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In: Keyholder, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion is a very horny boy. The other day, in the middle of the kitchen, I started fondling his butt. He was purring so much I wonder if he tried to get an erection. Then yesterday I unlocked him to do some manscaping. Of course, I never just do manscaping. I always play with him a little bit. A few strokes of his cock, some ball squeezing, a little more rubbing his buns. When I was working on his backside he let the tip of his penis poke between his legs. I don’t know if it was on purpose or not but I couldn’t let it go unnoticed.

When I was done I informed him that he would remain wild until he showered and eventually I would play with him. He asked if I thought I could trust him. I told him if I started to play with him later and he wasn’t immediately at attention I’d know he’d been naughty and he might get some of that punishment he craved. He promised to be good. He was, indeed, a good boy. Hours later, after his shower, he was ready for some exercise.

I got a small bag of tricks, as I like to call it, with clothes pins and Velcro in it, and proceeded to make his balls look like a porcupine. I’m sure not all of the clothes pins hurt but some of the more strategically placed ones hurt a lot, and I’m pretty sure the ones that don’t necessarily hurt add to the overall pain. And just to make sure, I pull on them all to heighten the experience. Eventually I swapped out some of the regular clothes pins with ones that have the no slip tape on them. Similar to Velcro, it’s like hundreds of tiny teeth biting into the delicate skin. Of course, I stroke his cock from time to time to keep him happy. The movement also causes the clothes pins to wiggle and I’m sure that reminds him they are still there.

Eventually I took them all off and just concentrated on playing with his cock. I always think I’m just going to tease him and not edge him. Just enough to get him hard, but not enough to really get him going. And then I give in and edge him anyway. It’s nothing he’s doing. I just have limited self control when it comes to teasing him.

I’m not sure how I feel about multiple ruined orgasms. I like watching him squirm, but it increases the chance of my going too far and giving him an actual orgasm. We’ll have to play with it and see. Luckily I have a willing guinea pig to experiment on.

At this point, my Lion remains horny. And he will stay that way until Thursday night

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Every so often there is a disconnect between how I see being caged working and how Mrs. Lion sees what she is doing. This came up most recently when she wanted to reward me with a day off my wait and I didn’t reply positively. This was truly surprising to her. In a way, it was to me too. It caused me to do a lot of thinking over the weekend about exactly what I really want. Length of wait time isn’t it.  I know that how long males have to wait is generally very variable based on both caged male and keyholder. Mrs. Lion and I are still experimenting with that. She has been taking a conservative approach, not making me wait long periods at this point. I don’t think that not having to wait long enough was the reason I didn’t want the reward.

Next, I thought about my anniversary coupons. At the time I loved the idea of being able to get off or reduce my wait by redeeming a coupon. Then Mrs. Lion wondered if my wait clock should start all over again after I redeem an orgasm coupon. It was a good point. After thinking about it, I would like the clock to start again.  Then I thought that if coupons make great gifts, maybe they are also the way to manage some rewards and punishments. So I made some coupons and wrote about them in a previous post. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure how she feels about them. She just doesn’t like the idea of punishments for me. I understand that.

After all this thinking, here is what seems like a reasonable approach to me: In the case of rewards, if the reward is to take a day or more of my wait, Mrs. Lion can decide if she is willing to accept the coupon at that time. In fact, all coupons are subject to approval. I can’t just redeem them at will. If the coupon is for an orgasm, I can redeem it one of two ways: One is to get to come mid-wait. Mrs. Lion can agree to grant it, but if she does, my wait begins again after that coupon orgasm. I can also redeem it at the end of my wait time for a particular type of orgasm (oral, lion-riding, etc).  If the coupon is for play, she can accept it and schedule it in the future when she feels she will have the time and energy. More importantly, Mrs. Lion can give me rewards without a coupon, just because she wants to.

