Keyholder 101: Sex Without Orgasm

man cleaning

I always wondered why some cage males fantasize about cleaning as something they “need” to do when caged. I understand now.

Last night Mrs. Lion teased me and spanked my cock and balls. It was difficult at times, but it left me with a feeling of contentment even though I am hornier than ever. There is a misconception about forced male chastity that can create some issues for a caged male. This misconception is that forced male chastity is about withholding sex from the caged male. It isn’t. It’s withholding orgasm and erection without permission. There is a critical difference here that I didn’t fully understand until I had been caged a while.

A couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Lion ignored me sexually for several days. I was safely locked in my cage and she provided no genital stimulation. My preconception about my chastity was that if I were ignored, I would lose interest in sex and being locked up would be much easier. I was wrong. If you think about forced male chastity as being in jail (which, of course, it isn’t), then being sexually ignored is like solitary confinement. For me, at least, it feels very lonely and sad. I was surprised when I felt this. I spoke to Mrs. Lion about it and she corrected the problem. It turns out that she did this intentionally. It was an experiment on her part. Being continuously locked up (no breaks for teasing or hygiene) is a very unpleasant punishment for me. I’m sure she will make use of this if necessary.

As a typical male, I always believed that sex had to include orgasm. Most women don’t think that way, but I think most males do. So, I reasoned, if I am deprived of orgasms, I’m not getting sex. I believed and have written that regular tease and deny is required to keep the male horny and focused on his chastity. It’s true. It does do that. But it has another, more important value: it provides sexual experience. It isn’t as odd as it seems. When I was alone and my only sexual outlet was masturbation, it never felt very satisfying. The orgasm felt great, but I still went away unsatisfied.

Now, when Mrs. Lion plays with me and teases me to the edge over and over, I feel very frustrated and ready to do anything to get an orgasm, but after she locks me up again I have a satisfied, just-had-sex feeling. I get the same feeling after bringing Mrs. Lion to some orgasms. Even if I never leave my cage, I feel that I have had sex. Most other caged males report similar responses to pleasing their keyholders. I always thought this was odd and probably just a manifestation of the male’s sexual fantasy about chastity. I was wrong.

I’ve commented about how some caged males say that they magically want to wear panties and do housework. If their sexual fantasies include such things, being made (allowed) to do them will also provide non-orgasmic sexual pleasure and satisfaction. This also explains why many men also want to be pegged (anally penetrated). It’s sex. It just doesn’t include orgasm. It’s clear that all this non-orgasmic, but sexual stuff is psychologically substituting for more traditional orgasmic releases. As a keyholder, you can substitute other, formally non-sexual activities, for orgasmic sex for your caged male. This is one argument in favor of extended waits between orgasms. The longer he has to wait, the easier it will be for you to substitute non-orgasmic activities for his former sexual releases. Of course this requires balance. Your male still requires orgasms. Over time he will require less frequent releases. However, regular release is a very good incentive for good behavior and is physically and psychologically important to male health.

Your caged male needs regular sexual attention for his mental health. He doesn’t need orgasms or erections on demand. But he needs to be handled regularly. He also will benefit from being allowed to bring you to orgasm and provide any other sexual services you like. Many males fantasize about long waits with no stimulation. I suggest you restrict the no-stimulation time to a week or less unless he is in “solitary” for a serious offense.

Many of the behavioral changes, like my grumpiness, are less the result of orgasm deficiency and more a cry for more sexual activity. After last night, I am pretty desperate to come. It’s been only four days, but all that stimulation does focus me on wanting to come. However, I feel like I have been having regular sex. Emotionally, I am satisfied and happy. Sexually, I would really, really like to ejaculate. So goes the life of a caged lion.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Femdom, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex
2 comments on “Keyholder 101: Sex Without Orgasm
  1. Thomas K says:

    Hi Lion… I am curious about u wearing the chastity at night. I get a hard on in the middle of the night… Like most men do, i then go to the toilet(for a Little pee) and then hope for the magic wand to relax, but nooooo ! I then go to bed and lie on the bed with my knees crumpled up under my belly. Then i take deep breaths into my stomach. I`ve found out it helps some times, and some times it dos`nt, and thats when i get a problem,`cos i cant sleep for the rest of the night !!! (it wont get flacid). So how do u deal with that experience in the night ?
    Kind regards Thomas

    • Caged Lion says:

      My Jail Bird is comfortable even when I try to get hard. Of course I can’t get a full erection, but three is no discomfort or loss of sleep. I’m not sure what is causing you distress.