Lion craves consistency. So far, the only constant with me is that I’m variable. One day I have no earthly idea what I’m doing and the next I’m threatening to punish Lion for looking at me funny. One day he thinks he’s putting too much pressure on me and the next he thinks I’ve finally figured it out. Poor Lion never knows which one of my personalities will show up.
The best I can do is keep going forward. Maybe eventually I’ll figure it out. I wish I could say I’m figuring out what doesn’t work, but I feel like I keep making the same mistakes. Poor Lion.
Last night I almost allowed Lion to masturbate with the condition that he didn’t have an orgasm. Then I decided it would set a bad precedent. Even if it’s done in front of me he shouldn’t be allowed to do it. I was thinking this morning that maybe I can offer him a trade this weekend. He can be wild if he wears diapers. But then do I really want to give him a choice? I mean other than the obvious choice of my telling him to do something and him refusing, in which case he technically choses to be punished.
Sometimes it gets very loud inside my head with all the ideas banging around in there.