(Wednesday, September 10, 2014) Last night I got my scheduled orgasm. I had a bonus orgasm on Sunday so I wasn’t frantic to come. Stress from daily life and general fatigue made this a less-than-spectacular orgasm. I really hate when that happens. Mrs. Lion announced that my next orgasm is scheduled for September 30. This is a 21-day wait, the longest wait I have been given.
When Mrs. Lion and I began our adventure, she said that she had no idea how long she should make me wait. I wasn’t helpful because it was a mystery to me too. In the beginning we had no set wait time. I got an orgasm when Mrs. Lion decided she wanted me to have one. We both realized that a set “O” date was better for us. That brought us back to the question of what it should be.
Recently, Mrs. Lion has picked dates that are easy to remember. For example, yesterday was 9/9; easy for her to keep in mind. My next date is 9/30, the last day of the month. The one after that will probably be my birthday in October. The dates picked were not calculated based on the effect the wait would have on me; just easy-to-remember numbers.
I decided to do some research. One woman, on her Angelfire site (clearly very old and unmaintained) said that the keyholder should determine this by making waits longer and longer until the male gets really grumpy. That wait should be the correct one for him.
Mrs. Lion quipped, “That means your longest wait will be three days.”
She has a point.
It seems that most everyone embarking on enforced male chastity has the problem of setting wait times. Some caged males want to experience longer and longer wait times. They want to experience orgasm denial over long periods of time. In their case, the keyholder just has to increase the wait time after each orgasm. She can work with her male to determine when enough is enough.
For the rest of us, our enforced chastity is about sexual control, not denial of orgasm. There is a lot of mythology around the idea that a male will be more agreeable, helpful, and polite if he knows his eventual orgasm depends on pleasing his keyholder. To some extent, I think this is true of all of us. The knowledge that my ability to get release depends on Mrs. Lion’s good will certainly keeps my interest in making her happy stay at the front of my mind. The common belief is that once I get to orgasm, my interest in pleasing Mrs. Lion will diminish until I am very horny again.
I completely disagree with this thinking. I am smart enough to know that if I set up a pattern where I am a less desirable partner for a while after an orgasm, Mrs. Lion has an incentive to prevent my orgasms as much as possible. That way, she assures herself of a pleasant, compliant lion. I can say that my desire to please her and be compliant and obedient does not change with how desperate I am to come. Frankly, I am so grateful that I got to orgasm that I am, if anything, more thoughtful, compliant, and obedient after she makes me come.
So, how long should Mrs. Lion make me wait? We can rule out her need for easy-to-remember dates. I provided a foolproof memory aid (see my post on this). She had decided on 9/30 long before I found a memory aid. Twenty-one days will certainly be a challenge. I think it is fair for her to set this longer time. We can both learn how I handle it.
It seems to me that determining wait times has to done through experimentation. Both keyholder and caged male need to see how they respond to different wait times. The experimentation reinforces the keyholder’s control. Wait time shouldn’t be negotiated. I know that. Mrs. Lion decides how long I wait and doesn’t have to provide me with a reason for the length. But I know that she feels in the dark about setting the right time.
From my perspective, the wait should be long enough to make me desperate to come so that any disciplinary extension will make a strong impact on me. If I have just a 10 day wait and Mrs. Lion adds three days, the impact on me isn’t very serious. However, if I have a three week wait and Mr.s Lion adds three days, that will make a serious impression on me. Now, if she adds the time during the first week of my wait, I will not react strongly, at least the first time. But when we are near the 21st day and I realize that I have to wait even longer, it will get through my thick skull that I have to take an extension very seriously.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, the wait time is one way Mrs. Lion demonstrates her sexual control over me. After hearing her announcement last night, I got a very strong sense of how powerful that control really is. That reaction speaks to what wait times I need (not want!). Three weeks really got my attention. I don’t want to wait that long, but I am learning that what I want has nothing to do with this. Mrs. Lion is also learning this as well. She became my keyholder because she wants to make me happy. I think we are both learning that what I need is for her to take clear sexual control. Inevitably this will mean that I will not be happy with what she does or makes me do. Ironic that to make me happy, she sometimes has to make me unhappy.