Since I’ve been locked up, the decision about whether or not I can have an orgasm has been taken out of my hands, pun intended. Friday night Mrs. Lion gave me a “Good Lion” coupon (see photo, right). This coupon is very special. It gives me the ability to get the orgasm of my choice at any time between now and the end of the year. Best of all, unlike my anniversary love coupons, it doesn’t restart the clock on my wait. For example, I am eleven days into a twenty-one day wait. If I used an anniversary coupon tonight, my twenty-one days would start all over again tomorrow. Last Night’s Good Lion coupon would allow me to come and not change the scheduled orgasm date.
I have been very horny. Eleven days is a long time to me. Friday night, besides the coupon, Mrs. Lion put nasty, plastic clothespins on my balls while she played with me. The mix of pain and pleasure was amazing. According to the LionTracker, she used six plastic clothespins on my balls and edged me three times. I really wanted to come! I still do.
I mentioned that to Mrs. Lion and grumbled a bit. She laughed. She said,
You want to know why I’m laughing?
Because you have a coupon and can come if you want. So your grumbling is just silly.
It wasn’t what I had expected her to say. I expected, “Because you still have ten days to go!” Actually, that is what I would have rather heard. Some perverse part of me likes it when she is assertive and reminds me of my plight. I did like that she laughed.
But what about that coupon? It’s a sort of “get out of jail free” card for me. Something about using it feels wrong. Is that silly? I have no problem with the coupons that restart my time. That feels right in a power exchange. I have been given a couple of opportunities to come if I really want to, but at a price. I only have two, so I can’t always reset when I get tired of waiting. If I were my keyholder, I would have made the price higher. I would have allowed the orgasm and restarted the wait time plus one week. But that’s just me. I haven’t used either of those coupons.
I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that I would have preferred her taking some time off my wait rather than let me have a free orgasm. That puzzled her. Why would that reward be different? I wasn’t sure at the time, but after thinking about it, I realize that by reducing my wait, she still controls when I get release. The coupon lets me control it. I don’t want sexual control. I feel better about “buying” an unscheduled orgasm (by restarting the clock) than I do about just taking one. Yes, I know she gave me the coupon, so she is still controlling things. It’s irrational, but it’s how I feel.
We also had a brief Punishment discussion. We have both learned there are things I love to hate and things I just hate. Punishment spankings are very unpleasant and I hate then when I get them; something I love to hate. While I haven’t experienced it yet, extending my wait time or leaving me in my cage without play are things I really don’t want. So far, I haven’t had to experience those things. In fact, I have no idea what I would have to do to earn either.
It’s all two sides of the same coin. On the reward side, I really want that bonus orgasm. I’m extremely horny. But it feels wrong to me to redeem the coupon. I wish I could trade it for a day or two less wait. That’s a reward that feels better to me. On the other side of the coin, I like that Mrs. Lion punishes me sometimes. She isn’t very consistent yet, but she is well on her way. I don’t want to earn extra days, but I do want to feel what it is like to get a punishment I absolutely hate. And, of course, I don’t want to spend days locked in my cage with no attention. Poor Mrs. Lion. She has to figure me out and I can’t even do that!
I started this post early Saturday (9/20) morning. It’s close to noon now. After she woke up, I talked about this with Mrs. Lion. She read this post. She said she doesn’t understand at all. I asked if she would consider trading the orgasm for days off my wait. She didn’t answer. Meanwhile, that coupon was burning a hole in my pocket — well not my pocket, I have to be naked at home. It was on the dresser. I could hear it calling to me. I was feeling those familiar twitches between my legs. I gave in!
I got up, grabbed the coupon and handed it to Mrs. Lion.
Now?, she asked.
No, anytime today you want.
That’s it. I caved. I updated my daily status to “9” — I may explode if I don’t get to come today! — and will deal with my conscience once I get release. Theoretically, I can select how I get to come. I can’t decide. Maybe I will leave it up to Mrs. Lion to decide. I’m sure she will tell you what happened in her post tomorrow.