Boredom

All those years ago when Lion and I started playing, I said I thought doing the same things over and over could get boring. He took that to mean I would get bored with him. From time to time he asks if I am bored with him. I am not bored with him. But, to me, there are two separate issues here.

Am I bored with Lion? No. I’m not sure how I could be bored with him as a person. I love him more each day. How could I be bored with him if I feel that way? Am I bored with what we do? I’m not talking about work, or laundry, or whose turn it is to make dinner. Of course I’m bored with that. I’m talking about our sexual activities. Well, yes, I can get bored with that. I think the cage added a new dimension to things, but even that can be boring from time to time. I do have a rather large bag of tricks, but it’s still the same things over and over.

Sometimes I’m just bored and that’s all there is to it. I can have lots of things to do and still feel bored. What’s for dinner? There must be millions of choices but I’m bored. I can’t explain it. I think, to some extent, my portion of our recent doldrums might be boredom. If that’s the case then it will cycle through and it won’t matter if I pick a number next time.

The bad old days were probably a mixture of boredom and annoyance that Lion would not initiate. It’s not a stretch to say that if I wasn’t getting what I needed and I was bored by what he needed, then I’d just stop all activities. The key now is to get past it without losing ground. I can’t just wait and assume it’s just a phase. I can’t allow my inertia to win. All I have to do (that’s a phrase I am particularly sensitive to lately because it oversimplifies the work involved) is push through. Just keep swimming. I wouldn’t be able to do that if I were bored with Lion.