up so I can see the tip and then try to prod the head so that the urethra is more-or-less aimed through the square. Most of the time I get that right, at least I think I do. My balls remain dry.

So, today, when lioness and I were out shopping I needed to pee. I went to the men’s room and headed for a stall. I was lucky and got the handicap stall; lots of extra room. The seat was up. So I dropped trou and underpants, did my little wiggle and adjust move, and considered what to do next. Do I dare stand and give it a try again? Lioness will laugh if my jeans are wet. Oh well, I’m sick of sitting to pee all the time! So, I screwed up my courage, faced the bowl, and started to pee. I’d like to say that I shot for the bulls-eye and hit it. I didn’t. I hooked to the right and missed the bowl entirely. Quickly, I corrected. My penis was now aimed at the stall to my left, but the pee was going straight and true into the bowl. Success! Sorta. I managed to empty my bladder without flooding the men’s room.

This is just one of the many adjustments wearing a cage forces on me. It’s the one I find most bothersome. In the beginning I worried that everyone could see the outline of the cage in my jeans. They can’t. I also get the occasional pinch mid-meeting and have to adjust discreetly and quickly. I’m getting very good at that quick move. I know that none of this is exactly earth-shaking, but it causes me to pause and think before doing things that required no thought before. Some new things to adapt to.

Silly lion
Ok, we can be silly too. I’m learning to like it when my keyholder laughs at me.

One benefit that some keyholders get from having a caged male is amusement. I have to admit it is funny to see me jump a bit. especially in public, when lioness zaps me (low setting) with my collar. I was checking out at Home Depot, happily scanning our purchases, when all of a sudden ZAP! It didn’t really hurt but it was startling. I glared at her, then I realized it was kind of funny. I had to smile too. A bit later, over lunch, she said that she liked my reaction a lot, even my glare. I have to admit it is exactly what I wanted to experience.

Being amusing is another aspect of lost control that I hadn’t really considered three months ago when we started. I don’t think either of us did. But when something like my zap at Home Depot happens and she laughs at my expense, it doesn’t feel like I am being humiliated or embarrassed. Partly, this is because I know that she was the only one who noticed and partly because it gently reminded me that I had no choice. As I mentioned yesterday, the loss of control is a double edged sword. In this case I was amusing, not because I wanted to make her laugh, but because she could make me do things that amuse her.

This may sound like a small thing. Maybe it is, but it sent a strong message to me; one that I had never received before. That remote control moves things out of the bedroom and totally out of my control. I know I keep talking about that. The reason is that I have come to understand that a big reason I wanted to be caged was that I wanted to surrender sexual control. I wanted to experience that. I thought I did from the beginning. I haven’t been able to masturbate in three months now. That’s the longest I’ve gone in my life. I know, big deal!

It’s taken this long to have some of the reality sink in. That reality is what I wanted all this time, but didn’t know it. I think that is the epiphany that marks the end of my third month in the cage. I am starting to understand what surrendering control really is. It’s taken this long because my keyholder and I had to find our voices.  For me it was surrender; allowing things to just happen because I have no control. I have no control, sexually that is. What a powerful sentence. Of course for me to have no sexual control, my keyholder must accept that she has that control.

Even though a lot of guys lock themselves up and play games to get this sense of lost control, the real game is played by two. After all, you can’t surrender to yourself. You can’t surrender to someone who won’t accept that surrender, and you shouldn’t surrender to someone who will use your vulnerability against you. My keyholder would never do that. I may be an amusing lion, but I am also a lucky one.

No Orgasm
Your cage prevents orgasm until your keyholder lets you out and allows you to come.

The essence of forced male chastity is the removal of choice when it comes to sex. At the very least, the cage removes the opportunity to decide when and where sexual activity will occur. Some couples limit their power exchange to controlling the caged males orgasms. Most of us go considerably further. Suddenly, my ability to come depends on the good will of another person. If she wants, I can stay locked up a very long time with no chance to orgasm. I don’t know about you, but I really like to come. However, that has been taken out of my hands, literally. So, it doesn’t take long to learn that a happy lioness is more likely to want to let me come than one who thinks I am  naughty or rude.

This may explain the otherwise inexplicable changes that occur in caged males. They become more thoughtful and interested in their keyholder’s comfort and happiness. It may not be a conscious decision, but enlightened self interest takes over and compels us to not bite the hand that jerks us off. In many cases obedience is extended by our keyholders. Mrs. Lion keeps me in diapers sometimes just to remind me that I do what she says. I have no choice. I really hate wearing them. It’s hot and not pleasant to pee in. But she is in charge.

Much of what I’ve written is about control. I know that I really wanted to feel that control, at least sexually. That’s one of the big reasons the idea of being caged was such a turn on. Most of my fantasies centered around lioness doing all sorts of exciting things to me: spanking, anal play, oral sex for her, etc., etc. I don’t think I considered the real message: Once locked up, I have no choice. I have to do what she wants. I have to accept however she chooses to treat me. This came home very strongly when Mrs. Lion decided that since she didn’t want orgasms herself right now, that I should have them since she enjoys making me come. This means that for a week now, she gets me off every night whether I am in the mood or not.

