Cosmopolitan did a study and 70% of the men said they had fantasies of being tied up. 80% of the women said they wanted to be tied up too. I’m not surprised by the number of women who dreamed of bondage. When I was topping, there was never a shortage of willing female victims. If you look at those numbers, there’s really no one left to do the tying. Forced chastity is bondage. The caged male is restrained from access to his penis.
Clearly, almost everyone likes the idea of being tied up, at least at some level. Being tied up means losing control. I suspect that means very different things to men and women. For men, at least like me, it means I no longer get to orgasm when I want. I am at the mercy of my keyholder. Based on my experience and years of workshops with men and women, I suspect that many of the women want to be tied up for the opposite reason; they want to be liberated from the social and moral restrictions on unrestrained pleasure. Almost every woman I topped wanted to be teased to the edge of orgasm and then allowed screaming release. In 2014 that may seem quaint since we are post-feminine liberation and women are not only allowed to enjoy sex, they expect us to give them at least as much fun as we have. Nevertheless, almost all of us, male and female, crave the ability to just give in to sensations and come! Bondage is a great tool to permit that.
What does this have to do with forced male chastity? I think it has a lot to do with it. The odds are three to one that your keyholder has had fantasies of being tied up. She has probably imagined amazing sex while she was helpless to resist or complain. No, this isn’t a rape fantasy. It’s consenting lovers. Now, consider what happens when a male asks to be locked up. If your partner is one of the 70% she may be confused. Her fantasies are about glorious sex while helpless. Yours is about no sex. It doesn’t compute, at least at first. Men and women look at being tied up through very different lenses.
Do you agree that a chastity device is a form of bondage? It is for me. It graphically announces that I have no say in when I will have my next orgasm. Did anyone ask a new keyholder if she wants to decide when you will come next? Did she even think that far ahead when she agreed to lock you up. Since we know that eight out of ten women fantasize about being tied up themselves, could you generate some resentment because you are getting your fantasy and she isn’t? It doesn’t matter that she may never have wanted to make that fantasy come true, on some level she may resent your ability to realize a dream that she can’t.
I know I am not right about 100% of the women who may read this; only 80%. This difference is not insurmountable. I topped for most of my adult life even though I have always wanted to be tied up. Just because I let out my inner submissive doesn’t mean that Mrs. Lion will forever resent that I got “there” first. It does mean that both of us have to be sensitive to each others feelings. As the lucky partner who gets to be tied up, I need to be sure to find ways to provide the pleasure that my lioness isn’t getting because I got tied up first.