Month: August 2014 (Page 15)

(Saturday, August 2 2o14) It’s six months since I gave the key to Mrs. Lion. We have both accepted forced male chastity into our lives. I don’t find it remarkable that I no longer have access to my penis. It feels like I have been this way forever. Well, no not really. But some things have changed. I find that I don’t get as many chubbies in my cage. It’s as though my body recognizes the futility of an erection while caged. So far I am very responsive when Mrs. Lion unlocks me. I don’t have a problem getting hard then. I still think about sex. So my libido is intact. But somehow things are different for me.

I haven’t become a tame, domestic lion. I don’t feel an increased desire to do housework. I don’t want to wear panties.  What has changed is the amount of conscious attention I pay to Mrs. Lion and her needs. I am much more sensitive to her. I am also much more aware of sex, not fantasies, but the reality. I know that my opportunities to come are limited and not under my control. This is completely new. I think that over the last six months things have gone from me calling the shots and deciding when I should come to Mrs. Lion taking control. Fortunately she is charitable so my waits are reasonably short. But she has changed too. She knows what I want and has decided to give it to me.

Now, I only get unlocked when she wants to tease me. I always shower in my cage and she doesn’t unlock me for anal training. I am only out of my cage when she has need of my penis. Even if this need is fairly frequent, I get the message: my penis is now her toy and it stays safely locked away until she wants to play with it. I find that very exciting. Tomorrow is orgasm day for me. Maybe tonight is anal training time. I don’t know. She no longer feels the need to discuss these matters with me. That’s a turn on too.

It’s getting easier for me too. I am comfortable in my cage and don’t think about being freed. I had imagined I would get tired of it and the inconveniences that come with being locked up. I haven’t. I’ve just found ways to adapt to the reality that I am always locked up.

Being locked in  a chastity device was something I wanted to try for some time. When I finally decided to ask Mrs. Lion to do it for more than a few days, I had no real idea how things would play out. If you go back and read some of our posts from February, you will see that things were a lot different. My writing was more theoretical. Mrs. Lion was far from convinced she wanted to do this. I think we both had no real idea how locking up my cock would affect us. It’s fun for me to read those early posts to see how much things have changed.

I don’t think the changes are finished. The next months will probably bring more surprises to both of us. I did ask Mrs. Lion if she was happy we were doing this. She said she is. Our chastity experience is a turning point for us. It has opened up  new channels of communication and has forced us to be far more sexually active. Is cage therapy a new way to restore sexual excitement in a marriage? I’ve been wondering that. Perhaps it might be. I also think that this blog contributes a great deal to our changes. Sharing with you and with each other via the written word has had a strong impact as well.

My motive for asking Mrs. Lion to lock me up was sexual. I found (and still find) the idea of giving up sexual control very exciting. But there is so much more to it now. At this point in time I don’t think either of us would agree to give up forced male chastity. It is a powerful force for good in our lives. I suspect when we get to March 2016 when we agreed we could stop, we will be far beyond considering ending this to be a realistic possibility.

 

emergency key
Every caged male should have an emergency key he can access in case of sudden need to get out.

(Friday, August 1 2014) Yesterday I learned that my next orgasm is scheduled for Sunday. Mrs. Lion also informed me that that this date could change. That’s fair, judge Mrs. Lion always has the option to move or cancel a planned orgasm date. She also informed me that we would be continuing my anal training this weekend as well. It sounds like a busy lion weekend is about to start.

I was thinking about how the chastity fantasy can end up creating some real world problems. The most serious issue, I think, is the ability to remove the device in an emergency. The common fantasy is that the device stays on no matter what (inescapable) and that the only key is in the possession of the keyholder. Some males practice long distance forced chastity and the only key can be thousands of miles away. There are any number of situations that can require removal of the device. They range from medical emergencies to social and professional needs. The point is that all too many males are so focused on the inescapable device that they fail to consider the risk they take by having the key out of reach.

A chastity device is a form of bondage. A part of the male’s body is locked up to prevent access. In the BDSM world, one of the key safety rules is to never leave a person in restraints alone. Anytime you take the ability to act away from someone, supervision is required. In the case of forced chastity, constant supervision isn’t possible or really necessary. Once a device is properly fitted and doesn’t pose a health or comfort issue, the wearer doesn’t need the keyholder in constant attendance. However, since a reason can come up that requires immediate removal, the male must have access to a key.

Give the caged male a key? Why bother locking him up? Ok, let’s think about this a bit. First of all, there are few, if any chastity devices that absolutely prevent the male from an orgasm. Even devices that don’t permit pull out still would allow a powerful vibrator to stimulate the penis. Contrary to popular opinion, a male can orgasm and ejaculate without an erection. What use is the device, then? Simply, it makes it much more difficult for the caged male to get off. Certainly, even if he pulls out, if the device is still hanging from his balls, it is unlikely anyone will have sex with him. So it is helpful. The main point is that the device is a deterrent, not an absolute preventative.

The biggest deterrent is that the keyholder discovers that the caged male cheated. So, a device that might allow pull out, may be impossible to put back on without unlocking it. Discovery by the keyholder will certainly earn serious punishment, even ending the entire chastity experience. Cheating, even if never discovered, will ruin forced chastity for the male. He will know it isn’t real anymore.

I think that every caged male must have an emergency key. In our case, my key is in a small pill container that is on my key ring. We use tamper-resistant labels to “seal” the container. To get in, I must cut or remove the label. The labels are numbered (the number is on the bottom of the right column of the blog) so I can’t remove the label and just put another one on to fool Mrs. Lion. I can’t get to that key without Mrs. Lion finding out. There is no way I will unlock my device unless it is absolutely necessary. Hell hath no fury like a pissed off lioness.