About half the time this week I really wasn’t in the mood. Lioness forged ahead and I was made to be in the mood. Not a terrible thing, but instructive. I understand now what “you have no choice” means. Maybe it took three months in the cage for it to sink in. But  now I know. Is it what I thought I wanted when this all began? Frankly, no it really isn’t. However, it doesn’t feel bad. It’s just different. I know that my keyholder doesn’t want to change who I am or actually tame this lion. She just wants to have fun trying. Or should I say, I want her to have fun trying. The ride isn’t always smooth, but it is exciting and ultimately I am a happier kitty.

Remote control
This remote control gives the keyholder her invisible leash. Small and easy to operate, it takes male control to a new level. Once you determine the right setting that will signal your male without hurting him, enforcing compliance is as easy as holding the button longer. Or for correction, pressing the red +2 button for a stronger message.

Control is all about communication. The training collar is a silent form of communication that will provide the keyholder with a new level of control. Yesterday, we talked about the training collar that can be adapted to provide silent communication between the keyholder and her caged male. When I first tried the new training collar on, I was worried that I was in for a world of hurt. After all, this thing delivers electrical shocks! I envisioned the painful jolts I got when wiring and mistakenly touching a live wire. Now those shocks were going to be delivered under my balls; the most sensitive part of my anatomy. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this device is not at all what I expected. In fact, Mrs. Lion had to keep dialing up the intensity until I could feel anything happening. It was easy to discover a setting that felt to me like a warm buzzing under my balls. It wasn’t painful at all. As we continued increasing the power it did get to the point where I really wanted it to stop. It wasn’t pleasant. But unlike the pain from a spanking or Icy Hot on my balls, when Mrs. Lion released the button, there was no residual pain. Nothing. This was new to me. It turns out that this transient “correction” is ideal for keyholder communication with her caged male.

Even if you aren’t interested in punishment or pain play, the collar and its little remote offer a great way to extend the caged male experience. Say hello to Male Control. Today we will look at how a keyholder can use the collar to silently direct her male to do things she wishes.

Come
This is a very useful command. It instructs the male to return to his keyholder. How many times have you wanted to  call him at a party, in a theater lobby, or a store? Wouldn’t it be convenient to be able to call him if he is within several hundred feet of you without even raising your voice? With the collar it’s easy. Just press the yellow button. Think of it as a doorbell. The first “ring” can be short and polite. If he doesn’t “hear” you, ring again pressing longer. You can press up to 5 seconds. If you still need to get his attention, try a series of buzzes, each about 5 seconds long. Don’t worry, you won’t injure him, but you should get his attention.

Sit
This may seem like a doggy command, but it actually useful for your caged male. If you are together and he is dominating the conversation or otherwise acting in a way that you want to calm down, press the yellow button three times in quick succession. He will learn that means to cool it.  I think you are seeing how this works.

Sexual commands
There are times when it is inconvenient to give verbal directions. For example, he is giving you oral attention. It’s nice but you want it more intense. Three quick pushes of the yellow button can tell him to lick faster. Similarly, a long, slow press can mean slow down. You can see the possibilities. You can also use the stimulation to distract him if he close to orgasm and you want to stop or delay it. This won’t necessarily work on the “signal” setting. You may need to press and hold the “+2” button until he indicates he has forgotten about his orgasm.

NO!
No is a correction. It means you want him to stop something he is doing now. Typically, behavioral correction had to wait for a convenient time to spank or otherwise punish. Now, you can correct him on the spot. Consider. You don’t like that he touches his genitals. Most males do this almost unconsciously. Saying “No!” loudly will remind him, but it is noisy and only temporarily effective. Your electronic leash can do so much more. If he has his collar on, if he touches, just give the +2 button a two-second push. It will provide an unpleasant reminder that he is breaking a rule. This isn’t really punishment; it’s correction. As soon as you release the button, the sensation ends. Each time he touches, you press the +2 button. It may not happen right away, but he will learn not to touch himself. This method of correction applies to any behavior you want to modify. What if he disregards your +2 correction? Simple. Raise the power and give a long pulse to him. If he is especially defiant, just keep increasing the intensity and length of time you hold down the button. He will lose interest in defying you very rapidly. All in real time.

Correction is not punishment. It is helping your male associate an unpleasant sensation with the behavior you want him to stop. He will get the point and you will extinguish the undesired behavior. For this to be effective, you need to correct every time he repeats the behavior. Don’t worry, it won’t take long for him to learn, and with some reminders now and then, he will learn to do what you want.

The invisible leash doesn’t necessarily replace punishment. Many caged males like the drama and humiliation of a spanking or other punishment. Discipline is appropriate when he is naughty. I consider that I am naughty when I am negligent or willful in not obeying a rule. A correction from the collar won’t help in that case. Being naughty isn’t as simple as interrupting or touching myself. It doesn’t really pay to correct for dropping something (Mrs. Lion swats me with a paddle when I do). But it is appropriate if I interrupt her since it stops me mid-interruption and I associate the unpleasant sensation with interrupting. The difference is subtle, but you probably see how it would work in your relationship.

One more thing. We are not able to tell you if this device will be effective for your male. Everyone is different and there could be problems with some especially sensitive people. You do this understanding that you are responsible and must exercise care and establish how he reacts. Don’t locate the collar anywhere above the waist. Under his balls seems to be a good spot since you don’t need very strong stimulation and the area is below the waist. We have only tried the specific product we have presented here. Training collars for larger dogs, anti-bark collars, and other brands may deliver more power. Always start with the lowest setting and give him a chance to react and tell you how it feels. Mrs. Lion and I are discovering the fun and power of the invisible leash. You may want to try one too.