I have been wondering how to classify my full time chastity. The word “lifestyle” is defined as the way a person or group lives. That is pretty broad. Is permanently keeping my penis is a cage the way I live? Is Mrs. Lion taking sexual control part of a “chastity” lifestyle? Certainly my permanent lockup has caused changes in our lives. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you know we have struggled with integrating chastity into our lives. But in all fairness, my lockup doesn’t extend to everything we do and how we relate. It is limited to our sexual behavior, so I think it is safe to say that in the global sense, it isn’t a lifestyle.
On the other hand, it would be equally hard to say this is “play”. Yes, the fact that it is by choice and done for the pleasure of one or both of us would make it count as play. It’s just that the fact that it is sustained perhaps for the rest of my life, makes it hard to claim we are “playing” at chastity. For me, at least, being caged is something that is never far from the top of my thoughts. One reason we can’t really call this “play” is that it isn’t always fun. Much of what Mrs. Lion does is work for her, and I can’t claim to love every second of being frustrated, spanked, and otherwise made uncomfortable. Yes, it is what I want, but it isn’t play.
This may seem to you as just unnecessary quibbling over terminology, but it really isn’t. One of the first questions in someone’s mind when they consider embarking on this adventure is, “what am I really doing?” If the answer to that question is “sex play” it has a specific meaning. To most that means it is part of sex and wouldn’t extend past the point of being arousing. If the answer is, “lifestyle” then all sorts of issues come up: Do we make changes in the way we relate? Can this hurt our relationship? What is our commitment?
Well, we could say that it starts as sex play and can end up as part of a new sexual lifestyle. This feels right to me. Even though I may have had fantasies about 24/7/365 lockup, I was never in a position to commit to this on day one. Six months later Mrs. Lion and I have a better idea about making this permanent, but we still decided to provide an escape hatch in 2016. Even if we decide to remove the cage at some point, does that mean we will go back to the way we were before caging me?
My point is that for me, at least, every day we have me locked up, the possibility that this will be for the rest of my life grows stronger. I think it’s because my lioness and I are building our sexual relationship anew around her control and my sexual dependence. This rebuilding includes what we consider improved communication and more interest in providing each other with satisfaction. We have independently stated that things are better now that I am caged.
I wasn’t caged to keep me from roaming or to stop some masturbation compulsion. I don’t think males are ever caged to stop bad behavior. I’m caged because I want to be and I want real (not just lip service) control to go to Mrs. Lion. I will continue being caged because I have agreed that whether I like it or not, I will not even get the chance to vote on stopping my forced chastity until March 2016. My understanding is that even then I can’t just opt out. We both have to agree to stop.
That may sound harsh or unrealistic, but for me it isn’t. We didn’t agree to the no-escape-clause-till-2016 concept until a few weeks ago. We both had five months of full time lockup to evaluate and consider whether this change is what we both want. We’ve made our decisions that keeping me caged is something that has made me a happier critter and has contributed to improving Mrs. Lion’s sexual relationship with me. We both like the improved communication and we both think that keeping me locked up is what will force us to continue growing.
Putting that little cage on my, as Mrs. Lion calls it, has in fact made some profound changes in our lives. These are changes we both feel make things better. So far it hasn’t been without bumps in the road. Mrs. Lion still sometimes suffers from guilt when she has pleasure and doesn’t reciprocate. I still get grumpy when I feel particularly deprived. But most of the time I feel grateful that Mrs. Lion is willing to do all the things she does that has transformed sex for me. So, at least from my perspective, chastity is indeed a new lifestyle that has great benefits for us both.