Mrs. Lion is better today. She’s still achy, but more energy and less flu-like symptoms. That’s good. I hate when she feels ill. I’ve remained safely in my cage. My interest in sex is dropping. There is a clear correlation between teasing and horniness, at least for me. I don’t mind that. Most important is my lioness.

Mrs. Lion keeps saying that I want her to be mean. That’s a bit confusing. If I want something, how is it mean? It’s kind because it is meeting a need of mine. But that’s too logical. I think the fact is that each person defines what’s mean or kind based on an internal standard. Mrs. Lion thinks it is mean to make me more desperate to come when she has postponed my scheduled orgasm because I misbehaved. Why? Because in her mind that would be making a bad situation worse. Words to the effect, “It’s bad enough he has to wait.” comes to mind. So, you go to the trouble to make a point by withholding sex only to worry that it would be worse I I want it more?

As she correctly pointed out in her post, Mrs. Lion said that I had asked for this, after all, and really had no one else to blame. I wasn’t blaming anyone. I really hated the punishment, but not the fact that I was punished. I want that. I think this is what makes the top/keyholder role confusing at times. You are asked to behave in a way that is mean and unkind by most standards. Yet, it is exactly what your partner wants. I think the key is to realize that what you are doing isn’t you. It is a role you play in support of enforced chastity. You can still be the generous, loving person you are and still give your caged male the stern mistress he craves.

Of course, you can’t do this twenty-four hours a day.No one can. He has to understand that. You both need to agree on when you are in your dominant keyholder mode and when you are a loving partner. As a caged male, I would love to imagine that Mrs. Lion is my stern owner 24/7, but that would be incredibly selfish of me. She has needs that can’t be satisfied by dominatrix demands. They must be satisfied for her to be a happy lioness.

It is very tempting to try to slip into a full-time lifestyle of stern domination and submission, but few can keep it up for very long. One key job that the caged male has is to make sure that his keyholder is getting what she needs. That isn’t what she demands, but what she needs as a person, friend, woman, and partner. That is our job. Once we find the balance between domination and partnership, we can settle into a lifelong enforced chastity adventure.

Just sayin’.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity