By:
In: Male Chastity
cock teas t-shirt
We finally had an evening just for Mrs. Lion! She should get this t-shirt as an award for really pleasing her lion.

One of the more difficult problems we face is dealing with sex. If you have been reading our posts, an amazingly big part of forced male chastity is sex. That is surprising since our cages prevent sex. But that’s not really totally correct. The cages allow our keyholders to control our sexual experiences, not eliminate them. Thank goodness! My lioness is not all that interested in initiating sex. I’m not all that good at it either. Before I was caged, we had an uncomfortable standoff. Mrs. Lion was willing to forgo sex rather than initiate and I would get more and more horny, finally hinting in a very unsubtle way that I needed release. The net result was that I got a handjob or two a week and my poor lioness got nothing. This made me feel very guilty, but I just couldn’t work out how to break this cycle.

My interest in forced chastity has been around for over fifteen years. I made the recent (February 2014) decision to actually try it, not because I thought it would cure our problem, but because the idea really turned me on. As you know, she agreed. What happened next is chronicled here. What happened Friday night can only be described as a breakthrough. Let me start from the beginning.

Every day my lioness and I exchange affectionate text messages, telling each other how much we love one another. We also send one-word messages: “KISS”. Friday, I was thinking how nice it would be to lick her to orgasm. I got a chance to do that last week and loved it. I always love to taste my lioness. So, instead of KISS, I sent her “Lick (if you let me)”. She replied “Maybe”. Promising! I had initiated in a way consistent with my role as her caged male and she had replied appropriately.

Friday night, she uncaged me and I asked her if I could lick her. She agreed. I spent some really nice time between her legs enjoying her taste and smell. Yum! When she had enough, I rolled over on my back to rest a bit and to enjoy her scent lingering on my face. A few minutes later she sat up and began playing with my penis. It didn’t take long to get me hard and excited. I was really getting into it when she stopped. She then climbed on to me, and began to ride me. I really love that! She does too; she has her best penetration orgasms in that position. She had a lot of fun. I did too. She asked if I could come this way. I really couldn’t. I liked that. It meant I could please her without getting off myself. She said I could come if I wanted, but I really couldn’t. Usually, this position is guaranteed to make me come. She continued riding for several nice orgasms.

When she was done, she climbed off and began masturbating me again. I surprised myself by saying, “You know, just because you came doesn’t mean I have to.” She kept playing with me for a bit, then stopped. She told me I was all sticky and said I should wash off and then I could go back into my cage. I went to the bathroom and washed. By the time I got back, I was soft and she immediately caged me. I was really horny! But, I was also happy.

One of the key points in forced male chastity is that the keyholder uses her male’s penis for her pleasure without regard for the male’s satisfaction. I really wanted my lioness to do that. For the very first time that is what happened. She had a lot of fun using both my mouth and my cock for her pleasure and then locked me back up without me getting to come. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to come. I am not one of those guys who wants to see how long he can go without squirting. I like it too much. On the other hand, part of my fantasy is for my lioness to use me for her pleasure and then lock me up unsatisfied.

My lioness is a very kind woman. She wants me to have fun more than she wants to have fun herself. She is giving and generous. I also think that she doesn’t let me know what her needs really are. Now, for the first time, she put herself first and took her pleasure from me. You know, It was more satisfying for me than coming myself. I may have had intermittent erections all night as I thought of getting off, but I went to sleep with a smile on my face knowing that I pleased my lioness unselfishly. I really want that to happen again and again. Mrs. Lion made me really happy in a new and wonderful way.

By:
In: diapers, Femdom, Keyholder, Male Control (training)

Last night my poor Lion was a little under the weather. Once he was settled in I noticed he hadn’t put on his diaper as required. He went in his home office to check on his websites and after about an hour I took out a paddle and left it on the bed so he’d see it. Eventually I asked him if he forgot something. He looked at me sheepishly and said he’d hoped I would forget about the diaper since he wasn’t feeling well. The truth is, because we have a busy weekend, I was thinking about letting him be diaper free anyway. And had he asked me if he could forego the diaper I would have taken pity on him. But he didn’t ask. He assumed. And to paraphrase the familiar saying, you gave your ass to me, dear Lion. So today my Lion will receive his punishment swats when the mood strikes me.

By:
In: Male Chastity

This may sound silly, but I really light up when Mrs. Lion says, “Good Boy!” to me. I can’t explain why, but it does. I know she thinks it is demeaning and silly and she really doesn’t want to say it. She wrote about that here. The thing is that I really love earning that. I also truly love earning a “Good Job!” too.  This is way bigger for me than it might seem on the surface.

Somehow we need to figure out how to support the keyholder led sexual relationship inside a more traditional partnership

In reality, what I really need is praise for doing the right thing, but not praise the way you would praise your employee or friend, but praise from a superior, or, if you will the way you praise a pet. This may sound odd, but Mrs. Lion has control of an important part of me. I have asked her to take control. That puts her in the position of making decisions about rewards and punishments, praise or criticism. It’s what I want.

It isn’t easy to put that on someone you love and who loves you. I am sure Mrs. Lion does not want to think of her husband as a pet. We already have pets. That isn’t what I am asking. I am still the lion of the house. I still pay the bills and make a lot of decisions for us as a couple. I am not passive, nor ever will be. So how does all this praise, punishment, and control fit it?

I have to admit that the praise and punishment is the tip of this iceberg. We don’t tend to think of each other in neat compartments. Mrs. Lion owns the sexual compartment, I own the bill paying one. It is never that easy for either the caged male or his keyholder. But if we are to make long term forced chastity work, we need to do just that. Somehow we need to figure out how to support the keyholder led sexual relationship inside a more traditional partnership. By extension, if other areas of life outside the cage are also involved, the solution must include them as well.

In terms of actions, it may be simpler. If we agree (Mrs. Lion and I) on the boundaries of her keyholder authority, then what is and isn’t inside of our play should be clear to both of us. It still doesn’t help with the emotional components that make it so difficult to be a keyholder.  To the caged male the temptation is to say, “All you have to do is…..” I realize this sort of advice, aside from topping from the bottom, isn’t at all helpful. Mrs. Lion is doing her best to work into this difficult role. I have to be patient and constantly remain aware just how much I am asking her to change. It turns out that wearing the cage is the easier job.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Over the last fifteen years I have experimented with forced male chastity and the various devices available to enforce it. I’ve also read lots of stuff by males who buy devices alone or with a partner. The biggest rookie mistake by far is over-concern with “Security.” Guys have spent countless thousands of dollars on devices that claim to prevent arousal and orgasm. Some are pretty effective.

If you are new to this and contemplating the right choice in chastity hardware, you are reading at the right time. First and foremost, if you lock yourself up or have your keyholder lock you up, is it a challenge to see if you can get off despite the hardware? If it is, that’s ok, but this isn’t the right blog for you. If you aren’t, then it’s time to get real about hardware. There is a rule in chastity hardware: The more secure the device, the more uncomfortable to wear. Let’s look at what security entails.

The main purpose of a chastity device is to keep your hands off your penis. A secondary purpose is to prevent you from inserting it anywhere that is not authorized by your keyholder. Virtually every device is designed to prevent you from getting yourself off while wearing it. That’s the real purpose. Are they effective? That is the big question. If the purpose is to prevent you from ever having an orgasm without permission and being unlocked, nothing including full belts really work.

A solo chastity belt wearing male spent a lot of money for a full belt. No physical access to his penis was possible. The locks were protected by hard stainless steel. Escape was functionally impossible. After wearing it two months, he returned to the maker and said that he needed a stainless steel bra. A bra? Yes. The man learned that if he played with his nipples, he could come. Sex is in the brain, not the penis. One way or another, someone determined to come will do it.  So what are you looking for if you want to be caged?

In my opinion you want a device that will prevent erection and will prevent casual penis play. The moment you go for “security” beyond that, you are going to regret wearing the device. For example, pretty much every cage can be escaped by forcing the flaccid penis out behind the cock and ball ring. If the ring is too loose, that is easy to do and you might even be able to reinsert after you finish playing with yourself.  To combat this, many makers offer little points (dull or sharp) that will hurt like hell if you try to pull out. What they don’t tell you is that when you try to get hard, and we all do in our sleep if nowhere else, those points will dig in and wake you up with the pain.

Another rookie mistake is buying with a too-small cock ring. The thinking is that if the ring is tight enough, pull out is impossible. That’s true, but you won’t be wearing it very long. A too-tight ring is very painful and cuts off circulation. Similarly a too-loose ring will let balls escape on their own. That’s not so pleasant either.

The goal is, believe it or not, comfort. You want a cage you can comfortably wear forever without having to remove it. This requires careful measurement and some trial and error. I am very happy that my Jail Bird is so comfortable that I usually don’t feel it at all. I can go about my life without it making things more difficult. It is also very effective. I can’t get myself off while it is on. As I wrote before, my attempted erections are only the length of the cage. In short, it does its intended job without upsetting my life. Make your goal comfort. Your will power plus a decently fitting cage is enough to assure your forced chastity.