Many of my posts are about how much I love my Lion. And when I think of this site, more often than not, I see it as a love story. Sure it’s about playing and sex and that little cage my cock is locked up in. But for me, it’s about rediscovering my husband.

I never stopped loving Lion. We had drifted very far apart. When he approached me with the chastity idea I thought it was just another one of his games. I figured we’d do it for a while until we (read that as I) got bored and that would be the end of that. But something has happened. That piece of intertwined metal has changed our lives. I’m sure this blog has had a lot to do with it, too. I know I’ve learned a few things I never knew about him. And along the way maybe we are helping people who join us here.

Locking Lion away has somehow freed him. He now seems willing to attempt initiating sex. At least some forms of sex. Before it was all about him. I would have to make the first move-unless you count the first move as wriggling closer to me and announcing he was horny-and he was the only one who got attention. Now he’s fingering me on a Sunday afternoon. Forget any progress I may have made, that’s the real progress!

Part of me wonders, if the cage came off, would things go right back to the way they were, losing everything we’ve learned? I don’t want to take a chance. This is too important.

I never stopped loving Lion, but I’m really enjoying falling in love with him all over again.

rainy day
Snuggling naked in bed on a rainy day is a warm cozy feeling.

(Sunday, May 25 2014) In the midst of doing chores on Sunday, we decided to snuggle up in bed and watch some TV shows we recorded. It’s amazing how we sleep together naked every night, but somehow wrapped in his arms on a chilly, lazy Sunday made me feel closer to him than ever. And, as often happens, I can’t keep my hands off of him.

Lion was locked up and the key was way over there and it was warm under the blankets. So poor Lion was trapped. That didn’t keep me from teasing him. And eventually he started fingering me. I can’t tell you the last time I had an orgasm in the middle of the afternoon. As I was calming down I decided that night I  wanted another orgasm. I was going to ride my Lion and I wanted him to come inside me.

Later, after I removed his cage so he could take a shower and clean it, I decided that I wasn’t really in the mood for an orgasm myself. But I still wanted Lion to come inside me. Why would I want him to come inside me when I don’t want to come? Aside from the fact that it feels good, it’s been a long time since he’s done it. I wanted to please him, but even more than that, it’s like he has given me a gift. Part of him is inside me. And it makes me feel even closer to him.

It’s interesting that the cage, which is a barrier between us, has actually brought us closer. Maybe we should have invested in it sooner.

ruined orgasm
Ruined orgasm feels like a crashing door and after a bit, sticky semen just oozes out. Humiliating and frustrating for me.

(Sunday, May 25 2014)You’ve heard of “butt dialing”. Yesterday, I got butt zapped. Mrs. Lion had the remote for my invisible leash (Shock collar) in her pocket. She mentioned that in her post yesterday. At one point she must have bent over in a way that pressed the lion shock button. I jumped. She looked at me strangely. “You just butt shocked me,” I said. She smiled. In the past she would have been upset that she did something that hurt me without intending to do so. Now, she is amused. In her post the other day she mentioned how she was poised to use me for her pleasure. Last night, however, she decided to edge me over and over. She is clearly experimenting to see how far she can push me without generating a ruined orgasm. Last night she got very close three times. The fourth, she went just a stroke or two too far. Nothing happened at first, but after a minute or two a sticky fluid appeared; not much, just a big drop or two. My erection disappeared and more fluid escaped. It was another ruined orgasm. This one, however, was so close to just being teasing, my body had only the barest amount of stimulation to trigger a very pathetic ejaculation. It was very frustrating. Yet, I was done. I was unable to get hard again.

I always thought that as long as there was some semen still stored in the prostate, repeated ruined orgasms were possible. I know other males experience that. We didn’t really try to see if I could too. When I got soft, Mrs. Lion put me back in my cage. In a way I am frustrated. I long for the intensity of a full orgasm. On another level, I don’t feel aroused; not satisfied, but not aroused. This could be a function of my age. Sex isn’t as  urgent as it used to be. It also may  be due to the fact that Mrs. Lion hasn’t yet used me for her pleasure.

The essence of forced male chastity is, I think, that not only is the caged male deprived of sexual satisfaction, but that his keyholder gets very frequent satisfaction. The male has to provide this pleasure without receiving any for himself. He has to smell and taste her arousal and orgasm. This is, of course, naturally very arousing. Unfortunately for him, all he gets is the arousal without the opportunity to orgasm himself. I haven’t experienced that  yet, but based on what I am reading and  hearing, I will. I can’t help but wonder if I may regret wanting to be caged. I also wonder if unselfishly providing pleasure will open up new emotional connections for us. I don’t resent my ruined orgasms. I do feel intense frustration and regret, but no resentment toward Mrs. Lion. After all, as she likes to remind me, I asked for this.

One of the concerns she mentioned in her post was that I might orgasm before she is done with my cock. This concern and the reality that maintaining an erection in all intercourse positions is difficult for me, has led her to consider me using a dildo. I will be a bit jealous of the dildo, but I want to make her happy. Her post also mentioned something that means a great deal to me: she expects to get pleasure making me do these things. In the past she has said that she likes doing things for me, but not getting direct pleasure herself. When she begins this new program, I will get more edging, ruined orgasms, and waiting and she will get frequent orgasms I provide with my mouth, cock, and toys. Sounds like a win-win to me.

lion has shown a lot of patience waiting for me to try things with him.
Lion has shown a lot of patience waiting for me to try things with him. I hope it doesn’t run out any time soon.

The biggest flaw I have, and there are many, is that I’m inconsistent. Sure I talk a good game. I’ll do this. I’ll do that. I have to do this. I have to do that. Sometimes I actually do what I say I’m going to do and other times not so much. Last night was a not so much time. After all my talk about having Lion use a dildo on me I just wasn’t in the mood. I wasn’t really in the mood to do anything at all. But then I decided to edge him. Afterwards he said he was surprised I edged him. When I asked why he said because he had read my post and expected a different scenario.

Lion gives me way too much credit for making big changes. When we were in the grocery store it just so happened that I realized that he dropped the corn and, oh by the way, here’s my remote control zapper. I’m not consciously waiting for him to commit an infraction so I can correct him. It was just a happy accident. It was just as likely that I would see him drop the corn, shake my head at him, forget I even had the remote control, and walk away.

Actually neither one of us has a great memory. We can remember most important things. We can remember some really unimportant things. We are fairly good at the irrelevant things on Jeopardy. But Lion forgets that he has used a dildo on me in the past. Not for long and I don’t remember why we started or stopped. He never knew, much like I never knew that he masturbated a few times a week, that I have used a dildo by myself before I gave up on sex. Lionesses have needs too and if he couldn’t initiate I was going to take matters into my own hands. It did the trick but I discovered that the only thing worse than not having Lion initiate was not having Lion involved at all. So my eureka moment of having him use a dildo on me was not a new idea at all.

In a sense, I feel a certain amount of pressure to live up to what Lion wants. It may sound ridiculous to categorize his need for me to be pleasured as pressure, but consider this. For so long, I’ve done what he wants, according to his needs. Partially because I didn’t really care about sex and partially because tops do for bottoms. I don’t know if my libido will ever be strong enough to do everything he wants me to do. So I’m talking a good game. The mechanics of having an orgasm have never gone away. The desire was what went away. While I’ll certainly get enjoyment out of Lion’s efforts, it’s still work for me. I need to make sure that a good portion of my talk matches up with my actions.

I know Lion’s appreciative of everything I’m doing. I appreciate his patience. I just hope it doesn’t run out any time soon.