For the most part, Lion’s cage has been the rebirth of our sex life. I’ve been playing with him more. He’s had more attention in the past nine months than he has in years. Despite being locked away most of the time, he’s had more orgasms. Although I’m not consistent, he’s had more punishment and certainly more rewards. Despite that, we were missing something. We always hold hands, but we had stopped snuggling. I think somehow the cage became a barrier in that respect too. Maybe, as the bottom, he was afraid to encroach. Maybe, as the top, I thought he got enough attention from me. I don’t know. But the other night I decided to snuggle a bit. And then yesterday we talked about it and realized we were both missing it.
I think I’ve been caught up in the whole what-am-I-supposed-to-do as a top and forgot that, first and foremost, we are lovers. It may sound strange, but to me there’s a difference between sex and making love. We’ve been having sex. I think it’s been a long time since we made love. What’s the difference? In my opinion, it’s sex when I play with Lion and then give him an orgasm. Or when he gives me an orgasm. Making love involves snuggling and kissing and making out. Less of an I’m doing it to him vibe and more of a we’re enjoying each other vibe.
So I’m leading a back to basics charge. It doesn’t have to be at odds with his cage or punishment or play. In fact, if we are snuggling more, he may find himself getting more attention. It may not be a spanking, but I’m sure his balls will be happy to be rubbed and fondled even if Mr.is still caged. And it won’t take the place of playing with him. I know he needs to be tied up and/or spanked from time to time. He’ll still get agreed upon attention. But we’ll both get the closeness we’ve been missing.