This week has been difficult. We are coming off a four day weekend. I started my new hours. Lion hit his sixth day after orgasm. Lion also hurt his back the other day so he’s been trying not to move around a lot. Neither of us has been sleeping well. It all adds up to a whole lot of nothing.
We played Tuesday night but not for long. Lion wasn’t really into it. We were both tired. Last night I was tired and he was hurting. Life has definitely intruded again. Depending on how he feels tonight we may be lucky if we can snuggle without causing him too much pain. I had a passing thought about giving him a butt plug last night but when I got home he was flat on his back in bed. No butt plug for Lion.
If I had been a “real” top, the internet kind, I would have told him to suck it up and give me his butt. He would have had to deal with the pain from his back and the butt plug and maybe I would have even spanked him for good measure. While wearing my leather bustier and 4 inch stilettos. And then I would have made him kneel on the floor so I could put my feet up on him while I watched tv. I think we’re both glad I’m not a “real” top.
The way I look at it is that my first responsibility is to Lion. I do this kinky stuff because he wants me to. But even if I was the one with the lust for red Lion buns and a frustrated Mr. Weenie, I would still be responsible for his well being. There is no way we can adhere to an every other day play schedule if one of us doesn’t feel like playing. What happens tomorrow night if he isn’t feeling up to his orgasm? Nothing. I won’t force him to have it. He can have it the next day. Or the next day. Or whenever he feels well enough.
Will I add time to his next wait as retribution? Why would I do that? He feels bad enough that his back hurts. He’ll feel bad if he has to miss a scheduled orgasm. Why make him feel worse by extending his wait time? If anything, I’d be more prone to cutting the wait time for the next orgasm. Remember, I love giving him orgasms. Making him wait longer punishes me too. Can’t have that!
So tonight I will go home and make Lion as comfortable as possible. If he is up to playing we can play. I just don’t want him to feel that he has to.