(Saturday, May 31 2014) Yesterday I talked about the challenge of presenting the idea of being caged to a potential keyholder. That is probably the most difficult of the chastity conversations. Once the decision is made to begin forced male chastity, then the fun begins. I know that for me part of being caged is turning over a lot of control to Mrs. Lion. This includes her control of other areas of my life. We do agree in advance which areas are covered, but once I give up control, I can’t take it back.
A part of this lifestyle is play. In our case it is tying me up sometimes, tease and deny, ruined orgasm, spankings, cock and ball bondage, ass play and other fun activities. Not every couple does all these things, but everyone does some. As Mrs. Lion pointed out in a prior post, these activities take up time in her already-busy schedule. Most of us end up prioritizing play at the very end of our busy schedules. Kids, job, shopping, chores, then play. As a result, we rarely get to play.
Mrs. Lion has two jobs. She and I take care of our house and pets. I have a demanding job that takes most of my time and energy. The one thing it is too easy to drop is play. Since I have been locked up, Mrs. Lion feels more pressure to provide activities for me. She is keenly aware of the pressures on her time and energy. Since I have been caged, dealing with me and my training have become more time consuming. As she wrote, she feels guilty that she isn’t giving me enough of her time.
I certainly don’t want her to feel guilt for not paying enough attention to me. But I have come to realize that it isn’t so much paying attention to me as it is paying attention to us. So much of our play is sexual interaction. We have allowed other things in life to push that interaction aside. Now we both feel we can’t do that any more.
The real problem, I think, is our belief that we have to do all of the other stuff before we have permission to play. Maybe it goes back to our parents telling us we can’t go out and play until we finish our homework. We have had this work ethic hammered into us our entire lives. I think the truth is that play is a very important requirement for a healthy relationship and a rewarding life. We may not be getting our priorities right. Yes, we do have to do our jobs. Obviously that is a survival issue. We need to take care of our pets and our house. But maybe we need to reconsider the priority we give all this stuff.
We can agree that health has to come first. We have to support each other and assure we are both as well as we can be. Second, we do need to assure we can pay the bills and feed ourselves. We must feed and care for our pets. Does something have to give? Maybe. In our case it may be the time we generally veg out in the evening. Mrs. Lion has been using some of this time for tease and deny and other sexual activities. It seems to be working well. We still don’t find time to go to the dungeon and play more energetically. I think that is more inertia than anything else.
My suggestion is that we schedule dungeon time. That way, Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to feel continuous pressure and guilt and I get to anticipate our next play time. I’m not sure when we will do this, but I will be asking Mrs. Lion to work with me to schedule a couple of hours once a week or so for this play. She can choose to use this time any way she wants. She can use some of it for discipline, some for anal play, spanking, cock bondage, etc. But we both agree to be ready and available.
I can see that this could become another source of pressure to Mrs. Lion. That isn’t what I want. I think that the pressure comes from feeling we aren’t doing enough. If we agree on a specific schedule, then it should stop being a source of pressure. I think that our work ethic is our worst enemy in all this. I am proposing that our play is a high priority. I hope Mrs. Lion agrees.