Nobody is as guilty as me of putting my paw firmly in mouth. I’ve been whining about discipline and my need for firm handling by Mrs. Lion. She is, by nature, a sweet, gentle, non-assertive soul. I come along trying to make rules for myself, define the punishments for infractions, and then expect Mrs. Lion to follow my lead. Talk about topping from the bottom!
In fact, it isn’t as black and white as that. But the point is that I work entirely too hard to be managed the way I think I should be. Since up to now Mrs. Lion had no better ideas, she has obligingly gone along. The result is that the experience is less satisfying than it should be for either of us. Today, in her post, the tide has turned. Mrs. Lion is calling the shots. She has created a new punishment; one I truly hate and fear — keeping me locked up with no playtime if I am naughty.
Our agreement, as she said, is for her to tease me every other day during my wait times. I really look forward to these sessions. I love the teasing. Later, of course, I regret it a bit since I am more horny than ever without release in sight. But I hate the idea of just being locked up with no stimulation much more. This is a punishment I don’t love to hate. I just hate it. Just the thought of days and days without attention, stewing in my own juices, puts fear in my heart. Mrs. Lion definitely found something I want to avoid. Combine that with extending my wait time and you have a truly repentant lion.
Every punishment I suggested, except additional wait time, involved some kind of stimulation, albeit painful. To me, pain is attention. I love attention. I really hesitated before suggesting increasing wait times because an extension would make me wait longer for Mrs. Lion’s attention.
The idea of being locked up without any stimulation for days on end is a truly joyless prospect for me. This is a classic example of the old adage: Be careful what you wish for. More significantly to me, it brilliantly illustrates how hard I have been trying to retain control. Now I’m going to find out how it feels to really surrender.
The cage was my idea. Most of what we are doing came from me and fits a longstanding fantasy of mine. Until now, deep down, I believed that whether or not I am in this cage is up to me. Under that fantasy was, I think, a wish to surrender sexual control. Mrs. Lion’s latest edict has, for the first time, given me a real taste of how this new world will be for me. I am starting to realize that I have nothing to say about my cage or sex life. It’s scary.