Lion has been working on his pathetic look. So far it doesn’t look much different from his hey-baby-wanna-get-busy look. It makes me laugh at him.
But the other night he said something that almost made me let him have his long sought after orgasm. I’ve been thinking about how stupid I was to waste time not giving him sex because I was being stubborn. Why did it matter that he never initiated? Why did it matter that I wasn’t in the mood?
Lion is quite a bit older than I am and, selfishly, sometimes I worry about him not being around in the future. (The distant future. I’m not trying to get rid of him.) So it stopped me in my tracks when he said he may not live long enough to have another orgasm. I know it was just his “poor me, I’m so horny” grumbling, but since I had just been thinking about my stubbornness a few nights before that, I almost gave in. And I hated that I gave him a specific date for his next release. And thatáhe had no chance of earning time off or extending time.
I thought I was getting better at denying him. More confident. It wasn’t bothering me. Then, even before he made the comment, I had a flash of desperation (for want of a better word) to make him come. I know I’m in charge and I can take his orgasm any time I want. But I made a decision and I don’t want to go back on my word. I’m definitely not a fan of waiting. I know some caged males wait weeks or months. I’ve teased him that I’ll make him wait months, but I can’t even imagine making him wait twelve days again. And this has nothing to do with his whining. It’s me who can’t wait. And I just wrote about determination. What a fraud!
Lion wrote this morning about the need to censor himself in his posts. I’m sure now he’s thinking he can’t make any comments at all without censoring himself. As I said, I wanted (needed) to make him come before he grumbled. So my wonderful Lion, don’t you dare censor yourself! That would be a good way to earn one of those nasty punishments you’ve been looking for; maybe even an extension of time locked in your lonely cage with no one to play with.
Last night I teased him to the edge several times with little to no rest in between. I usually give him a minute or two before I continue. Last night I was fighting with myself. Devil Mrs. Lion wanted to make him wait. Angel Mrs. Lion wanted to make him come. Eventually I “broke” him. He wasn’t able to get hard anymore. Too much teasing. It’s probably just as well. If he had been able to continue I might have let him come. Afterwards he told me how good I’ve gotten at teasing him (thank you, my pet) and I told him he wasn’t the only one frustrated that we have to wait. I think he was surprised. He didn’t know this is driving me crazy too. Well, dammit, it is! Five more days. Grumble, grumble, grumble.