Month: September 2014 (Page 2)

I haven’t looked through all the posts, there are over 300, but I don’t think I was the first one to mention Lion’s inability to maintain an erection. I posted something about his inability to initiate and it went from there. It’s never my intent to belittle him. I’ve been learning a lot about myself, sometimes as I’m writing, which may be why Lion says my posts come as a surprise to him. Me too, a lot of the time.

While I say I can trace a lot of my issues back to some point way back when, I’m just speculating. Lack of libido is not something I consciously decided to give a try. Yes, at various points I stopped playing with Lion in reaction to the lack of reciprocation, but I never consciously flipped the switch on my libido. It’s only now that we’ve got our sex life under a microscope and I’m trying to trace back to a time when sex worked for me that I think I may have found it. I think. I may have. Not definite. Not positive. And, if anything, I think that puts me in the hot seat.

Why didn’t I say something at the time? I could have headed off the problems we’ve had over the past however many years. I could have made Lion happier. But I wasn’t aware of what the problem was. Now I realize it’s me. Not Lion. Whatever he can or cannot do. Whatever I can or cannot do. I’m the only one who can fix me. I don’t know how to do that yet but, as they say, admitting you have a problem is the first step.

On to last night. I wasn’t really in the mood to play with Lion, but it was one of our agreed upon nights. I unlocked Lion and thought we’d just snuggle a bit with me holding his penis. But of course I started stroking and he started bucking. But I put a stop to that. I decided to use my mouth. He loves it and once I started, I wanted to give him an orgasm. I asked if he wanted to come and of course he did. I would say I allowed him to come, but he really had no choice in the matter. I wasn’t stopping.

Afterward I was thinking about leaving him wild. He was satisfied so there was no danger of him masturbating. I was worried, however, that he would think I no longer wanted him caged. When he asked if he should put his ring on, I told him he could stay wild. He asked why and I told him I wanted him to be comfortable. I’m not done with the cage yet. We have more to learn and more to do.

It seems that Mrs. Lion and I often post about the same thing. We don’t read each other’s posts before we write our own. She generally writes hers on the day it appears. Since mine is published very early in the morning, I write mine the day before. It’s interesting to me that our topic choices are generally the same. Hers however, tend to be from a very different point of view. That’s certainly to be expected. I wonder if anyone thinks that we discuss these things before we write them. We don’t. Generally, we give each other a heads-up to read the upcoming post. Most often we just approve and move on. On occasion we disagree about an upcoming post. Sometimes there are corrections, other times it just goes through anyway.

There are occasions when I wince a bit when Mrs. Lion reveals something I have never discussed with anyone but her. Some of the things she writes make me look less than perfect. When I see those things I usually don’t mention them. You have a right to see me through her eyes. Just some of the things she sees and reports does make me feel smaller.

That’s both the risk and the price of sharing our lives out here on the web. Friday, Mrs. Lion said,

Because Lion can’t maintain an erection while on top or standing, most of the heavy lifting falls on me. And, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe one of the reasons why I don’t care about sex so much is because I started seeing it as work. It became something that we don’t do together so much as I do it to him and I’m supposed to jump on the bandwagon.

 It’s true that I have had trouble maintaining my erection when standing. I think it may be more psychological than physical, but it’s true. Apparently, according to Mrs. Lion, her loss of interest in sex is due to my inabilities. So, if I take some boner pills and change the position we have coitus, her libido will return. I’m willing to try. I will do anything I can to help her recover her enjoyment of sex. Does this mean that she is unhappy I am caged and that it’s just one more thing that is work for her? That’s what’s going through my mind.

I’m sure that this isn’t why you come here to read our blog.  Sometimes reality can intrude in our enforced chastity. I think it’s important (to me at least) that I share the bad with the good. Relationships are complex. Locking my penis in a cage doesn’t simplify ours. Maybe it makes it more complicated and difficult.

