Thursday night Mrs. Lion did an incredible tease and deny. In her post yesterday, she wrote that she brought me to the edge five times. I couldn’t tell you. I was so caught up in the sensations that I have no idea how long or how many. It felt great and it left me longing for that happy ending that wasn’t going to come. She knows exactly where to rub me to maximize the sensation and she has learned how far to go. The first time or two, she didn’t push me to the very brink of orgasm. But as she continued, she brought me closer and closer. All I could do was groan when she stopped. When she started stimulating me again, it felt like my eyes were rolling back in my head. I was completely consumed by the sensation. She wrote that she only waited a few seconds after each stop. That made a big difference to me. It was like I stayed on the edge of orgasm the entire time. I really wanted to come!
She also wrote that maybe she is “mean” because she was easily able to tease me and deny me. I don’t think of that as mean. She didn’t humiliate me or make me feel small. She was strict. That’s exactly what I asked of her. I’m very happy she has learned to feel good about denying me. Don’t tell her, but I would like to be teased more frequently and for longer. I love this new approach of hers. The golden rule may apply to most things in life, but not to power exchange. I don’t want her doing to me what she would want me to do to her. Not at all! I think she is beginning to realize that on a gut level.
It’s true that she isn’t as strict about discipline. I think it’s because she thinks about how it would make her feel if I treated her the way I want her to treat me. So, it seems natural that she would have trouble “hurting” me because she knows how it would make her feel if I did that to her. I got this insight when we were talking the other night. She expressed that if I edged her, she would be angry and upset. She found it very hard to believe that I like it. Maybe that talk got her thinking about the fact that my feelings about things and hers can be very different, even opposite.
Spanking is a tougher nut to crack. For one thing, I hate it when I am being punished. No endorphin high to make it feel good to me. She knows I hate it. Why, then, would I want her to do it and even do it more and harder? It’s not as irrational as it seems. I want to feel her control. I know that discipline will be very unpleasant It’s supposed to be. But knowing that I am subject to it and remembering how it made me feel controlled, even owned, is a big turn on to me. It’s how this lion is wired. Even though she doesn’t think so, I see her evolving. She hits harder and gives more swats. Just as with edging, she sees that I am not learning to hate her or think her mean.
The bottom line is that both of us have to learn to live in our roles. We each have growing pains. True, mine are more physically painful, but hers strain her in different ways. I think we love each other more than before we started, if that’s even possible. It just takes patience and effort, and a good swatting arm.