The Most Difficult Day

True to her word, Mrs. Lion took me to the playroom and attached my restraints the the spanking bench for some activity. I hadn’t been on the bench in a while. It was surprisingly uncomfortable. My weight put pressure on my chest and stomach. I’m not sure that it has anything to do with the bench as much as my general condition today. So after a few minutes of spanking and some ball fondling, we went back to the bedroom where she attached me to the bed, face-down and spread eagle.

I should say that I wasn’t released from my cage at all. When I asked if she planned to, she replied that Mr. Weenie was not scheduled for activity. Once in the bedroom, Mrs. Lion used a variety of toys on me. They ranged from her hands (very good at spanking) to a paddle, a strap, and a flogger. The flogger felt very good and Mrs. Lion didn’t hold back using it. After a while, when my ass was bright red, she stopped and released me. Usually, this would be great fun, but being caged with no arousal took something away from the play. It’s not that I need an orgasm in order to enjoy spanking or other sensation play, but apparently arousal is a big part of it. No one ever tried to separate the sexual excitement from the stimulation before, not even Mrs. Lion.

It was good to play. It would have been more fun for me if I were aroused, but begging lions can’t be choosers. The spanking was fine and I enjoyed it, mostly. Sunday was my sixth day waiting. This day like clockwork always finds me rather grumpy. It was no different this time. I wish I understood why on day five I want to hump a tree and on day six I’m generally out of sorts. Of course, I am using superhuman, well superlion self control and I am not acting out. I know what happens when I do that.

At times like this I do wonder why I want to be caged. It’s not so much that I have a burning desire to ejaculate. I don’t. It’s just a more general feeling of unhappiness. In the past, I attributed it to not getting my way. It’s time for me to come, why can’t I? Now! But that’s not case this time. I really don’t know what it is. Earlier in the day, I did want very badly to come. That’s not so surprising. Later, after my spanking, I wasn’t really feeling that horny, just sort of down.

I think it is because at times like this it becomes crystal clear to me that I have no control. I truly gave it away. It isn’t all sexy fun. If I wrote the script, Mrs. Lion would have edged me and then spanked me. Afterward, she might have done it again before locking me away. That’s not what happened. It wasn’t what Mrs. Lion wanted to do. It’s all her way now.

So why should I be sad? After all, it’s exactly what I want. It’s like eating broccoli, you may not like the taste, but it’s good for you. In the case of enforced chastity, it’s my growing pains. It’s experiencing what I wanted. Living submissively is nothing like masturbating imagining myself being dominated.

So here I am at the one week mark. I know this is the most difficult time. It will get easier tomorrow. This is the time when both Mrs. Lion and I have to be at our strongest. I have to remember that all these feelings are the natural reactions to being caged and losing sexual control. It’s the dominant lion trying to claw his way out of his cage. My job is to recognize this and not act out on these feelings. It’s not easy. If it weren’t something braves lion do, I might want to cry a bit right now.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sensation Play, Spanking
One comment on “The Most Difficult Day
  1. Lenny says:

    Pretty much follows our story. I have been caged for a year this month. We have had a few stops and starts until we figured out what worked for us. One of the things is that no matter what, my wife is not going to become a Mistress. She is just too much of a giving person who does not like to hurt so we practice chastity without D/s. Maybe just a little bit if she asks me to get her a cup or coffee or massage her feet.

    We used to have set days for my orgasm but either my wife or I gave in before then. That was because we were setting unrealistic goals for my orgasms. After 3 weeks I get annoying and she feels sorry. I start dreaming about sex and it consumes my thoughts all day long. My wife finds it annoying and she feels sorry at the same time since I have treated her very well so she has no reason to deny me any further.

    We both want to keep chastity as our lifestyle as my wife does enjoy teasing and denying me and I feel better when I have a little sexual tension coursing through my body. Usually after an orgasm I feel down and bored for a week afterwards. So what to do?

    What we are doing now is not setting a date for my release, especially those long periods that got me hard when we talked about them but not so much after thinking about waiting a few months for an orgasm. Both my wife and I enjoy my orgasms as I suspect many women do. Why shouldn’t they enjoy giving their lover an orgasm as much as their lover enjoys giving them one. That is what my wife made me understand: She told me that she feels the same urge to make me cum as I do for her. She gets the same enjoyment from watching me orgasm as I do for her so why deny her the same pleasure that I enjoy?

    So now it will be a balance between her enjoyment of teasing and denying me and her need to give me an orgasm. We talked and settled on 4 weeks as being the longest period without an orgasm for me. This way she will no longer feel like she is giving in to me by making me orgasm sooner than she originally said.

    She will also stop asking me if I want to cum every time we have sex and I will no longer ask her for an orgasm. If I ask her for an orgasm now, she will not give it to me even if she planned on doing so. I will not know when I will cum. There is also a reason for this. When she talks about denying me I get real hard but once she acts or sounds like she is going to make me cum, I go soft because subconsciously I am trying not to. It is amazing how this works.

    So this is our lifestyle. I wear my CB6000s 24/7 with occasional periods for cleaning it. I am very used to it after a year but the tube did split on me but was easily fixed by some glue made to plastics. I tried a metal device but I have a small and large testicle so I need a ring that can fit over my larger one but then tighten to trap my smaller one. Solid rings do not work and the hinged metal one I bought was just annoying as the hinge rubbed me raw, even when I taped it. The CB design works the best for me and also provides easy cleaning. It fits perfectly and is light. That is what I will stay with.

    Just want to mention one thing that sort of goes along the way you said you feel after a week. I get a mini panic attack when I realize that I am locked up. I do not losing control over things and when I really want to masturbate and know that I cannot, I get anxiety and this sometimes leads to be telling my wife that I do not want to do this anymore. She knows how I get so she just tells me that if I feel the same way in a few hours, she will unlock me. That always does the trick as just knowing that I can get out makes me feel better.

    If you asked me a year ago if I preferred having my penis locked up and only having one or two orgasms a month, I would have said you were crazy. Now I do not feel comfortable when I am not locked up. Another weird thing is that when I am not locked up, online porn does not stimulate me the same as it does when I am locked up. Go figure.