Growing

It’s only been a few days since my last orgasm and I am already feeling frustrated and horny. I had always assumed that my desire for sex grew as the time since my last orgasm stretched out. This is, of course, true. But it isn’t uniform. Mrs. Lion and I had an intense, fun playtime on Sunday. I was massively horny on Monday and the feeling keeps growing. I woke up this morning with a chubby that took over fifteen minutes to subside. Clearly Mrs. Lion is doing something right.

She has been much more active in my anal training. Last night she inserted the Njoy plug and I wore it for three hours. It wasn’t very uncomfortable going in and for most of the three hours it felt fine. I don’t like the feeling when Mrs. Lion removes it, but that isn’t surprising and it is a very brief bit of discomfort.

During our Sunday play, Mrs. Lion pegged me with the Clone-a-Willie copy of my cock. I haven’t reached the point where I actually enjoy it, but I did start to feel like I wanted to pee. That sensation is usually caused by prostate stimulation. It could be that the dildo was massaging my prostate and if kept up, I might have been milked. I think that was the last thing either of us wanted at the time. It was my orgasm day and I would have been disappointed if I were milked instead.

I have long wondered about prostate milking. We have tried it on many occasions with no real result. Maybe the lion dildo is the key to success. From what I’ve read, if the semen is milked out by stimulating the prostate, the male loses sexual interest the same way he would if given an orgasm. Popular lore says that this technique can be used for just that purpose.

I’ve noticed that my language has changed a bit since being locked up. In the past, I’ve always referred to my orgasms as, “having an orgasm”. Now, since sexual control has been surrendered, I say “given an orgasm.” I think it is subconscious recognition that I no longer own my orgasms. I can only have one if Mrs. Lion gives it to me. This is much more significant than it might seem at first look.

For example, milking used to be something that piqued my curiosity. I still wonder about it, but wouldn’t even consider trying to stimulate myself. Like orgasms, I no longer feel they are mine to “have” or “take”. Another change is my feelings about corrective spankings. Often, if I break a rule like eating before Mrs. Lion or interrupting her, she will give me a couple of hard swats with a paddle. In the past I considered those swats as a brief, fun activity. Now, I find myself really trying not to break a rule. I don’t think it is the swats as much as some internal switch has been thrown that makes me want to obey more. I think that if Mrs. Lion were to increase the number of swats to the point I really hate those corrective spankings, I might improve even more.

So what do corrective spankings have to do with milking and anal play? The answer, I think, is that these activities send very clear control messages to my brain. Both are physical activities. They are done to me without my participation. Milking, while not discipline, is an intense activity that takes my ability to orgasm away and puts me in a very vulnerable position. Anal play is another activity that doesn’t require my participation or cooperation and involves some discomfort. Corrective spanking is the most direct form of physical control. Unlike the “fun” spankings that I love to hate, corrective spanking not only hurts, but also forcibly reminds me that I have done something wrong.

Since forced male chastity, to me, is about control, any activity that makes me helpless or dependent meets my desire to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. For me, chastity doesn’t have to be about long waits to orgasm. Mrs. Lion could give me an orgasm every day (not too fond of that) and still satisfy my need to be controlled.

I’m discovering that over the last six months, I am no longer “playing” at being sexually controlled. I am sexually controlled and without consciously realizing it, I am being trained by Mrs. Lion.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex