Should I Clean Up After Myself?

(Friday, June 20, 2014) Last night was amazing. Mrs. Lion began the festivities by inserting one of our Njoy butt plugs where the sun don’t shine. It’s been a while since I have had anything nestled in my ass. This is the smaller of the two we own. It has a nice shape for easy insertion and a narrow neck (see photo) that assures it gets locked securely inside. She left it in for about two hours. I had no real problem retaining it that long. With practice, I am sure I can accept a larger plug for a longer time. It felt good to do some anal play again.

Next, she put her painful velcro strap around my flaccid weenie (as she referred to it. For a picture of velcro on my penis, click here). She puts the prickly “hook” side toward my skin. as I get hard the pressure increases and the hooks dig in deeper. Predictably, she began playing with me and I agreeably got hard even though the tight velcro was quite painful. I can’t claim I didn’t like it, my hard penis would immediately show I was lying. She continued playing until all I could think about was finally getting to come (yesterday was my sixth day since my last orgasm). That wasn’t to be. She stopped dangerously close to the point of no return. She gave me a moment to calm down and began again. I don’t know how many times she repeated this. I just know that all of my attention was focused on finally getting to come. That wasn’t to be. She said she decided to let me wait. I asked if making me wait would cause her to lose interest. After all, in her post yesterday she mentioned it might. Sadly, she said that she wouldn’t lose interest. Poor Lion.

I remained wild (no cage) for another two hours while the plug remained firmly embedded in my ass. Finally, she removed the plug and put me back in my temporary cage (my Jail Bird is out being shortened). She had a much easier time putting it on this time. I was glad. It might encourage her to take it off again before my Jail Bird is returned.

It’s now a week since my last orgasm. The combination of waiting this long and the two teasing sessions has made it impossible for me to forget that I really want to come. My grumpiness seems to have passed. I just find myself thinking about how amazingly good it felt when Mrs. Lion was masturbating me and how much I wished she wouldn’t stop. At this point my interest in getting off is greatly increased. I can feel the need all the way into my cage. This, for me, is new. Up until now I have wanted to come, but there was no ache; just a desire to have an orgasm. Now it is a physical presence that insinuates itself into my every waking moment.

I’ve had a fantasy too; one that I’ve had before. In it, Mrs. Lion requires me to eat any semen she allows me to ejaculate. If she lets me come in her mouth, she kisses it back to me. If I am lucky enough to orgasm vaginally, she straddles my face for cleaning. No matter where or how, I end up consuming it. This will mostly remain a fantasy because Mrs. Lion really likes how my semen tastes. I don’t mind. It isn’t that tasty to me and in the moments following my orgasm, the last thing I want to do is have a semen snack.

I think the fantasy is instructive. It isn’t so much that I have a yen for eating semen. I don’t. It’s the last thing in the world I want just after coming. It represents my wish for Mrs. Lion’s control. This particular act has no redeeming sexual value to me. It isn’t hot. I don’t like doing it. That makes it a perfect symbolic representation of my wish for her control. I noticed that this fantasy came back to me each time she teased me this week. After giving it some thought, I think that the reason I am picturing it so vividly is that as time goes by after my last orgasm, I am becoming more and more aware that I am not in control sexually. I can only lie on my back and hope for release, all the while knowing it isn’t going to happen. Mrs. Lion will skillfully tease me by letting me think that my chance has finally come, only to stop just before that magic moment.

So, why think about eating semen? The answer turns out to be pretty obvious. I can’t eat it if I am not permitted to ejaculate. So, in my mind, it’s a sort of a bargain. I get to come and pay for it by consuming the product of my orgasm. Control. Clearly, my mental bargain doesn’t interest Mrs. Lion. She happily teases me and locks me up again.

I have not felt any compulsion to do housework or give Mrs. Lion a pedicure. According to the Internet chastity forums, I should feel an uncontrollable desire to perform beauty treatments and domestic chores. This lion is no more domestic now than before. He’s just massively horny. Of course, I have to admit that I am probably more amenable to requests at this point. I do understand that pleasing Mrs. Lion could be helpful in gaining her sympathy.

Having said that, I  know full well that at this point she is probably willing to get me off if I ask nicely. She, like me, is feeling her way through this longer term orgasm withholding. Given my fantasy and my more rational moments, I realize that it is my hope that I can’t convince her to get me off and that she will make me wait until she decides it is time.

Alternatively, she can plan and announce when I get my next chance to orgasm and then use extending that date as a way to assure my good behavior. That is a pretty common technique. It has value in that I will know if she teases me before my orgasm date, no matter how much I want release I won’t be getting it. That could add an interesting dimension to things.

I really don’t know what, if any change we should make. The only request I have is for Mrs. Lion to send me a powerful message that my desire or need to orgasm will have nothing to do with her decision to finally let me get off. If she wants to use my need as a training tool, that is fine too. I asked for it and I want it. I want it even if I decide I don’t want it. That’s why I am wearing a locked cage.