November 2014

Even though I came on the 26th, I am as horny as I was on the 25th. This is in no small part due to Mrs. Lion’s tease and deny Friday night. As she wrote in her post Friday, Mrs. Lion had planned a thorough spanking followed by some serious teasing. True to her word, she brought some spanking implements into the bedroom. Since I must always be naked at home, there is never the wasted time of having me undress first. It was a bit chilly so my balls were tight pushing against the base ring on my cage. She  unlocked me and I removed the base ring. Then, she had me roll over on my stomach for my spanking. She did a great job. But she sensed I wasn’t really into it. She asked me if that was the case. I admitted it was.

My interest in spanking was low on Friday night because about an hour before we played, I slipped and fell, banging my chin against the arm of a char. It was pretty sore and a bit of a mood killer. But as I learned soon enough, not that much of a mood killer, after all. After the spanking, she had me roll onto my back and began masturbating me. It took quite a while to get me really excited. At least it felt that way to me. Mrs. Lion is not a quitter, so persistence and her very impressive jerk-off skill got me going and wanting to come. She edged me over and over. At one point she asked if I had enough. I thought I had and told her. However, after a few minutes of snuggling I was very ready again and she obliged. This time, no matter how many times she edged me, I was ready for more. She stopped with me wanting her to go on and on. It was amazing! The fact that I wasn’t in the mood didn’t stop Mrs. Lion this time. I’m very glad. After all, she’s in charge.

That reminds me; we got a comment the other day asking why Mrs. Lion uses fixed orgasm dates. She said it was because I want them. She was also asked why I get punished for not writing an email every day before noon. Her answer again, because I want discipline and she thought that was a good opportunity.  That, I’m sure, started wheels turning in the minds of some of our readers. After all, if she’s in charge, why do I get to decide whether I get a fixed orgasm date or just have to wait until Mrs. Lion is in the mood to let me come. That’s a fair question. The fact is that I don’t get to decide, but Mrs. Lion heard me out on the subject and decided, at least for now, to go with fixed dates.

There are several reasons, I explained. The first is that a fixed date gives me something to focus on and anticipate. That makes the tease and deny all that more difficult because I know that no matter how desperate she makes me, she won’t let me come until the scheduled date. The second reason is that if I have a fixed date, she can add time if I am naughty or give me some time off if she wants as well. As I learned last month, having my time extended really hurts. It is an effective punishment. It’s probably the only punishment she has used where there is no secret pleasure in getting it. That date becomes a most effective tool.

If you think about it, a fixed date is no loss of power for Mrs. Lion. She can give me an orgasm any time she wants. She can also extend my wait on a whim. So she still has total control of my orgasms. For me, however, the effect of that date is very powerful. Last night as she was teasing me, I thought about the next date and just wished it were December 5 right then. There is a much more powerful effect on me knowing that my fate is sealed and while she can get me off any time, chances are really good that she will wait.  Oh how I wish she would give me an orgasm! I’ve been incredibly horny since she teased me Friday night.

A poor, horny lion can hope, can’t he?

Lion is a horny beast. I am not so much. He feels guilty that he gets all the sex. I feel guilty that I don’t give him enough.

It’s true that my sex drive has been stuck in neutral for a long time. At one point Lion tried every night to turn me on. It caused tension because I was never ready. More recently I said I should have an orgasm at least once a week in an attempt to jumpstart my libido. I let that fall by the wayside too. A few weeks ag I told Lion he could lick me. He said he’d love to do it more often. I told him he could do it whenever he wanted. It was my way to encourage him to initiate again. However, I did not make that clear.

We are still stuck with my not wanting to ask for sex and his not wanting to initiate. Granted, his previous attempts at initiating were met with rejection, so I understand why he is gun shy. I spend so much time planning for his pleasure that I don’t feel I should have to ask for my own. Impasse. We definitely need to communicate better.

I want to stress the fact that I am not horny. Lion has nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not like I am tree-humping horny and he is ignoring me. I know if I even give a hint that I am horny he will be on me in a second. I am only speculating that more attempts at sex would start my engine. There’s no guarantee.

Lion is not guilty.

A great deal of what you read about enforced chastity talks about the transition into this new sexual state. Most of the attention is focused on devices, security, comfort, need to ejaculate, etc. It’s like much of the stuff you read online. The most words are written by people who have just discovered or tried whatever they are writing about.

Months ago, I stopped thinking about how my cage fits and whether or not I can pull out. In place of that stuff, I am thinking more and more about how enforced chastity affects our relationship. Mrs. Lion’s sexual motor isn’t running yet. Everything she writes is about my sexual frustration and satisfaction. Where is her pleasure? In the excitement of my fantasy coming true, it was easier to avoid asking that question. But as enforced chastity becomes our way of life, I can’t keep pushing that into the background.

It’s not just me. I think it is many of us. Mrs. Lion’s life hasn’t changed all that much. Well, it has in terms of her spending a lot more time thinking, writing, and doing things involving my chastity. She plans activities that she knows I want (if not like). She gives and gives, and gives. She gets exactly as much sex as she wants. She always did. I do my best to take care of her and give her everything she wants. I did that before getting caged. We had a happy marriage. We still do but with more work for Mrs. Lion. That makes me feel guilty.

This feeling isn’t provoked by anything Mrs. Lion has said or done. It’s there because I don’t feel that I am doing anything in return for all this extra attention. The problem with guilt is that it can cause behavior changes that are pretty destructive. One classic change is that the guilty party withdraws to avoid feeling more guilt. This is incredibly destructive. It’s like throwing gifts away because you feel badly that you don’t have one to return that is of equal value.

Another behavior is to reciprocate with unwelcome gifts of your own. Consider the very stereotypical scenario where a guy is caged and then puts all his sexual energy into getting his keyholder off all the time. That’s great if she wants that. But does she? Many times people won’t be honest about sexual things. She might be feeling guilty that you are guilty about not getting her off enough, so she goes along. This happens a lot.

Dealing with this, I think, requires a lot of communication. I have to be brave enough to keep asking Mrs. Lion if she feels she is doing too much. I need her to be honest when she answers. If she ends up agreeing that she is giving too much then we have to work together to see if there are ways to make both of us happy. If not, then I have to be prepared to give up some or all of my enforced chastity fantasy.

The reason I feel guilt is that Mrs. Lion means more to me than anything in the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t give up or change to make her happy. This has nothing at all to do with her authority as my keyholder and even less to do with my cage. It is all about where she stands in my life. She comes first. She always has and she always will.