Punishments are much more difficult. There is a very short list of things I can be punished for doing: spilling food, interrupting, and eating before Mrs. Lion. Each of those carries a penalty. A good part of the time, this happens in public and punishment needs to be delayed unless I am wearing the shock collar. A good percentage of the time, the punishment is forgotten by the time we are alone. There are two solutions that Mrs. Lion might like: The first is to make me keep track and remind her as soon as we are alone. Failure to do this earns a severe punishment. The second is to use my punishment coupons. She can post them on the fridge or keep them somewhere else. When she wants to execute the punishments, she can take out the coupons, read one, administer the punishment, and the go to the next coupon.

I know that Mrs. Lion is uncomfortable administering punishment. But I think this is just because she hasn’t done it often enough. This is very similar to the ruined orgasm situation. Until very recently, Mrs. Lion felt badly when she gave me a ruined orgasm. Just the other day she discovered she not only didn’t feel badly but she liked my reaction. I strongly suspect the same will be true for punishing me.

Another big part of this experience to me is attention. I’ve come to realize that I need some sort of sexual attention three or four times a week. When I am locked in my cage for two days and nights without some reminder that this is what Mrs. Lion wants, it starts to feel like it did when we almost never did anything sexual.  I know Mrs. Lion plays games on her iPad to deal with stress, but it doesn’t feel good after about 24 hours without attention seeing her next to me doing that. It is too much like before.

I can’t blame her. I get plenty of attention and she works hard to make my enforced (I usually just say “forced” — means the same to me) chastity work for both of us. It seems to me that since we have both agreed we will continue keeping me caged, I have become more sensitive to it being something that can just fall into another bit of work for Mrs. Lion; a bit of work she avoids when she can. Since I know she does it because I like it, I also know that she has no real incentive to pursue it and keep it fresh. I depend on her devotion to pursuing my chastity in order to keep it from becoming something that I am, essentially, doing on my own.

I know from my past experience, it is entirely too easy for me to feel more and more insecure as my surrender becomes more complete. Since I am aware of this, I am doing my best to not get sucked into the depression this can cause. I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to produce a three-ring circus starring her lion. She does so much now. I just want her to know that at the same time she struggles with rewards and punishment, I am chasing my own demons.

Yes, this is supposed to be fun. But it is also changing some very important, basic things in both of our lives. It’s unrealistic to treat chastity as a new, long-term sex game. It’s not. It does seem that the more sexual activity involved — for the keyholder and teasing for the caged male, the easier it is to avoid these problems. But sooner or later something will come up that exposes the fear and worry that goes along with surrendering and accepting control of another.

[Mrs. Lion — The reason I was mad at myself for prior ruined orgasms is that I was trying very hard to just edge my Lion and I kept going too far. Obviously practice hasn’t quite made perfect, but I am more confident now in my ability to edge him consistently.]

By:
In: Chastity device fitting, Mrs Lion Comments

The other day Lion said maybe his cock ring was too big. How is that possible? It’s metal. It didn’t get any bigger and he certainly hasn’t gotten smaller. He said he figures it needs to be an eighth of an inch smaller. Now an eighth of an inch is not that much. Does it really need to be smaller? Can’t he live with it? I’m thinking back to when we had the cage itself shortened. Once he got it back he thought it was too short. Finally he decided it was correct.

Last night he said he could no longer pee standing up. He wasn’t centered in the cage even though I had made sure he was centered when I put it on him Friday night. And he made it all day Saturday without issue. Suddenly it was not centered. How is that possible? Did his cock suddenly gain the ability to wiggle itself off center? I removed the screw and repositioned him to be centered. This morning he was peeing sitting down again. What the heck?

To fix the ring is a small fee and Lion has suggested getting a second one made. I assume that means having a smaller one made so we would have the original size and one that is an eighth of an inch smaller. But it would also mean not having the Jail Bird while the ring is done. Back to the Chinese cage. My first thought with the Chinese cage is that I hate putting it on him so much that I will just refuse to take it off him. This means an extended wait for him which would be fine if I could just leave him in it. But he needs to be teased every few days. Obviously the cage has to come off to accomplish that so I still have to fumble with locking him back up.

