Things are changing here in our den. In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion announced that any attention she provides to me should “count” toward her self-imposed every-other-day minimum lion attention schedule. I like to just count teasing, but as she correctly said, that is completely up to her. You may be confused why there is a schedule at all. Mrs. Lion is in charge and can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. She imposed the schedule on herself because she wants to be sure she is regularly attending to me. In the past, our sexual activities have just fallen out of our lives. To prevent that, Mrs. Lion announced that at least every other day, I will get sexual attention.
This attention, however, can take any form she chooses. I’ve been told that I have no input on what counts or doesn’t count. My opinion is no longer being solicited. This decision represents a significant step for both of us. Mrs. Lion is asserting her control. I am learning to accept that.
I guess I’m not a typical submissive male. Most of my life I have been actively dominant. No one would describe me as submissive. But yet, I want control. However, I’m not an easy lion to tame. I’m willful and have my own ideas on how things should go. Poor Mrs. Lion needs to learn how to be dominant at the same time she has to deal with me. It’s not easy for her, but somehow she is doing it.
What about me? Why isn’t it easier for me to be tamed since it’s what I want? That’s a fair question and one that I ask myself frequently. There is a big gap between “want” and “am” — I want to be obedient and accepting — but by nature, I’m not that way at all. So, I have to learn to surrender and obey.
It isn’t Mrs. Lion’s job to beat that into me. It’s my job to learn. So, the ten months it’s taken to get to this point isn’t just due to Mrs. Lion learning to internalize her role. It’s perhaps more because I have to learn to accept mine. I think I am starting to be more accepting. Mrs. Lion and I are progressing together. Ten months ago if she started out the way she is now, we probably would have quit. While I wanted her control, I wasn’t able to handle it. I thought I was, but the truth is I wasn’t. Now, I am much tamer and willing to obey even when it isn’t fun for me.
Mrs. Lion keeps measuring herself in the light of my expectations. I wish she wouldn’t. She might want to consider how far I still have to go. I’m proud of her. I want to become better at being her caged male. I wish I could grow more quickly.