October 2014 (Page 11)

Mrs. Lion wrote  a post about last weekend. She mentioned that I argued with her on Friday night and the argument upset her but she didn’t say anything and just “stewed in her juices.” My immediate thought was that she had many disciplinary tools at her disposal, why didn’t she use one? Upon reflection, I realized that she said she was unable to confront me and end the argument. If that’s the case, why would she better able to spank me or add days to my wait?

Sometimes I think that because I surrendered power to Mrs. Lion, I also magically equipped her to manage any situation where I am involved. That’s completely unfair. Our enforced chastity and power exchange covers a very specific set of behaviors that both of us are comfortable handling. While it feels sensible to extend those powers to manage any undesirable behavior I might display, it isn’t in the deal. Even if I want her to do that, she hasn’t accepted that as part of her role.

That’s the key — Mrs. Lion’s role — she didn’t become my mom or manager of my life. She agreed to take sexual charge, not total lion control. All of the things that were hard for her to do before I was locked up, stay just as difficult now.

As the caged male, I love to live in a world where Mrs. Lion is in control. I don’t want to think of her as assuming a role. I want to think of her as the boss; my owner and trainer. To consider her as playing a role means I have to step out of my role of pet and helpless, caged male. It’s way too easy to just push all the responsibility on Mrs. Lion and take the position that I have no power so if she doesn’t like my behavior, she can punish me.

She may have the power that I granted her, but she hasn’t accepted the responsibility. It’s my fault she had a bad weekend. I thoughtlessly argued and made her feel small. I was wrong. Would I like to be punished for this? Yes. Should Mrs. Lion feel that she needs to punish me? Absolutely not!  It is clearly out of bounds in terms of our power exchange. I am very willing to accept the consequences for doing anything that makes my lovely lioness feel badly, but she is not obligated to take any action at all.

That’s the entire point. We caged males have no right to expect all of our sins to be absolved by keyholder discipline. Our keyholders shouldn’t feel the obligation to take us out of adulthood and treat us as the toddlers we may sometimes be. We are grown ups and even though in the context of enforced chastity we are treated as children, it doesn’t mean we are children. We have to take adult responsibility for our actions and protect and love our partners. The fact that Mrs. Lion is my keyholder doesn’t relieve me of the responsibility to protect and love her. It’s my job to always treat her with love and respect. That certainly shouldn’t have to be beaten into me.

Mrs. Lion does not own changing her behavior when I do something that upsets her outside our power exchange. We both own working out a way to resolve these issues as they happen. It can be as simple as Mrs. Lion saying,

“Stop arguing with me.”

And me replying,

“Yes, Ma’am.”

And shutting up.

I’m sure it will be very hard for Mrs. Lion to do that, and I am very sure I will want to keep arguing. We both have to learn tricks like this to avoid hurt feelings and bad weekends. These are basic relationship skills and have nothing to do with our play. Having said that, if Mrs. Lion, once she is over the feelings, wants to underscore her displeasure, then she can, only if she wishes, appropriately discipline me. I have given her that power. She hasn’t accepted it, but is free to at any time. That’s the big difference. I fully understand that it isn’t up to Mrs. Lion to teach me to treat her with respect at all times. That’s up to me. But I have granted the right to help me learn if she wants.

(Monday, October 6, 2014) Generally by this point in my wait I am tree-humping horny. But not this time. I’m just not interested in sex right now. That is very unusual. It’s the first time since I have been caged that I haven’t wanted an orgasm. The cause could be that daily pressures are mounting up. It could also be that I am going through a natural cycle of non-arousal. Who knows? But it does feel odd. I toyed with the idea of not writing a post today. After all, my lack of sexual arousal is hardly interesting. But then I realized that I am probably not alone. I also realize that my sexual state could change in an instant.

Most people, male and female, assume that males are always ready to go sexually. I have to admit that is mostly true of me. I seem to have two kinds of arousal: general and situational. General arousal is that warm undercurrent of sexual wanting. Since being caged, that undercurrent has come much closer to the surface. I am generally aware of my wanting release. As the days of enforced abstinence go by, and as Mrs. Lion does her every-other-day tease sessions, the need gets stronger and closer to the surface. Situational arousal is triggered by stimuli; a cute butt, sexy smile, Mrs. Lion saying something that lets me know I will be stimulated. The longer I wait, the less overtly sexual the stimulus needs to be.

I suspect that most males are like this. I think my situational arousal capabilities are fine, but my general arousal state has taken a vacation. Many years ago I was prescribed an anti-depressant. It was a very tough time in my life. The drug removed my interest in sex. I remember that it felt very good. I was comfortable and at peace. I remember being very surprised by this. I expected massive frustration. Of course I was drugged so maybe that kept me feeling good in the absence of sexual interest.

I’ve read other males write that they hate that feeling of loss of arousal. They complain that they get it the days after an orgasm. The say that they prefer the constant state of wanting sex. I can see that, but it isn’t how I work. I like the challenge of being caged and just absolutely needing release. That plays right into my need for control and the bondage of the cage. I love when I finally get release and I truly enjoy the quiet of post-orgasmic lack of arousal.

My current state doesn’t feel bad. It just worries me a little since it happens so rarely. I want to be horny. I want to display the desperation that Mrs. Lion finds so amusing. My last orgasm was four days ago, so by rights I should be ready to hump a tree. But I’m not. If given a choice, I wouldn’t want an orgasm tonight. At least that’s how I feel at 9AM. That could change by 9PM. If I felt this way on Thursday night, my scheduled orgasm night, I think it would upset me. I want those occasions to be amazing. Somehow I think my doldrums will be over before then.

This got me thinking about the role of teasing in the enforced chastity experience. Since there is nothing wrong with my situational arousal, does being in the sexual doldrums become a cue for Mrs. Lion to redouble her efforts to tease me to distraction? Would increased teasing awaken my general state of arousal? I don’t know. If one point of this experience is to assure that I stay as generally horny as possible, I suppose she would want to frustrate me more than usual and even repeat it more frequently. I wonder if that would work.

This is a little like yesterday’s session in the sling. I wasn’t in the mood, but Mrs. Lion did it anyway. It was not comfortable or fun. I thought at the time it was because I wasn’t aroused. But thinking back, Mrs. Lion has left me caged and unteased while performing anal training. I liked that just fine. I think that my current lack of general arousal contributed to my not enjoying the sling time.

Another part of me is very happy that Mrs. Lion did the anal training despite my lack of arousal. That kind of activity sends a clear message about who is in charge. It tells me that Mrs. Lion isn’t shoving dildos up my ass to entertain me, but to meet an objective of hers. It’s like being spanked right after an orgasm. There is nothing sexy about that. At that point, the spanking is all about the power exchange.  And that, after all, is what I want the most.