Guilty Pleasure

(Thursday, July 31 2014) If you read her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion talked about the fun evening we had. She provided an amazing oral orgasm. I was pretty horny and her touch, and later her mouth easily pushed me over the edge. She is doing a wonderful job making my forced chastity challenging and fun. I am not doing a very good job helping her libido. I feel that I have slipped back into my old pattern of letting Mrs. Lion do all the initiating. While she does need to initiate any sexual pleasure I get, she shouldn’t have to do it for her own enjoyment.

Weeks ago I resolved to attempt to initiate daily. This proved to be more annoying than pleasurable for Mrs. Lion. She wrote how her libido remained dormant. It’s become a Catch 22. I want to please Mrs. Lion and give her the mind-blowing orgasms she enjoyed in the past, but I don’t want to make her feel that there is pressure for her to get sex when she doesn’t want it.

So, after receiving such fantastic sex I feel guilty that I am not reciprocating. This isn’t her problem. I think it is an issue with communication. We haven’t developed a comfortable way to signal Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex. The traditional male chastity fantasy has the keyholder demanding sex frequently. Mrs. Lion just isn’t built to do that. It’s not a fault. I think it comes from her unselfish nature; she is ready to please but doesn’t want to ask for anything herself. There is no way she is going to turn into a demanding dominatrix just to satisfy some fantasy. It’s up to me to find a way to read the signals and then act on them. It’s simply not fair for me to expect Mrs. Lion to change. It’s up to me to make this work for her. I just don’t know how. That’s why I feel guilty, especially when she does so well pleasing me. I understand there is no simple solution. But there must be something I can do to return the favor.

On the other hand, it is perfectly fine for Mrs. Lion to not have an interest in her own orgasms. We are all built differently and at this time in her life she may not be interested in sex. I did worry for a while that it was because she is no longer attracted to me. I don’t think that is the case. After all, I’m irresistible. Just kidding. It’s completely wrong for me to expect Mrs. Lion to work to change her libido simply to make me feel better. I love her regardless of the level of her sex drive. Having said that, I still worry that I can do more.

This is truly about communication. I know how much I love sex and I find it hard to believe Mrs. Lion doesn’t share that love. I know this isn’t all about me. My role is to understand what Mrs. Lion might want each day and then provide it. I truly want to do that and do it well. So, instead of vowing to initiate every day, my goal is to work on discovering what I can do each day to please Mrs. Lion. I will ask her to help me make these discoveries. She shouldn’t feel badly that I sometimes feel guilty. That is my problem, not hers.

You may wonder what all this has to do with forced male chastity. I think it is very relevant. What I am experiencing is a collision between the classic chastity fantasy and our reality. I am very happy with how we are living with chastity. Mrs. Lion is a perfect keyholder. I just need to learn how to make sure that I, as her caged male, provide her with all the pleasure she wants.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex