The Big Difference

I am now nine days into my eleven day wait. I’ve gone through my typical chastity phases: horny, grumpy, and now very horny. I’m a little surprised that even after all these months my response stays the same. I was thinking about the difference between now, being caged and committed to surrendering sexual control and before we started. Before we began our chastity adventure, we weren’t having much sexual contact. I would regularly go more than a week without masturbating. But somehow it was different.

A big part of the change is that Mrs. Lion gives me a lot of sexual attention. Granted, she doesn’t necessarily give me sexual satisfaction, but she makes sure that I am regularly stimulated to the edge of orgasm. That prevents me from suppressing my sexual interest as I did before. That stimulation assures I can’t forget for a single day how much I want release. It’s regular foreplay without the payoff. I’m pretty sure that is what causes the general need for sex (duh!) and the resulting frustration probably makes me grumpy. I’ve noticed that if I don’t get that sexual stimulation for more than two days, my arousal level falls off and I begin to get “comfortable” with the lack of sex. My guess is that younger males will not lose their edge so fast, if at all. Aging has reduced some hormone levels; a good thing when caged. This could explain why the largest number of caged males are over fifty.

There are other, more significant differences. Mrs. Lion is learning to be more assertive and less worried about “hurting” me. If you read some of her early posts, you can see her concern that I not be too frustrated, or that she not give me much pain. Now, she is far more confident. She is amused by my frustration and gets real pleasure out of edging me and giving me ruined orgasms. That’s a big change. Last night I grumbled about being very horny. Her response was, “Do you want to wait a few more days?”

That’s a big change! I shut up. I did wonder if she would really do it, but I truly didn’t want to take the risk. I really want to come! I have no idea how I would react if she extended my wait. Given her current state of mind, I better not pout or it could get much worse. In the past I didn’t think a threat like that would have much effect on me. But after nine days it definitely got my full attention. Should she actually do it? I will regret writing this, but I think she should. The reason is an old adage in the discipline game: a punishment undemonstrated is not an effective deterrent.

I think the biggest difference now is that she made the threat at a time when I am counting the hours until I can finally come. If she did it a week ago, it wouldn’t have felt very serious at all to me. Now, if she does find a reason to make me wait longer, I will remember how much I hated it and if she makes the threat again, even on the first day of a wait, I will know how it felt at the end when I could have been able to come. I realize that if she does do this now, she will have to keep me caged on our trip; not so much to prevent cheating as to reinforce my helplessness and her power.

There are some males in long-term chastity who at some point stop wearing their devices. They still follow all the rules and wait the times they agreed to. But there is a big difference. They are doing it because they want to. Ok, I want this too. But I also want it when for a while, at least, I don’t want it. The cage prevents me from changing any of the rules. No matter how much I want to come, as long as I am locked in, I can’t. That’s what I love about the experience. Mrs. Lion truly has full control.

And that brings me to the biggest difference of all: Mrs. Lion now embraces that control. In the past, she gave me the experience she thought I wanted. She made me wait long enough to get frustrated, but not too long. She gave me a few swats for breaking a rule, and she teased me because I like it. I’m not saying that’s all changed. It hasn’t. But things are a little different now. She teases me because she likes to see me squirm as I get near orgasm and she likes my reaction when she stops just short of it. She appears more comfortable saying no to me and letting me know she is in charge.

I know she isn’t becoming a different person. I wouldn’t want her to change. But she is learning to take some pleasure from giving me what I want. She is using the power dynamic the way I had hoped she would. Best of all, she deals with my objections and growls with amusement, indifference, and the threat of more wait time if I get out of line. Most significantly, I think she understands the concept of “something I love to hate”. That’s really tough because at the time she does those things I really hate them. I want her to stop or not make me do something I don’t like with all my heart.

But now she knows that her lion is a little more complex than that. She’s learned that by doing those things I hate, she is giving me a wonderful gift. She is allowing me to experience the control I want so badly, and by doing this, she is really turning me on. Every shock, spanking, ruined orgasm, or extra day of waiting feeds a deep need that brings me both heat and satisfaction. Thank you, Mrs Lion.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Punishment, Sex
One comment on “The Big Difference
  1. Neil says:

    Well, what can I say….. At last as meaningful resource which chimes with my Mistress and our thinking on the subject which we are just embarking on together. Thank you both. We will doubtless keep you posted on our progress so now, firstly, to be caged……