Emotional Changes

Yesterday, I talked about the practical changes I have had to make as a caged male. These changes, while inconvenient at times, are not very big the the overall scheme of things. I can’t get very put out about changing underwear or adapting to peeing sitting down. I think the emotional changes often are deal breakers for many males who try this lifestyle.

I think that many people see forced male chastity as one more kink in the spectrum of power exchange. Certainly it is fair to characterize it that way. However, most power exchange is limited to specific “play times” where the activities take place. Between these play sessions, life is normal for the people involved. Within defined time limits, play can be pretty extreme. However, unlike most power exchange, forced male chastity is often a full time activity. My cage (chastity device) only comes off for period hygiene, play time, and medical visits. I’m locked up almost all of the time with no end in sight.

That permanence can play some interesting games with my head. If Mrs. Lion chooses, I can remain in my cage with no break for as long as she wishes. When I’m locked up I can’t have sex, or even get an erection. It’s completely within her power to deny me another orgasm for the rest of my life. I know that isn’t very likely. Fortunately, Mrs. Lion really likes to make me orgasm, but it is within her power and our agreement for her to withhold any sexual expression at all for as long as she likes.

What if I’m horny? I know that thought occurs to all of us. The answer to that question is that I will remain horny until I get tired of it. Moreover, Mrs. Lion can attach “strings” to allowing me to get hard or orgasm. If I don’t want to take the “deal”, she can just let me remain in my cage. Being male, I know that my frustration will only grow over time. This is especially true if she takes me out for teasing and then locks me up without satisfaction. That activity is guaranteed to keep my attention sharply focused on my cock and its need to orgasm.

In many power exchange scenarios, the top must do something to encourage the bottom to obey. In my case, all Mrs. Lion has to do is leave me alone. My hormones supply the encouragement. Typically the bottom is the passive partner, receiving orders, obeying, being disciplined. Now I can be made the active member. If I want a chance to orgasm, I have to do things to please my top to induce her to let me out and let me orgasm. She doesn’t have to do anything at all.

I don’t know about other males, but perhaps due to my extensive experience with power exchange (on the top side), I am painfully aware that the top now has the easier job. She doesn’t have to do a thing to make me endure more and more frustration. I am powerless to cheat or otherwise deal with my sexual needs. That stainless steel cage may not be completely escape proof, but it is a sufficient deterrent to guarantee I am sexually powerless. I’m not used to being powerless. I don’t always like the feeling.

What is truly different in this case is that it makes no difference how I feel about my sexual needs and frustration. I’m locked in and that isn’t going to change. I’m already in my chastity cage. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to do a thing to keep me there.

The only “rebellion” possible for a caged male is to somehow lose interest in sex. If I don’t care about getting off, then all I have to deal with is the physical inconvenience of being in the device. Well, that sounds easy. I can gain the upper hand, or at least parity, by losing interest in sex. Unfortunately, nature has made it impossible for me to do that, especially with regular teasing. What would stop me from physically taking over during a teasing session? Theoretically, nothing would unless Mrs. Lion restrains my hands. We have a convenient eye bolt in the back of the headboard she can use for that purpose. Currently, she doesn’t restrain me. I think she should.

One of the things that attracts me to being caged is that irrevocable loss of control. That’s why I don’t like knowing where Mrs. Lion keeps my key (I know where it is, sweetie). I don’t like knowing I can overpower her and masturbate when uncaged. She and I both know that I won’t do that or use her key, but it removes some of the reality of her power by making it possible for me. We do have a spare key which I keep. It is in a metal container sealed with a numbered tamper-resistant seal. If I use that key, she will know and presumably can restrain me, then give me appropriate punishment.

In my case the emotional reward of being caged is the feeling of absolute loss of sexual control. So even though I would never (I think) take her key or jerk off when she has me unlocked, I would much rather know that I can’t do that. I’m drawn to the loss of power. I want that loss to be as real as possible. This includes not trusting me when I can get myself off.

I guess that’s what makes this a kink. I could easily practice unforced chastity by simply waiting for Mrs. Lion to get me off even though I have full access to my cock. I would probably be pretty good at it. But what really turns me on is that once I give away that access, I can’t take it back. I think this is what is so difficult for Mrs. Lion to understand. I am sexually aroused by knowing I can’t get aroused without her agreement. Every part of our forced chastity activity that gives me the opportunity to get around that loss of power also takes some of the fun out of it for me. What about you? How do you think of this?

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Femdom, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Male Control (training)

What do you think?