The thing that you probably can’t tell from reading this is what effect this saddening information has on our relationship. The fact is that it has no serious effect. We love each other completely and while we both are clearly unhappy with sex right now, we aren’t unhappy with each other. That means everything to me.

Thursday night Mrs.Lion unlocked me for some teasing. I was absolutely ready to go. She did something different. She stroked me very slowly with long up and down movements. Her hand was in a different position too. It wasn’t very long before I wanted to help. I couldn’t stop myself. My hips pumped trying to fuck her hand. There were times years ago when I would be on my knees and Mrs. Lion would just hold my penis. I had to thrust to get stimulation. She would let me fuck her hand until I came. I liked that a lot. This experience was a little different but it immediately made me think back to those other times when I supplied all the movement.

What surprised me was what happened when I felt close to coming. I told her that I was going to come soon. She just said,

“Yes.”

And she kept stroking. In a few seconds I had a delicious, surprise orgasm. Later, I asked why she let me come. She said,

“You were working so hard thrusting, I just felt you should come.”

Wow, wow, wow. I was taken completely by surprise. This was a truly excellent treat. It had been five days since I had used my orgasm reward coupon, so I was at a high level of excitement. My next orgasm is scheduled for 9/30, only five days from Thursday’s surprise.

I am very mellow today. It feels great to have had release last night. Some males say they feel let down or depressed after orgasm. I don’t. I am happy and relaxed. Sex is not on my mind now.

Apparently, there is a wide range of post-orgasmic  reactions for males. Based on my reading around the Web, many of the guys who end up caged, have real letdowns or even depression for some time after coming. Maybe one reason they want to avoid orgasm is to avoid these feelings. Some have said that the tease-and-deny is ideal for them. They get the fun of massive arousal without the letdown if they orgasm.

I wonder how many caged males feel just fine after orgasm like me. My interest in being caged has nothing to do with how sex feels to me. I love it. It feels good before, during, and after. My interest is in surrendering control. Mrs. Lion gets that and her treatment of me reflects my particular kink.  The process has been evolutionary. Progress is steady.

I know that my contentment is temporary. By Sunday I will be extremely interested in coming. I may be tonight. However, my caging is not about orgasms. It’s about control. If my wait is a day, an hour, or a month, it is under Mrs. Lion’s control. I am very happy about that.

Some nights I tell myself that I will just play with Lion. I will not edge him. I’ll get him hard, but never quite take him that far. One of these days I might actually do it. But not last night. In all fairness, I didn’t edge him.

I was giving him a slow hand job while playing with his balls. As I moved down, he bucked up. And there was such a look of determination on his face, like the Little Engine That Could (I think I can, I think I can), I decided if he could get himself up that hill then he could have an orgasm. Of course, I was cheering him on by gripping his cock a little tighter and tickling his balls. I did wonder if he was both trying to come and not to come. A conflict of wanting release and not being sure if he was allowed to have it. Finally he asked if he could come. When I said yes, it didn’t take long. As a sort of additional reward I didn’t force him to eat it.

A long time ago I told Lion to masturbate using my hand instead of his. Last night was similar to that. I was a little more involved in the process this time in that I was moving my hand and playing with his balls. As I was thinking about it this morning I discovered why I like to make Lion work for his orgasm. In most other tasks, I am the one doing all the work. I’m spanking him. I’m pegging him. I’m riding him. I’m giving the hand job. I’m giving the blow job. Because Lion can’t maintain an erection while on top or standing, most of the heavy lifting falls on me. And, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe one of the reasons why I don’t care about sex so much is because I started seeing it as work. It became something that we don’t do together so much as I do it to him and I’m supposed to jump on the bandwagon. They say 90% of sex is in the brain. My brain appears to be shut down. It seems that caging my Lion has shown how much of our problems are my problems.

I’m sure you can tell that I start out writing a post about one thing and halfway through I come to a “brilliant” realization that other things are at work. Now if I could just figure out how to fix things, we’d be all set.