Mrs. Lion wrote a post about last weekend. She mentioned that I argued with her on Friday night and the argument upset her but she didn’t say anything and just “stewed in her juices.” My immediate thought was that she had many disciplinary tools at her disposal, why didn’t she use one? Upon reflection, I realized that she said she was unable to confront me and end the argument. If that’s the case, why would she better able to spank me or add days to my wait?
Sometimes I think that because I surrendered power to Mrs. Lion, I also magically equipped her to manage any situation where I am involved. That’s completely unfair. Our enforced chastity and power exchange covers a very specific set of behaviors that both of us are comfortable handling. While it feels sensible to extend those powers to manage any undesirable behavior I might display, it isn’t in the deal. Even if I want her to do that, she hasn’t accepted that as part of her role.
That’s the key — Mrs. Lion’s role — she didn’t become my mom or manager of my life. She agreed to take sexual charge, not total lion control. All of the things that were hard for her to do before I was locked up, stay just as difficult now.
As the caged male, I love to live in a world where Mrs. Lion is in control. I don’t want to think of her as assuming a role. I want to think of her as the boss; my owner and trainer. To consider her as playing a role means I have to step out of my role of pet and helpless, caged male. It’s way too easy to just push all the responsibility on Mrs. Lion and take the position that I have no power so if she doesn’t like my behavior, she can punish me.
She may have the power that I granted her, but she hasn’t accepted the responsibility. It’s my fault she had a bad weekend. I thoughtlessly argued and made her feel small. I was wrong. Would I like to be punished for this? Yes. Should Mrs. Lion feel that she needs to punish me? Absolutely not! It is clearly out of bounds in terms of our power exchange. I am very willing to accept the consequences for doing anything that makes my lovely lioness feel badly, but she is not obligated to take any action at all.
That’s the entire point. We caged males have no right to expect all of our sins to be absolved by keyholder discipline. Our keyholders shouldn’t feel the obligation to take us out of adulthood and treat us as the toddlers we may sometimes be. We are grown ups and even though in the context of enforced chastity we are treated as children, it doesn’t mean we are children. We have to take adult responsibility for our actions and protect and love our partners. The fact that Mrs. Lion is my keyholder doesn’t relieve me of the responsibility to protect and love her. It’s my job to always treat her with love and respect. That certainly shouldn’t have to be beaten into me.
Mrs. Lion does not own changing her behavior when I do something that upsets her outside our power exchange. We both own working out a way to resolve these issues as they happen. It can be as simple as Mrs. Lion saying,
“Stop arguing with me.”
And me replying,
And shutting up.
I’m sure it will be very hard for Mrs. Lion to do that, and I am very sure I will want to keep arguing. We both have to learn tricks like this to avoid hurt feelings and bad weekends. These are basic relationship skills and have nothing to do with our play. Having said that, if Mrs. Lion, once she is over the feelings, wants to underscore her displeasure, then she can, only if she wishes, appropriately discipline me. I have given her that power. She hasn’t accepted it, but is free to at any time. That’s the big difference. I fully understand that it isn’t up to Mrs. Lion to teach me to treat her with respect at all times. That’s up to me. But I have granted the right to help me learn if she wants.