Doldrums

(Monday, October 6, 2014) Generally by this point in my wait I am tree-humping horny. But not this time. I’m just not interested in sex right now. That is very unusual. It’s the first time since I have been caged that I haven’t wanted an orgasm. The cause could be that daily pressures are mounting up. It could also be that I am going through a natural cycle of non-arousal. Who knows? But it does feel odd. I toyed with the idea of not writing a post today. After all, my lack of sexual arousal is hardly interesting. But then I realized that I am probably not alone. I also realize that my sexual state could change in an instant.

Most people, male and female, assume that males are always ready to go sexually. I have to admit that is mostly true of me. I seem to have two kinds of arousal: general and situational. General arousal is that warm undercurrent of sexual wanting. Since being caged, that undercurrent has come much closer to the surface. I am generally aware of my wanting release. As the days of enforced abstinence go by, and as Mrs. Lion does her every-other-day tease sessions, the need gets stronger and closer to the surface. Situational arousal is triggered by stimuli; a cute butt, sexy smile, Mrs. Lion saying something that lets me know I will be stimulated. The longer I wait, the less overtly sexual the stimulus needs to be.

I suspect that most males are like this. I think my situational arousal capabilities are fine, but my general arousal state has taken a vacation. Many years ago I was prescribed an anti-depressant. It was a very tough time in my life. The drug removed my interest in sex. I remember that it felt very good. I was comfortable and at peace. I remember being very surprised by this. I expected massive frustration. Of course I was drugged so maybe that kept me feeling good in the absence of sexual interest.

I’ve read other males write that they hate that feeling of loss of arousal. They complain that they get it the days after an orgasm. The say that they prefer the constant state of wanting sex. I can see that, but it isn’t how I work. I like the challenge of being caged and just absolutely needing release. That plays right into my need for control and the bondage of the cage. I love when I finally get release and I truly enjoy the quiet of post-orgasmic lack of arousal.

My current state doesn’t feel bad. It just worries me a little since it happens so rarely. I want to be horny. I want to display the desperation that Mrs. Lion finds so amusing. My last orgasm was four days ago, so by rights I should be ready to hump a tree. But I’m not. If given a choice, I wouldn’t want an orgasm tonight. At least that’s how I feel at 9AM. That could change by 9PM. If I felt this way on Thursday night, my scheduled orgasm night, I think it would upset me. I want those occasions to be amazing. Somehow I think my doldrums will be over before then.

This got me thinking about the role of teasing in the enforced chastity experience. Since there is nothing wrong with my situational arousal, does being in the sexual doldrums become a cue for Mrs. Lion to redouble her efforts to tease me to distraction? Would increased teasing awaken my general state of arousal? I don’t know. If one point of this experience is to assure that I stay as generally horny as possible, I suppose she would want to frustrate me more than usual and even repeat it more frequently. I wonder if that would work.

This is a little like yesterday’s session in the sling. I wasn’t in the mood, but Mrs. Lion did it anyway. It was not comfortable or fun. I thought at the time it was because I wasn’t aroused. But thinking back, Mrs. Lion has left me caged and unteased while performing anal training. I liked that just fine. I think that my current lack of general arousal contributed to my not enjoying the sling time.

Another part of me is very happy that Mrs. Lion did the anal training despite my lack of arousal. That kind of activity sends a clear message about who is in charge. It tells me that Mrs. Lion isn’t shoving dildos up my ass to entertain me, but to meet an objective of hers. It’s like being spanked right after an orgasm. There is nothing sexy about that. At that point, the spanking is all about the power exchange. And that, after all, is what I want the most.

 

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex

What do you think?