A good analogy for this arrangement is a low security prison. There are no bars and nothing prevents the inmates from walking away. However, if an inmate does walk away, if caught will be sent to a much more unpleasant high security prison. Very few inmates walk away. The same is true of us caged males. We are locked into chastity devices because we wanted to be. There are times we might regret the decision and want to get off without permission. Even if I am tree-humping horny, I for one, will not try to escape or find a way to get off in my cage. I asked to be locked up and I agreed to remain this way until March 2016. Even then, I am pretty sure I will remain locked. There are guys who want to defeat devices. That is what they like to do. By and large they don’t have keyholders. If you are in this group, even though you want absolute security, you still need that key to be accessible. There are no exceptions to this rule.

fortune cookie
Lion got a fortune cookie that started me thinking about keeping lion.

The other night we had Chinese food. Lion’s fortune was something to the effect of his meeting a new and exciting person. I joked that it was a good thing he’s locked up or he’d run off with this person. It really was a joke. And it really wasn’t a joke. I know that Lion does not have a wandering eye. He looks at the occasional tush, or remarks that someone on tv is cute, but he’s not likely to act on it. If he didn’t stray in the bad old days, I don’t think he’ll stray now. Says my rational side. My irrational side says he’ll be gone in an instant unless I keep him happy with sex and spanking and sex and teasing. And sex. Not that he’s all about sex, but this is my irrational side talking.

The truth is that both rational and irrational sides of me know that Lion is mine. He isn’t going anywhere. We’ve been together for too long and love each other too much to wander off in different directions. He’s told me if I ever leave him he’ll just sit outside my door and growl. I’m not sure what I’d do if he left me. It’s not something I like to think about. But I know I’m extremely lucky to have him. That’s why I do the things he wants me to do to him.

I want him to be happy. And if I can make him happy without making myself unhappy then I will do it. Who am I kidding? I’ll do things that make me unhappy if it makes him happy. Roller coasters, opera, etc. To be fair, saying they make me unhappy is probably going too far. I’d be happier if I didn’t go on another roller coaster, but it would not make me unhappy to go on one. It falls under the suck-it-up-and-take-one-for-the-team heading.

My point is that I do the things he wants me to do because I love him and I want him to be happy. To me that’s no more of a stretch than making him a dinner he loves even though I may not like it. Or watching a tv show he likes even though I don’t like it. It’s all part of the give and take that is a relationship. We’re coming up on our ninth wedding anniversary. We’ve been together almost twelve years. I think we’re in it for the long haul. Till death us do part. My nervous, irrational side just makes sure I don’t take it for granted.

[Lion — Mrs. Lion is stuck with me for life. Even if she doesn’t do a thing I like, she has me. And yes, if she ever left me I would sit outside her door and howl]

(Thursday, July 31 2014) If you read her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion talked about the fun evening we had. She provided an amazing oral orgasm. I was pretty horny and her touch, and later her mouth easily pushed me over the edge. She is doing a wonderful job making my forced chastity challenging and fun. I am not doing a very good job helping her libido. I feel that I have slipped back into my old pattern of letting Mrs. Lion do all the initiating. While she does need to initiate any sexual pleasure I get, she shouldn’t have to do it for her own enjoyment.

Weeks ago I resolved to attempt to initiate daily. This proved to be more annoying than pleasurable for Mrs. Lion. She wrote how her libido remained dormant. It’s become a Catch 22. I want to please Mrs. Lion and give her the mind-blowing orgasms she enjoyed in the past, but I don’t want to make her feel that there is pressure for her to get sex when she doesn’t want it.

So, after receiving such fantastic sex I feel guilty that I am not reciprocating. This isn’t her problem. I think it is an issue with communication. We haven’t developed a comfortable way to signal Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex. The traditional male chastity fantasy has the keyholder demanding sex frequently. Mrs. Lion just isn’t built to do that. It’s not a fault. I think it comes from her unselfish nature; she is ready to please but doesn’t want to ask for anything herself. There is no way she is going to turn into a demanding dominatrix just to satisfy some fantasy. It’s up to me to find a way to read the signals and then act on them. It’s simply not fair for me to expect Mrs. Lion to change. It’s up to me to make this work for her. I just don’t know how. That’s why I feel guilty, especially when she does so well pleasing me. I understand there is no simple solution. But there must be something I can do to return the favor.

On the other hand, it is perfectly fine for Mrs. Lion to not have an interest in her own orgasms. We are all built differently and at this time in her life she may not be interested in sex. I did worry for a while that it was because she is no longer attracted to me. I don’t think that is the case. After all, I’m irresistible. Just kidding. It’s completely wrong for me to expect Mrs. Lion to work to change her libido simply to make me feel better. I love her regardless of the level of her sex drive. Having said that, I still worry that I can do more.

This is truly about communication. I know how much I love sex and I find it hard to believe Mrs. Lion doesn’t share that love. I know this isn’t all about me. My role is to understand what Mrs. Lion might want each day and then provide it. I truly want to do that and do it well. So, instead of vowing to initiate every day, my goal is to work on discovering what I can do each day to please Mrs. Lion. I will ask her to help me make these discoveries. She shouldn’t feel badly that I sometimes feel guilty. That is my problem, not hers.

You may wonder what all this has to do with forced male chastity. I think it is very relevant. What I am experiencing is a collision between the classic chastity fantasy and our reality. I am very happy with how we are living with chastity. Mrs. Lion is a perfect keyholder. I just need to learn how to make sure that I, as her caged male, provide her with all the pleasure she wants.