Whose Kink Is It Anyway?

I really love bondage. Being tied to the bed, spread-eagle is a huge turn on. Combine that with penis bondage and I am in somewhat uncomfortable heaven. (click on the image to see all of me, inlcuding my penis sporting a scratchy velcro strip)

I really love bondage. Being tied to the bed, spread-eagle is a huge turn on. Combine that with penis bondage and I am in somewhat uncomfortable heaven. (click on the image to see all of me, inlcuding my penis sporting a scratchy velcro strip)

I think it is rare to find a couple whose kink is restricted to enforced male chastity. I certainly have a veritable stew of kinks. Aside from wanting Mrs. Lion to control my penis, I also like spanking, cock and ball play, and anal activities. I also truly love bondage: being tied down. Most males who are into enforced chastity share this kink. They may not like being tied down, but a chastity device is certainly penis bondage.

I’m sure that I have other kinks I forgot to mention. Mrs. Lion will almost certainly remind me of them. Of course that’s just me. Other guys have lists of their own. I read what I can find about enforced chastity. I also get some very nice mail (to send email to Mrs. Lion or me, just click Contact Us). I recently got a note from a guy just starting out with his chastity adventure. He wrote about his interest in wearing women’s underwear. He said that his wife likes him that way and that in the past he had sometimes worn some of hers.

That kink, of course, is fine. It’s harmless and provides sexual excitement. One note of warning: Is the kink really his wife’s? Or, is he projecting his desire for her to like to see him wearing panties into something he believes she wants? This is an important distinction. If he feels more submissive, or he likes the humiliation of wearing panties, or he just wants to display his feminine side, his desire to wear panties is almost certainly for his benefit. If his wife enjoys it too, that’s a bonus.

This is just an example. I’m not picking on my correspondent. My point is that part of the fun of a kink is sharing it. In some cases that isn’t possible. A male may love wearing panties, but his wife just doesn’t like to see him that way. If he wants to be pantied, he will need to do it without involving her. Fair enough.

So far, our enforced chastity has been about my kinks. It has been about Mrs. Lion indulging and supporting my kinks and possibly learning to enjoy some herself. I think she has one of her own. Have you noticed that she frequently talks about loving to give me orgasms? She likes taking them; that is, making me come whether or not I want to. Normally it’s hard to find a time I don’t want to come, but she has managed to do it.

A few months ago she decided that enforced chastity is not just about withholding orgasms. Why couldn’t it be about giving me more of them than I want? So, for a short time she made me come every day. I genuinely got tired of it. When I told her, she stopped. More recently she has been giving me “bonus orgasms”. These are unscheduled orgasms given when she feels like it.

A few weeks ago, Mrs. Lion found herself getting aroused as she teased me. She was so aroused that she rode me until I cam and then had me lick her to multiple orgasms. Needless to say, I loved it. In her post yesterday, she talked about her mixed feelings about my reaction to a bonus orgasms. My current wait is for 21 days. I expressed that I wasn’t looking forward to a bonus orgasm. This comes from my love of consistency and also because I see this wait as a challenge. Her post asserted that she takes orgasms from me and I don’t get to decide if I can or can’t ejaculate.

If you put this together with her earlier desire to get me off every day, I think you might agree that Mrs. Lion is discovering a kink. She seems to be starting to learn that she gets aroused by teasing me and, even more, by taking orgasms when she wishes. The fact that she is such a sweetie and that she sees all this stuff as pleasing me, she has apparently suppressed this particular pleasure that she can get out of our enforced chastity.

It could well be that in our case, enforced chastity is about Mrs. Lion getting me to the edge as much as she wants, and more significantly, getting me off when it pleases her. If she gets wet playing with me, then she should do it when she likes. (She should anyway since she is my keyholder). If she wants to make me come every day, then she should. She’s in charge. She isn’t just an actor in my movie. She is really in charge. I want her to do things that she likes. If those things don’t map to my current desires, too bad. I am hers. She needs to learn that it isn’t about what I want. The more she disregards what I want, the happier I am with our adventure.

I think this is the most difficult challenge for her. She is solidly in the mode of doing all this stuff because I want it. Granted, even if she asserts her own kink, most will still be probably for me. But hers is just as important. So what does it mean? Well, Mrs. Lion has a lower level of sexual energy than I. So, much of the time I know that she will be teasing me, spanking, etc. because it works for me. I am very grateful for that. But she should also maximize her pleasure in her kink: controlling my arousal and orgasm. If this means daily orgasms, then please go for it! If it means lots of teasing, that’s fine too. I don’t mind.

Brave of me, isn’t it?

She has one challenge that doesn’t involve me: she needs to overcome her natural inclination to react rather than initiate. She has successfully beat it by scheduling every-other-day “tease the lion” sessions. She knows that we both expect those wonderful times. She can do the same thing with her kink. Make a decision and announce her plan. Then, like she is doing now with my chastity, meet her goals. Anyway, that’s how I see it from inside my cage.

 

 

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice to caged males, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex, Underwear

What do you think?