Month: May 2014 (Page 2)

lottery
If I win the lottery, we will have the dungeon of Lion’s dreams.

I tell Lion there’s no way I would ever win the lottery. Aside from the incredible odds against it, I used up all my luck when I found him. However, that doesn’t keep me from spending all that money in my mind.

As many people would, first I’d pay off our bills. Not that there are many, but it would be great not having them hanging over our heads anymore. No more car loans. No credit card debt. And there are things we’ve been putting off buying because they are wants rather than needs. No more! I’ve got a lottery check burning a hole in my pocket!

Lion might be off buying the latest Ferrari, but I’d be searching for a house. We don’t need anything extravagant. Personally I’d like a kitchen that two people can fit at the same time without being in each other’s way. And for Lion I’d like a dungeon that rivals Christian Grey’s play room. We do have a dungeon now, but it’s not a dedicated room. There’s a treadmill and other exercise equipment. There are bookshelves. There’s a lot of extra stuff that just gets thrown in there because there’s no other place for it to go. There are the cabinets for the toys. And in the middle of the room is the sling. It doesn’t get as much use as Lion would like. His new dungeon would be just a dungeon. Decorated in whatever style he’d like. Stocked with anything and everything Lion wants. So many different crosses and benches and racks to restrain my sweet Lion. So many paddles. So many floggers. So many possibilities.

And, since we’ve won the lottery, we don’t need to work. We’d have a maid and a gardener and a cook and a butler. No more housework. No more yardwork. We’d have all sorts of time to play. Lion could be restrained more often. I can almost hear him purring at that idea. Of course he’d still be caged. He may be allowed out a bit more so I can play with him, but he certainly doesn’t need to be wild to be restrained. With all the new equipment I could get him in the best position for whatever I’m doing to him. Buns front and center for a good spanking. Ass front and center for butt plugs and dildos. Balls front and center for clothes pins or bondage.

I think I might just have to go buy a lottery ticket.

time for questions
The early hours of the morning is a time for a sleepless lion to ask himself hard questions.

(Wednesday, May 28 2014) Lying in bed awake in the predawn hours, my mind was very active. I started thinking about my forced chastity. It didn’t help that I had an insistent erection being frustrated by my cage. The erection wasn’t uncomfortable or painful in any way. Like most men, I get them regularly during the night and early morning. They very rarely wake me. This was the case last night. I just woke up and sleep refused to return. At times like this I tend to have my most pessimistic thoughts. I tend to question all sorts of things. Last night my erection turned me toward my chastity.

Why am I doing this? Is Mrs. Lion really locking me up only because I want it? What would happen if we just stopped? I also thought about this blog. Is it a good idea to publicly share our most intimate moments? Why do I publish a list of my sexual activities on a chastity blog? What was I thinking? On the evening before: How did edging turn into yet another ruined orgasm? What am I doing wrong? Why do I try to escape a spanking I know I earned and I asked for? Questions, questions, questions!

Some of these questions do deserve answers. So here goes:

Why do I list Lion’s Adventures on a chastity blog? In the beginning I thought it would be useful to record how things changed for me after being locked up. The statistics to date tell an interesting story: I am having more sex than before I was locked up. Interesting. I think it is time, however, to stop recording and publishing these events. Mrs. Lion disagrees and the page will continue to be updated.

Why am I doing this? This is the most difficult question. It’s one I struggle to answer. The simple fact is that fifteen years ago I read something about forced male chastity. It struck a chord in my psyche. It probably related to my arousal at the thought of control being taken from me. It also comes back to my difficulty initiating; probably because I have a sexual submissive nature. This is in sharp contrast to the rest of my life where I am outgoing and aggressive. It might be a Yin Yang balance of energy in my spirit. Whatever it is, from the day I first read about it, I was hooked. I spent years testing and reviewing chastity devices. Over the last few years I didn’t think about it too much. Then, by chance I discovered that Amazon.com sold inexpensive chastity cages. I got excited and ordered a couple. I liked what I tried and I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. She did and here I am now ensconced in my little cage for over three months.

Why is edging turning into ruined orgasms? What am I doing wrong? These are very good questions. When Mrs. Lion pushes me close to the edge, even though semen doesn’t emit immediately, I lose my erection and then it oozes out. When that happens, it does feel like the beginning of an orgasm. The muscles in my upper thighs tighten and hurt a bit. Then it stops. It’s not Mrs. Lion’s fault. Clearly I have a hair trigger when I get close. It’s like there is no time between strong arousal and ejaculation. It isn’t that I come immediately. She has to play with me for at least five minutes or more first. It’s just that I go from really excited to ejaculation in no time. We both have to work on this to see if we can separate the events more. In this case, practice makes perfect.