Part of me knows that Lion is never 100% satisfied. I don’t think the cage and ring will ever be perfect for him. I’m not sure why that is but it happens in the rest of our lives too. He can be happy with the way something turned out but next time he just knows he can do it better. Another part of me knows that Lion was at day five and that far into the wait time is when Grumbly Lion comes out. So is the ring really too big or is it just a reason to grumble? Is he really off center or is he looking for something to grumble about? I don’t know. It could be purely coincidental. We were both very sleep deprived and his allergies were very bad. Either one of those could cause grumbles.

I do know I need to do some manscaping today and he’ll definitely be getting attention above and beyond the shaver. I’m hoping that cures some of the grumbling.

By:
In: Male Chastity

For me at least, introducing forced male chastity into our marriage was a chance to live a fantasy I have had for a long time. I thought of it the same way I thought about bondage, spanking, cock and ball play, and other power exchange activities; as something that is fun to do . All those other activities fit nicely into one- or two-hour play sessions. I realized that chastity requires a longer time frame to be meaningful.

So, even from the start, I recognized that trying out male chastity would mean a commitment of weeks or months. After all, the entire point of forced male chastity is to withhold sex for the male even though he badly wants an orgasm. At its root, the experience is about preventing erection and sexual release for the male. Any guy can go for days without getting off without feeling his sexual satisfaction is really controlled by someone else. In fact, I think the vast majority of couples that play with male chastity do it for very short intervals, maybe just a weekend, as a spice to add to their sex lives.

Most of our readers, I imagine, want more than just a weekend of lockup. I, for one, didn’t set any end to the game at all. I figured that Mrs. Lion and I would see how caging me would affect our sex life and the power exchange that I have wanted. After four months it became clear to both of us that there were real benefits in keeping me caged. Our sex life improved and so did communication on other things as well. We decided to continue long term. We agreed that just saying this would be permanent would make it too easy to abandon. After all, forever is a very long time to agree to pursue something like this. So, we decided to continue, no excuses, until March 2016 at which time we would decide whether to continue for another period.

Now that we are in this long term, we have to consider how we have integrated chastity into our lives. The first issue developed when I had doctor visits where I had to undress. I was unlocked for several days to accommodate this. The decision to do this was a bit difficult for me. After all, I agreed to 24/7 lockup only to be released for hygiene or sexual activity Mrs. Lion wished to have with me. A couple of weeks ago Mrs. Lion unlocked me over the weekend we were traveling in our trailer. Peeing, in the RV bathroom was messy. I sprayed a lot in the small space and the shape of the toilet made sitting down a shower for my balls. Nothing like getting up in the middle of the night to pee, half asleep, and then having to deal with pee-covered balls. You get the idea. Also, hours-long drives required me to make frequent adjustments to keep my cage comfortable. So Mrs. Lion decided I could be wild during our trips.

This is the sort of sensible accommodations needed to make my chastity permanent. It is also very encouraging because rather than just abandoning the cage, we worked around the issues. Mrs. Lion also introduced “love coupons” into our chastity activities. She gave me coupons good for an orgasm of my choice whenever I use the coupon, or a day of being wild, etc. We wrestled with how to handle an orgasm coupon; does my scheduled orgasm wait continue or should the clock start again after I use the coupon? I suggested the clock should restart (I love her control!).

What we are learning is that the strict, never-get-out-of-the-cage approach to chastity is problematic over the long run. While it may be fun to sometimes extend waits, or require me to stay locked for weeks without coming out, as a general practice this sort of stuff wouldn’t work for us over the long term.

If chastity is a hobby or weekend activity, little thought is needed to make it work. Over a relatively short term, extreme behavior and activities can be fun. I like pain as part of play, but if I had to hurt all the time for the rest of my life, I  would be very unhappy. Mrs. Lion and I have decided that we want to continue our male chastity indefinitely. We have a check point in about a year and  a half, but our intention right now is that we will decide to continue. This changes the way we look at things. What we do has to be able to work for each of us for a very long time.

If you are new to male chastity, you shouldn’t even think about making it permanent. Agree to a reasonable period of time; a month is long enough to see how it affects your lives. At the end of that time you can decide whether or not to continue. It’s entirely too easy to get caught up in the excitement of living a fantasy.