(Sunday, September 14, 2014) Last night we had a teasing session. It took Mrs. Lion a long time to get me to the edge, but she persisted and I got there. She repeated it again. This time it took much less time. The third time she went just a stroke too far and I had a. Mrs. Lion shared the semen with me. She didn’t have to. Really, she didn’t have to. But there I was unsatisfied with the taste of my semen in my mouth. I don’t think that the ruined orgasm was worse than just being edged. Maybe it was better. At least I had dribbled out my supply of semen, so that pressure was off. But, to tell the truth, I wanted to come just as badly after the ruined orgasm as I did with just .
Physically, I suspect the ruined orgasm does reset some internal clock. After all, I did ejaculate. On the other hand, the muscles that generally propel the semen out of my penis didn’t get a chance to flex. From my understanding of male orgasm, there is a process involving several steps that take about two seconds to complete. In a true ruined orgasm, that means there is a substantial delay of around ten seconds before semen appears, only a few of the set of orgasmic activities are triggered before the stimulation is removed. That would explain the dribble.
Mentally, there does appear to be a measure of satisfaction in a ruined orgasm that doesn’t appear in tease and deny. If there is, the satisfaction doesn’t last. All day today I have been craving some sexual or anal attention from Mrs. Lion. I even considered dropping some food on purpose so I could get some spanking. I didn’t, but I wanted to do it. Pretty pathetic. The lion has descended to considering cheap tricks for some additional attention. Come to think of it, that may be a sign that the ruined orgasm had the desired effect. Apparently it elevated my need for attention.
It’s only been five days since my last orgasm and sixteen to go until my September 30 release date. That date is burned into my eyes. Mrs. Lion put her orgasm date calendar on top of our DVD player, which sits behind a glass door directly across from our bed. I see it all the time. If she adds time, I will be reminded of the consequence of my behavior morning and night.
The thing is, I really want to come. I know that if Mrs. Lion decides to give me a bonus orgasm tonight, it will be a difficult one since I lost my semen last night. I’ve said that before and was proven completely wrong. The last time I made a prediction like this, I ended up with a massive (for me) orgasm.
Another interesting observation is that I haven’t masturbated or played with myself since early this year. I think it was about eight months ago. I don’t think I went more than a week without masturbating since I was 12. Things are very different now. Eight months with only Mrs. Lion stimulating me. I am truly hers. My penis belongs to her. It’s taken me a long time to catch on, but I truly feel that now. I am absolutely sexually dependent on her. It’s taken a while, but I finally get it. I wonder if other caged males feel this dependence as well.
The last woman I was dependent on was my mother and she didn’t do a good job caring for me. Of course, the kind of care is a lot different. But it is similar in that my mother had power over me, and now Mrs. Lion does. Thankfully, Mrs. Lion is a lot better at caring for me. I wonder how she sees her role. Does she see herself as maternal? Does she isolate owning my sexual pleasure from the rest of our relationship? Or maybe she hasn’t realized how totally dependent I am. Questions, questions, questions.