Month: August 2014

Lion’s food poisoning took a lot out of him. He spent most of yesterday resting. He did say he felt horny though so we tried for his belated orgasm.

It took a while to get him erect and then he lost it before he could climax. He says maybe he’s broken. I think he just needs more recovery time. This morning he asked if I wanted him to wear the shock collar. I think we should wait until he’s better. Or at least a little better than now.

I was thinking yesterday that if he hadn’t been wild already, I would have unlocked him once he got sick. There’s no sense making him deal with pinching and pee spraying when he’s feeling horrible. And his punishment swats are on hold as well. Not that he’s supposed to enjoy them but he certainly wouldn’t get any benefit now. He did ask that I  not save all punishment up for one time, but so far he only has those four swats coming. And I wouldn’t punish him for things he did while he’s sick. Any insubordination or mistakes would probably be due to exhaustion and some lingering pain. He’s just not himself.

I’m hoping that one more day of taking it easy will do the trick. By bedtime, Lion will be frisky again and perhaps he’ll get his naughty Lion swats. And it will be business as usual again.

You know you’ve accepted male chastity if:

10. A bulge in your jeans worries you.

9. Using a public rest room is an adventure.

8. When  your keyholder plays with your penis, you know it will all end with you hornier than when you started.

7. Playing with yourself is trying to get your urethra lined up so you can pee in a straight line.

6. You think sex is something other people have.

5. You think blue balls is what you get when your base ring is too tight.

4. You consider semen something you eat.

3. Anal sex is taking something up your ass.

2. You have a sex dream and have to tell the beautiful, naked woman that you can’t have sex because your keyholder has you locked up.

1. You start to get an erection when you see a woman put a key in a lock.

 

 

 

Lion wrote about his latest ruined orgasm and suggests that he be punished for ejaculating without permission. Number one, we never had an agreement about that. I can’t just retroactively decide to enforce a rule I make today for something that happened days ago. Number two, I think he’s looking for ways to be punished.

After our eight hour drive yesterday (we always forget to factor in stops along the way) as we were setting up the RV, we had a leaky hose. Lion asked me to look at it to see where the leak was coming from. I did and started to tell him. He interrupted. When I snapped at him and finished my assessment of the leak he told me to check again because it couldn’t possibly be leaking from that point. This remark is dangerously close to something my ex would say. I rechecked the leak and, no surprise, it was leaking from the same spot I saw it the first time.

What Lion didn’t realize is that I brought some of his Good Lion and Naughty Lion coupons with us. As soon as we were all set up I wrote out a Naughty Lion coupon for his remark. He says he’s sorry he ever made them. Of course he wouldn’t be saying that if he had earned a Good Lion coupon first. He was to get four hard swats as punishment.

Then we went to dinner. Lion had oysters. Squishy things that don’t look appetizing at all. He said they were great. He followed that up with rare prime rib. It was still mooing. A few hours later, he had what I assume is food poisoning. He was up half the night in pain.

Needless to say, he didn’t get his punishment. Nor did he get his orgasm. As he said, it’s not the end of the world. I didn’t tell him we’ll try again in December. Things happen that delay plans. I think the reason I was so upset the other night, other than the fact that he was disappointed, is that I don’t have much to offer except my word, and I went back on my word that he’d have an orgasm.

We still have a lot of work to do. I’m sure I’ll disappoint him again. He needs to handle it better. I do too. But we’re in this for the long haul. We’ll figure it out.

[Lion — I didn’t suggest punishing me for not controlling my orgasms. I said that it seemed fair that I take some responsibility for it. I did say that others who have been trained this way did get spanked or something when they had an “accident”. In this case, I am not looking for punishment. I just think I should help by holding back.Negative reinforcement seems logical to me.]

Thursday’s ruined orgasm upset both of us. Mrs. Lion wrote about how it hurt her to disappoint me. It brought back feelings of inadequacy that were not far from the surface. I felt childish disappointment at losing my prize. I was wrong, of course. Her teasing was amazing. I was flying from the way she played me like a violin. She really has learned how to stimulate me like no other, including myself. So, when that stimulation went just a bit too far and I could feel myself squeezing involuntarily, I knew we had passed the point of no return.

I was sad and it showed. I could see that she was upset too. Things didn’t go the way either uf us wanted. Both of us overreacted. After all, one orgasm lost isn’t exactly a big deal. It wasn’t as if Mrs. Lion was going to say, “We’ll try again in December.”

All that really happened is that my wait was unexpectedly delayed a day or so. No big deal. In fact many keyholders do this sort of thing on purpose. So why all the pain? I think it is because we are both trying so hard to do the “right thing” for each other. I  have no small amount of guilt about selfishly wanting to bring this chastity fantasy to life. I had hoped that it wold turn out to be fun for Mrs. Lion. So far it hasn’t. She does it just because she knows I want it.

I realize that even after nearly seven months of this, she has yet to find anything in it that touches her. What a selfish person I must be to want her to continue. But I do. Why am I such a brat to openly express disappointment when all Mrs. Lion was doing was trying to make things more fun to me? Why should she feel badly and believe she did something wrong? She shouldn’t. The simple fact is that she has been doing everything right. She has been working hard to make chastity work for me. If I could love her any more for doing this, I would. But the simple fact is that I love her with all my heart with or without chastity.

She’s said that one reason it has become important to continue is that our chastity activities have forced her to stay focused on our sex life. It has for me too. This is a very good thing for us. While we are inseparable and absolutely mated for life, we both can let sex slip. The difference in our libidos makes it easier sometimes to avoid sexual contact rather than deal with those differences. A lot of that is my fault. Her lower interest level always made me feel like I was selfishly intruding with my “needs”. It became easier to deal with them myself than bother her.

The difference now is that we made a deal, a contract if you will, that we will pursue forced male chastity as I envisioned it for two years. This gets me what I have wanted, but it feels to me that so far I am the only one who is benefiting. This has to change or we will both find ways to feel badly about more and more.

Another realization that I have had is that perhaps Mrs. Lion should hold me responsible for unauthorized ejaculation. Other keyholders expect their males to only come when given permission, regardless of the stimulation. I’ve never tried this. Maybe I should. On the other hand, this can become just one more work item for Mrs. Lion with no real reward for her. I don’t want to add any more problems to what has become a difficult process for her that isn’t even pleasant.

Sounds like we should just stop, doesn’t it? I don’t think so. We both get some positives too. We are waking up our sexual feelings for each other. Under the guise of turning me on, Mrs. Lion has asked me to make her orgsm twice in the last month. For her, that is a very frequent schedule. I love that and I know she is having fun.

There may be light at the end of the tunnel. I expect we have a lot of work to do to get there. If she felt able, I deserved a hard spanking after that ruined orgasm: 1 for coming without permission and, 2 for upsetting my lovely lioness. Maybe she owes me another “Naughty Lion” coupon for that. I certainly didn’t do myself proud at all. I feel terrible about making her feel inadequate and sad. That’s unforgivable.

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