Is Mrs. Lion locking me up just because I want it? The obvious answer is yes. That was true from the beginning. The middle-of-the-night question is more difficult: is my chastity becoming part of her life the way it is for me? If it isn’t, what does that mean for me going forward? The obvious pessimism is present in the questions themselves. Of course, I don’t know the answer. My guess is that while locking me up isn’t yet a part of her life, the changes we are both making are turning the experience into something she wants too. We are both much more aware of each others sexual needs. Mrs. Lion’s libido is growing. If this becomes more important to her depends on where she can find pleasure in my chastity. If she finds herself aroused by either my cage or the changes I make because of the cage, then I imagine I am locked up for keeps. If not, the only thing keeping me in this is my desire to be there. I want that choice not to be mine. If I get tired of my cage, I hope by that time Mrs. Lion will not even consider a request to release me. In the middle of the night, I can’t really believe that will ever happen. Now, in the light of day, I am more optimistic.

What would happen if we just stopped? I thought about this last night. Let’s say that when tonight, Mrs. Lion unlocks me for a doctor appointment tomorrow, I ask her to just put the cage away and she agrees. How will things change? Will we go back to our former existence where we had little sex and no communication about it? Would she still want to spank me and tease me? Would I masturbate if frustrated? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out. Good thing I still want to be locked up.

Why do I try to escape a spanking? I think I do know the answer to this.  I think it is normal to try to stop the pain and escape. I wriggle and roll over and only reluctantly roll back for more. I think this confuses Mrs. Lion. After all, I want the spanking, why shouldn’t I lie there and take it? I think I do know the answer to that. In my mind the spanking is something that turns me on to want and think about later, but the true turn on is that she is doing something to me that I hate and am powerless to stop. I think she needs to prevent me from escaping and focus on administering the paddling I need. She can put me over the edge of the bed and straddle my back or tie me down, but I don’t think I can lay still and take it; at least not yet. I suppose she can let me know that if she needs to restrain me, I will get much more and encourage me to take it. If I try to turn over, then restrain me and start again. That thought contributed to my pre-dawn erection.

Another thought I had was about this blog and its effect on us. I think we are communicating to each other via our posts. I want to be clear that today’s post is not intended to send any messages to Mrs. Lion. It’s just what I was thinking about.  What do you think about?

running person
Sometimes work, both home and office, make being a keyholder a stressful job.

I have a full time job. To earn extra money I took on a second job that I can work from home. Also at home is another job-housework. And Lion. From 8-4 my first job gets most of my attention. If I worked with Lion and he made as many mistakes as I have to correct in a single day his tush would be beet red. It has gotten fairly stressful. When I get home I just want to vegetate. I know my second boss needs me to put in some hours. I know I need to make dinner and take care of the house. I know we’re getting ready for a trip. I know Lion wants attention. I know I’m not sleeping very well. I know many of my fellow keyholders have similar stories.

Sometimes life is stressful. How do you find time to be keyholder? Maybe you’ve worked eight hours or more, cooked dinner, done the dishes, helped the kids with homework, gotten them to bed, and now your caged male is expecting your attention. The popular answer on some male chastity sites is that it’s your turn now. If he wants attention then he should do your bidding. Foot rub, back rub, bring you a drink, give you an orgasm. Some nights this may be the answer. Other nights you may just want to be alone. Too much human contact throughout the day.

It’s hard to find a balance. Lion says I should take all my stresses from the day and transfer it to him in the form of a spanking. I don’t feel comfortable taking out my frustrations on him. It sounds a little too much like domestic violence to me-the husband has a bad day and comes home and smacks the wife around. Except in this case Lion really is asking for it. I guess some people see that as a win-win. He wants sore buns and I have pent up energy. So far I haven’t been able to do it.

And just because I can work that second job from home, on my laptop in front of the tv, doesn’t mean I always want to do that. Many times when Lion leaves the room I will mute the tv just to get rid of the incessant rambling. Sometimes I need a little quiet so I work from my desktop pc in another room. Lion is a sensitive guy. He tends to think I’m mad at him when I say I need to be alone for a bit. This is also difficult when I need some “me” time. He feels bad because he thinks I don’t want to be with him and I feel bad because he feels bad.

The point is, being a keyholder is work. All relationships take time and effort. Once the power aspect is introduced it becomes more difficult. I am now in charge of him. He has certain expectations. How do I meet those expectations given all the other expectations put on me? You can’t do it all. At least you can’t do it all, all the time.

