(Saturday, November 8, 2014) I woke up this morning feeling massively horny. I continue with this unusual level of arousal. It is my fifth day since orgasm. That seems to be the most difficult day for me; at least so far. I haven’t had to wait more than 11 days in a row. This wait is scheduled to be 14 days. Part of this arousal is certainly due to Mrs. Lion’s vastly improved tease and denial, as well as her new attitude toward ignoring my need to come. I haven’t said anything about these feelings to her. She will probably learn about them reading my post.
Over the last few days, Mrs. Lion and I have been posting what amounts to a dialogue about her doing things that she knows are, how shall we say , uncomfortable for me. This includes making me wait longer than I might like, tease and deny, spanking, and other disciplinary activities. Her Saturday post referred to things she doesn’t like but others do. I guess that’s why we have more than one channel on our TV. People like different things. She likes reality cop shows, I like sitcoms. She likes fast food, I like french cooking. That’s part of what makes being with her so much fun. We have very different likes and dislikes.
The Journal is about my enforced male chastity, so we don’t really spend much time writing about music and sushi. Lately, we aren’t spending much time talking about sex either. What we seem to be writing about lately is power exchange in the context of our enforced chastity. Let’s face it, no matter how it manifests, every guy who is locked in a chastity device is playing with power exchange. For me, that’s what makes it so sexy and exciting. I’ve surrendered control of my favorite activity to my keyholder.
The only problem is that she hadn’t considered having that control. Based on my reading and conversations with others practicing power exchange, this isn’t very unusual. It is extremely rare to find a woman who gets turned on having control. In my many decades in the leather community (BDSM in Internet speak), I can count on two hands the number of women are are organic tops ( Def. Organic Top: a person who gets sexual pleasure out of having and using power over another).
Those of us lucky enough to have keyholders, almost always had a relationship with them prior to wanting to be locked up. It’s fair to say that, except for those lucky guys who have a relationship with an organic top , the rest of us have to “train” our keyholders in the fine art of male control. This is particularly hard for most of us, because we have no experience to draw on in our attempt to teach our keyholders their role.
What usually happens is that we play back our chastity fantasies and expect our partners to act them out. This can work for a few hours, even a weekend. But for long term enforced chastity, both the caged male and keyholder have to evolve the power exchange to work for them. Mrs. Lion and I have been at this for almost ten months now. I have been locked up full time with brief opportunities to be out of my cage. I haven’t masturbated since February. Any sexual pleasure I get has come at the hands (and other parts) of Mrs. Lion.
She has worked hard to bring a form of my fantasy to life for me. She also goes to the opera with me and occasionally accompanies me to a sushi restaurant. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. She is my soul mate (sounds corny, but it’s true) and my best friend. If she weren’t, I doubt she would put in the time and energy she does to my enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion still has almost no interest in sex for herself, so the sexual activity has been one way. The one time she teased me, locked me up, and then told me to make her come, stands out as one of our best chastity moments.
Mrs. Lion has struggled with my need for discipline. Make no mistake, over the years she has learned to be a very effective spanker. Unfortunately, she still finds it difficult to do. I think that in time, she will learn to treat it the same way she treats teasing me. She no longer feels badly that I go back in my cage desperate for release. It may even be a little funny to her. After all, I asked for it, didn’t I? Great progress! I think that she may learn to find my squirming under her paddle to be a little funny too. There is an element of humor there. I asked, even begged her to do this to me, and there I am on the bed trying to squirm away from her swats. A bit ironic, no? I think that could end up being pretty amusing for her.
In a way, I am a bit surprised we have kept it up this long. There are times I truly hate enforced chastity. And there are times that Mrs. Lion finds all this too much for her. But she has never even suggested that she wants to stop. When I complain about being so horny and being locked up, she generally looks straight at me and says, “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”