What If I Want You To Wait A Year?

Last night Mrs. Lion asked me the big question: “What if I want you to wait a year?” I was speechless. I really don’t want to wait anywhere near that long. Of course, the only answer I could give is, “I will.” She followed up by saying that she wasn’t really thinking of making me wait that long, but wondered what my reaction would be. It was a very good question that gets to the core of the forced chastity experience. Is extending wait times the way to keep this lifestyle going?

One of the key difficulties in power exchange relationships is the escalating needs of one or the other partner. Usually the bottom keeps wanting to stretch limits, but sometimes the top does too. Over time, this just can’t continue. At some point the escalation goes past reason and gets into abuse or worse. The fact that it is consensual becomes moot. I’m not suggesting that making a male wait indefinitely is automatically abusive, since there are men out there who really want permanent chastity. Of course the problem with permanent is that people change; their needs and wants change, and relationships can also change. At least in fantasy, permanent lockup is erotic to some.

If we move things out of the realm of forever, we still need to consider exactly what extending wait time does. For the male, it obviously prevents him from having something that most of us consider our favorite activity. But that is far from the most central issue. Waiting extends the time when the male has to focus his sexual energy on his partner. Most of us like to give our partners orgasms. I know for me this has been true whether locked up or not. It is a feeling of power and strength to be able to evoke such massive pleasure in my partner.

If you put this pleasure giving in the context of forced chastity, it has even more meaning. In some relationships the male’s opportunities to orgasm depend on how satisfied he makes his mate. He learns that his ability to come is directly dependent on the quality of orgasms he gives his partner. In other relationships, providing keyholder orgasms is part of his job and has no effect on lockup time. There is no right or wrong way to play this.

In our relationship, Mrs. Lion currently has a reduced need to orgasm. So her sexual pleasure is not a factor in my opportunities to orgasm. She has been struggling to come up with some reasonable plan for how long I am locked up. This week we used her number cards. She created cards that ranged from one to twenty-one. She picked one and showed it to me. It was a six. So my wait now is six days. I’m not sure how satisfied Mrs. Lion is with this method. Neither of us reacted strongly to the process of picking a number.

I think she favors a more open approach where I have no idea when I will get my next chance to orgasm. I think I prefer this too. The uncertainty each time she teases me will be exquisite. More importantly, she doesn’t have to decide anything in advance. She can decide on the spur of the moment if she wishes. Ultimately this could be more fun for both of us.

Tom Allen, in a recent post on his blog, The Edge of Vanilla, described how his wife would ask him, “You can wait another week, can’t you?” He would agree. Eventually the extra weeks turned into fifteen months. I am not suggesting that Mrs. Lion use this strategy to make me wait a year, but I do think it is a great way to help learn to accept difficult things. Mrs. Lion has adopted this approach to spanking. She’ll tell me, “Just three swats on each cheek with this paddle,” and then deliver the three hard swats to each cheek. She’ll then say, “Good! Now we will do four to each cheek.” This will go on until she has decided I had enough.

I really like this approach since it divides my suffering into bite-sized bits. It helps me accept the level of spanking she wants to deliver. It also may help her to give me more and help me learn to accept more serious spanking without trying to escape. I think the same is true of waiting. I’ve been thinking about why I like this approach so much. I think it is because in an odd way I feel that Mrs. Lion is sharing my suffering and trying to help me handle it more easily. I realize this is not the case since by definition, she is the source of it. But it works. Go figure! It may go back to the maternal, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Whatever the reason I know it helps me.

 

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion’s first mouth soaping was 7/17.

What do you think?