In some respects I’m lucky. Lion knows how hard it is to be in charge. He’s done it. But he’s a unique individual. Most caged males have not been tops. Most think they’ve done the hard part by giving themselves over to their keyholder. I can’t imagine the amount of strength it takes to give up control of a penis. It’s been their favorite toy since birth and now it’s hidden away. It’s their keyholder’s responsibility now. When will they get to come? When will they be teased? When will they be allowed out to do a full cleaning? And then there’s the whole issue of rules and punishment. Which rules? What punishment? The caged male may be stressed about these questions but the keyholder is the one who has to answer them and perform the tasks. That can add a lot of stress to an already stressful day.

The biggest responsibility you have may be to communicate this to your caged male. Let him know what you have on your plate. Let him know where they fit in the overall scheme of things. Let him know, if you know, how often you plan to give him attention. I’m not talking about a schedule necessarily. Maybe just some guidelines. Every few days, only Saturdays, when you do the dishes I’ll tease you, when you cook dinner I’ll give you an orgasm, etc. It won’t stop him from giving you the sad, puppy dog eyes, but maybe his expectations will be more realistic.

Addendum: I never meant to imply that Lion does nothing. He has a full time job. He helps out around the house. My intent was only to show that in addition to all the other things a keyholder does, she now has the added responsibility of caring for her caged male.

turned off switch
Sexual control often extends past preventing erection and orgasm.

(Tuesday, May 27 2014) One of the reasons I wanted to be caged was my desire to feel Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. We have been learning exactly what this means. The obvious meaning is, of course, controlling if and when I get to orgasm. Does this mean that there are only two ways to experience this control: making me wait longer and longer to come, or making me come more frequently than I want? If that’s the case, my opportunities to orgasm will be further and further apart. Is that the only way to do this?

I, for one, would rather not be made to wait months for an orgasm in order for Mrs. Lion to demonstrate her control. Given, our rediscovered sex life I would hate for that to happen. I do agree with her recent post that demonstrating control by increasing my waiting time is a good idea. I just don’t want this wait to get longer and longer. Of course, that isn’t my call and I am prepared to wait as long as she makes me. Is there any other way to demonstrate this control?

It seems to me that sexual control also extends to rules that I am required to obey and the discipline I must experience if I disobey. In my mind, being disciplined is the strongest expression of control. This probably goes back to my childhood where there was virtually no discipline. I think I associate discipline, which requires noting my behavior and reacting to it, as an expression of love. This isn’t universal. Many caged males see sexual deprivation the same way I see discipline.

It may make no sense on the surface. How is spanking or giving me a correction with the shock collar sexual control? To me, knowing that Mrs. Lion will do these unpleasant things to me is a big turn on. I get aroused thinking about her corrections and spankings. However, the actual correction or spanking does not arouse me. I hate it when it happens. Later, after the pain subsides, my memory of the discipline is arousing. I get a similar set of feelings from tease and deny as well. But the biggest turn on for me is the discipline.

Forced male chastity is an obvious and very strong expression of loss of control. I realize I have lost the ability to get hard and to make myself come. I like that a lot. However, I don’t feel a constant yearning to get hard and get off; at least up to now. That could change if I am teased and forced to wait longer. I don’t know. If I think about being forced to wait a few more days for being naughty, or more powerfully, being spanked or shocked, always starts a “chubby” in my cage.

Does that mean I could feel Mrs. Lion’s control without the cage? I am sure it does. But the chastity device I wear serves a purpose that goes beyond control. It provides an unmistakable reminder to Mrs. Lion that I am completely dependent on her for any sexual activity; that my penis is only available to me for urination. None of the fun stuff is under my control. I like that feeling. One of the most dramatic and frightening-to-some-men aspects of forced male chastity is the absolute loss of independent sexual activity. I not only can’t masturbate; I can’t even get hard. That does reach deep into the male psyche.

One reason that forced male chastity isn’t more popular is the absolutely real loss of sexual control. Unlike “play” where the man is disciplined during play sessions but is free to function independently the rest of the time, caged males have a permanent loss of sexual control as long as his keyholder keeps him locked in. I haven’t seen a case when just lockup and sexual deprivation is enough. Virtually all caged males need additional control and discipline as well. This makes the keyholder’s job more complex than just locking up her male and giving him an occasional orgasm. It also explains why only a small number of women are willing to pursue this long term.

One of the key ways we caged males can help our keyholders succeed and feel satisfaction with their skill at male control is to clearly communicate what works for us. I honestly didn’t know what to tell Mrs. Lion when we started. I am very grateful she loves me enough to experiment. I am learning what works for me and she is learning what works for her. We are communicating better than we ever have. We are both growing. Most importantly, we are both actively working to please each other. I am trying my best to reawaken her libido and please her more and more. She is working hard to make me feel her sexual control. I can’t ask for more than that.