Mrs. Lion and I operate in very different ways. My life is ruled by my calendar. I have multiple meetings every day as well as deadlines and required activities. It’s been this way for many years. I’ve learned to manage multiple projects without undue stress. Mrs. Lion has a less noisy environment. Her schedule and activities are within an established routine. She likes it that way.
I think her love of routine is one reason why she finds experimenting with different approaches to my chastity so challenging. In an earlier post Mrs. Lion talked about having problems picking release dates she could remember. Her concern about adding or subtracting time upset her selection of easy-to-remember dates. Today, Amazon will deliver the calendar shown in the picture. It is made with numbered blocks she can use to record the next orgasm date. Nothing to remember.
The “naughty lion” coupons was another solution I proposed to deal with the need to remember infractions long enough to deal with them. They have what may be a fatal flaw, Mrs. Lion needs to have them immediately available to record infractions. So far she has only used one even though I have broken a few rules and have gone unpunished. This gets into an area of mine that has always been troublesome to me: consistency.
Without getting into deep psychological analysis, it is important to me that people treat me consistently. If Mrs. Lion tells me I have broken a rule, I expect retribution at some point. It bothers me to “get away” with something. It’s my nature. Hers, on the other hand, is much more casual. Neither of us is right or wrong. It’s just a difference in our personalities. I am more action-oriented than she. To her credit, she works hard to meet my expectations. But I don’t want her to have to work. I want it to be easy for her.
I still believe that once we get settled in to this lifestyle, both of us will find benefits. That’s not going to happen as long as trying to meet my expectations causes stress. That’s the big reason I wrote about giving up on chastity in an earlier post. I don’t ever want to make things harder for my dear lioness.
As often happens, we write about similar things. Yesterday, in her post, she considered punishments. She surprised me completely by putting playtime on the table as a punishment she will use. Needless to say, I really hate that idea. I want her to punish me the way I want to be punished! Of course I know that is just silly and childish. I am happy that she is starting to make me uncomfortable about incurring her wrath. That’s how it should be. I am starting to learn that I’m not steering this ship.
Some readers have commented that what I need to do is just let her run things her way. That’s very good advice. I want to do that. I truly want to just let her run things. I’m having a very hard time doing that. I frequently don’t feel that she will run things if I let go. I know, I know, that’s just wrong. That’s why I have asked her to use discipline to stop me when I try this.
In a very real sense I can be like a little kid who acts out to get attention. When I don’t feel Mrs. Lion’s control, I look for ways to “help” her make me feel it. Every time I do this, I make Mrs. Lion feel that she isn’t doing things “right”. She wrote about that Monday.
My goal is to stop doing this. So far I have been terrible at making progress. It’s all to easy for me to start feeling neglected. Believe me, I’m not neglected at all. I am insecure about our enforced chastity. I worry that it will be too much for Mrs. Lion and suddenly just end. Yes, I realize that my behavior is improving the chances that it will end that way. I will work harder to stop. Mrs. Lion isn’t to blame for any of this. It’s all me. I just need to let Mrs. Lion work things out for herself.
