The earliest reading I did about forced male chastity featured docile obedient males instantly tamed by virtue of a device being locked on their genitals. If these guys were submissive to start, maybe I could buy the instant docility. Even now after months of being caged, I don’t find myself inclined to be docile. Reading forums devoted to male chastity and heavily screened to keep fiction out, I find very little along these lines either. In fact, the idea of male control (obedience, etc.) doesn’t frequently appear in the same context as forced chastity. I think it is easy to make the assumption that if a male allows his keyholder to take absolute control over his ability to enjoy orgasm or erection, then it follows that he will do anything to induce her to let him get off. In practice, for me at least, that isn’t the case.
This may be due to the fact that Mrs. Lion doesn’t make me wait very long between orgasms. She never uses the threat of extending my orgasm-free lockup for failing to obey her. It’s true that I have very little to do in terms of obedience. If I avoid dropping food (not easy for me), don’t get grumpy with waitstaff and clerks, and wait for permission to eat, I am obeying my keyholder. Failure to do either results in a shock if I have my leash on, or a small paddling later if I don’t. Neither has anything to do with my caging. I’ve always helped around the house, inside and out, and I cook frequently. So domestic duties don’t seem to be an area that needs exploring.
In my reading, I see that most of the writing by caged males is about living with the hardware. Some talk about length of being locked up. Is this the new “mine is longer than yours” discussion for caged males? Both caged males and keyholders write about tease and denial, ruined orgasms, masturbating and orally pleasing keyholders, and accidental male orgasms. Very little is written about obedience, punishment, or chores.
My conclusion is that ironically, forced male chastity is about sex; odd for something that prevents sex from happening. In most cases it is also about other things. For many it includes top and bottom play where the keyholder does classic BDSM topping of her caged male. This includes bondage, spanking, anal play, as well as many of the other forms of top/bottom play. As far as I can tell, it is independent of the forced chastity. You could argue that forced male chastity is a form of bondage. Strictly speaking that’s correct. Mrs. Lion and I have done top and bottom play for many years. The frequency of this play dropped off to almost nothing in the last six or seven years. So did most sexual activity, particularly for Mrs. Lion.
When I asked her to be my keyholder and she agreed, changes started happening. One of the first things I did after being locked up was to begin this blog. Mrs. Lion read it. More recently, she has become a regular contributor. It’s fair to say that the blog and my forced chastity began at about the same time. This combination has over the last few months, improved our communication, Mrs. Lion’s libido, my efforts to give her orgasm, and our interest in top/bottom play. It could be this blog; the fact that we are communicating through our writing. I am sure this is a valuable part of it. But I think that my cage is a bigger part. Both of us know that I am sexually dependent on Mrs. Lion. We both understand that she has to do something before I can even get an erection.
This knowledge motivates me to give her reasons to think about my sexual needs. These needs could range from wanting an orgasm to wanting to be forced to wait longer. Because her pleasure is also increasing, she has reason to consider resuming our top/bottom fun. I find it very hot to know that I have no control over my next boner or when I will be able to actually ejaculate. Wearing my electronic leash and knowing that even at a distance, Mrs. Lion can give me a forceful message under my balls. I also like the idea (as yet untested) that I will have to wait longer for an orgasm and perhaps will be made to wait even longer if naughty. As you might have guessed, a good part of the excitement of being a bottom for me is that I will be disciplined. I wrote about this in the past.
I can’t honestly say that we couldn’t do all the things that turn me on without my being caged. But I am sure that the fact I am locked up keeps our attention more focused on sexual fun. I know that for me it is impossible to forget that no matter what my mood, I can’t even get hard without Mrs. Lion letting me. That’s seriously sexy!
Well said. Thanks for the comments. So often, it seems, people place a stereotypical reaction to a circumstance that does not reflect the true personalities of the people involved.
At the end of the day, for chastity to be both long-lasting and effective, it must be about relationship and communication which it seems you and Mrs. Lion have accomplished.
The very best toy. wp