Second Thoughts

Mrs. Lion has been struggling with staying interested in playing with me. She has been writing about this lately. I have been feeling this loss of interest for a while now. It makes me want to be uncaged, not because I am upset with Mrs. Lion, but more because I am feeling that I am putting pressure on Mrs. Lion and making her life more difficult. This bothers me a lot. I feel selfish.

The giant rationalization that I hear over and over is that the caged male is really doing a favor for the keyholder. She is supposed to get sexual and household benefits as her side of locking up the male. In our case, that just isn’t true. Mrs. Lion says she doesn’t want more sexual attention and isn’t inclined to be a domestic taskmistress. I’ve just become another chore for her to do.

I think there is a good reason why she quickly loses interest in play activities. It’s because there is nothing in them for her. I suspect that this is the situation with many keyholders; they can’t find anything to hold their interest. While we males can sometimes find our penises endlessly fascinating, the female of the species just doesn’t share our enthusiasm. If a keyholder is a very sexual woman, then she can get a great deal more sexual attention from a caged male. In those fairly rare cases, forced male chastity is a win/win.

I’m not surprised that Mrs. Lion has trouble staying focused on our chastity activities. I am grateful and impressed that she works so hard to keep going. She sets herself goals as a way of maintaining interest. On one level I really love this. On a deeper level I just feel guilty that my desire for sexual control is becoming so much work.

This isn’t the sort of thing you might expect to find on a male chastity blog, but I suspect that I am not unique. For me, at least, the big question is what to do about this? Do I try to find ways to make playing with me more interesting for Mrs. Lion? Do I wait and hope she will learn to enjoy our play? Or, do I suck it up and just call it quits? I don’t want to feel guilty about this. I don’t want Mrs. Lion to feel she isn’t doing a good job and she is disappointing me.

We made a commitment to continue until March 2016. I have no doubt that Mrs. Lion will do this and even go beyond if I want her to. Would I be selfish to do this? There are really two questions all of this implies: If we stop, will we go back to an essentially sexless marriage and will we drift apart? If we continue, will our efforts to support force male chastity bring us closer together or push us apart? What is the real value of this practice to our relationship?

Our ninth anniversary is on Friday. We have been together 12 years in all. I love Mrs. Lion more now than I did all those years ago. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. None of my questions relate to whether or not we will stay together. We will no matter what. The question on the table right now is whether we will spend them with my cock in a cage or not? The bigger question is how will we improve our intimacy and sex life between now and our next anniversary? Will male chastity do the trick, or do we need to try something else?

 

 

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity
6 comments on “Second Thoughts
  1. Darren55 says:

    Sounds like you may need to get a third party key holder to take the pressure off . That way she will no longer be under pressure ,if she wants sex she can get what she wants with the options she has at the time and you can neg all you want but she is no position to comply with your wishes

  2. Mrs Lion says:

    I’m pretty sure adding another person would increase my stress rather than decrease it. It’s not like I’ve thrown in the towel. If I had then I don’t think I would be working so hard to get back to the way things were pre-doldrums. Giving up is not in our future.

  3. notbeinfringed85 says:

    It seems that I am in a somewhat similar situation yet completely different. My KH is transitioning from her first to second trimester, and is completely uninterested in sex. I remain locked with no release or teasing. The cage helps keep me centered, knowing that I need to help her more than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I’m horny as all hell, and I don’t let her forget that I’m caged, as I make sure she sees it and I rub it against her when possible. However, I don’t try to actually offer sex, as I don’t want her to feel obligated, since she doesn’t feel up to it. So for now, I’ll just stay behind the steel and wait out the drought, as this can’t last forever. Best of luck to you guys!

    • Caged Lion says:

      Thanks for the good wishes. It looks like Mrs. Lion has traced the source of her stress and loss of interest. Like you, I have to trust that with good will on both sides, things will work out. Besides, I am locked up like you and have no real choice anyway.

  4. Miss Laura's Pet says:

    I like the back and forth discussion in your blog between the two of you. Myself and my beloved are just beginning to define our femdom relationship, so it’s great to see the different perspectives. Do keep it up!

  5. Chris Smith says:

    I think ur openess not only helps ur relationship but also helps many other couples know they are not alone in the ups and downs (doldrums)